5 Things We Now Know About Marriage and Divorce

Is there life at the end of divorce?

Source: Alex Green / Pexels

This has been quite the year for the changing landscape of love, marriage, and divorce in psychological research. And with the average divorce occurring after only eight years of marriage, there is a lot of catching up to do.

1. We Are Increasingly Including Data on Same-Sex Couples Who Marry

According to the National Survey of Family growth, the most recent data reports that the refined divorce rate in the United States is 14.9 per 1,000 married woman.

What does this mean?

For years, researchers have differentiated between the crude divorce rate (how many divorces per 1,000 people) and the refined divorce rate (the rate of divorce per 1,000 married women). The problem is that the crude divorce rate compares the number of people who have divorced to the number of people in the population at large.

Why is this a problem?

Data from the crude divorce rate can tell us how many people (per 1,000) are getting divorced—but it doesn't tell us what percentage of the population is getting married. Unfortunately, the refined divorce rate doesn't give us enough information either. The refined divorce rate only tallies the number of women who divorce.

When the refined divorce rate came into practice in the 1980s, same-sex marriage was a long way from the 2015 legalization, so there was no way to accurately track same-sex couple's commitment.

There was, however, a great deal of attention being paid to reproduction, specifically the age at which (married) women had children. In the 1950s the average woman would give birth to her first child at 21 years. By the 1980s, women working outside the home and gaining independence had shifted that average age to nearly 26.

And science got stuck in the habit of associating marriage with children.

As a growing number of same-sex couples marry or same-sex couples and opposite couples choose not to marry, researchers are crunching numbers in an attempt to identify the method that most accurately captures the number of married individuals regardless of gender and partner gender.

2. The Greatest Predictors of Divorce Are Lack of Commitment, Infidelity, and Domestic Abuse

Earlier this year we reviewed research revealing that how much we think our partner is committed to our relationship heavily influences our level of relationship satisfaction.

According to a study by Belu and O'Sullivan (2024), infidelity significantly increases levels of conflict -- a consequence which should come as a surprise to absolutely no one -- and disrupts the very foundation of the relationship, often leading to separation and potentially divorce.

Times, they seem to be a-changing, according to an article in the European Journal of Development Research (2024). This study examined a large population of women in India where the rates of domestic violence are significantly higher than the rates of divorce. However, recent public protests against domestic violence now coincide with an increased number of divorces initiated by women. The more violent the domestic abuse, the more likely someone is to file for divorce.

3. 40 Percent of New Marriages Include a Partner Who Is Remarrying

A decade-old study by Pew Research determined that approximately 20 percent of new marriages involve one partner who has been married before, while another 20 percent of marriages are repeat (second or third marriages) for both individuals.

Another fun fact about repeat marriages? Men who remarry often choose a spouse who is younger than the first woman they married. Twenty percent of men who remarry will choose a spouse who is 10 years younger than they are. Conversely, when women remarry, 13 percent of them will choose a spouse who is 10 years older than them.

Divorce Essential Reads

How to Reach a Child Who Rejects You After Divorce

When Adult Kids Are Unsupportive About Your Gray Divorce

Interestingly, a study by Botzet and Shea of over 17,000 heterosexual women ages 18-67 from over 140 countries, found that the older you are, the more attracted you are to someone who is assertive and confident.

A study by Skopek, Schmitz, and Blossfield found slightly different results. While men appear to have a preference for younger women as they age, women actually have a greater variety of interests in men as they age, one that often takes a prospective partner's education into account.

4. Third Marriages Have the Highest Divorce Rate

Do you know someone who seems to be drawn to marrying the same person in a different body? You're probably not wrong about them.

Glenn Weisfeld at the University of Pecs in Hungary found that women tend to pick men who are similar to their fathers when they are looking for a romantic partner. It is suggested that a sort of "imprinting" process occurs, similar to the way ducklings have been found to imprint on their mother.

Another study by Chopik and Leahy found that both men and women tend to choose new partners who physically resemble past partners and/or a parent or parental figure. Why? We are drawn to what we imagine is familiar and predictable, no matter how that experience affected us.

And your "type" doesn't change as you get older, either. This might explain why the likelihood of divorces increases every time you marry—and remarry.

Although only 6 percent of marriages are third marriages, we have learned that the more frequently you marry, the more likely you are to divorce. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 67 percent of second marriages and 73 percent of third marriages will end in divorce.

5. Only 6 Percent of Divorced Couples Remarry Each Other

Divorced couples who remarry are the unicorn of hope for children—and adult children—everywhere. Except that the odds may favor the likelihood of seeing a unicorn a bit more than the odds of seeing your parents remarry since only 6 percent of divorced couples get remarried to each other.

On the upside, when previously divorced couples do remarry, there is a high likelihood of success. A whopping 72 percent of couples who divorce and then remarry will stay together for the long haul.

In Conclusion

Marriage is hard. Thankfully, research has made it easier to understand what our most likely path is to create a happy marriage—or a happy divorce.

Facebook image: shisu_ka/Shutterstock