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Do You Have Low-Self Esteem?

How can you tell if you have high or low self-esteem?

There are many causes of low self-esteem and a lot of these could be dealt with by a psychotherapist working on a patient's psychological issues. It can range from a person's genes to their upbringing and it can also come from an underlying condition or even all of them together.

A patient can discover the root of their low self-confidence in a professional environment. Psychotherapy focuses on helping the client uncover the causes of their personal experiences. This may help them to work out that they are experiencing their fears because of their own negative feelings about themselves.

The first step is to determine what the issue is and then to find a way to get it resolved. This can involve changing lifestyle, eating habits, or even the way you look at the world. You will find that if you can work through it and improve the way you feel, your self-confidence and self-worth will rise.

Sometimes low self-esteem can stem from trauma or a difficult childhood. Sometimes it can be attributed to an unhappy marriage, divorce, or relationship break up. The causes of low self-esteem can be complicated and you will have to think carefully about what your particular problem may be. A therapist can help you work through the issues and uncover any deep-seated issues that may be causing your lack of self-esteem.

Other causes of low self-esteem could be a result of too much negativity in your environment. This could include a lack of positive thinking and self-talk. Negative thinking about yourself and others often leaves a negative impact on people around you. This affects relationships, family members, and even your self-esteem in general. A psychologist can help you work on the positives of your thoughts and beliefs in order to improve your life and boost your self-esteem.

Certain conditions can also cause low self-esteem including social anxiety. This disorder is not only destructive to one's life but can also affect one's health. Social anxiety is caused by being afraid of being embarrassed and losing your social interactions in public places. The more severe the condition, the harder it is to overcome.

Physical ailments can also result in low self-esteem. People who suffer from chronic pain, joint pain, arthritis, or migraine headaches are often left feeling unhappy and unattractive. Low self-esteem can also be a result of poor diets and poor nutrition.

No matter the cause of low self-esteem, it can be worked through as long as the person is willing to work at solving their issues. A psychologist will help you explore the causes of low self-esteem and work with you to overcome them. Once issues have been identified, a psychologist can help you find a solution to help improve your situation and your life.

Although social problems are a major cause of low self-esteem, many other types of issues can cause it. Depression, for example, can lead to low self-esteem. This can be caused by low levels of self-confidence and low self-esteem in general. If you have a history of depression, it is likely you will have low self-esteem, and if you are suffering from depression, treatment may be necessary. Your doctor can advise you on how to manage depression and work with you to improve your social skills.

Some people may also be born with low self-esteem and never be aware of the problem. These may include people born with a disability or developmental disorder such as deafness, blindness, and those with brain damage. These individuals may need to see a therapist to help them work through the problems that caused their high self-esteem and find a way to live life to its full potential and learn new skills. Then they should be better equipped to face all types of challenges and overcome problems.

Self-Esteem Self-Assessment

While this self-esteem assessment can never replace the one you would have with a professional therapist, it is a good place to start figuring out where you lie with your self-esteem. These questions were helpful to me when I was trying to figure out where to start with my journey. Answer with a simple yes or no, and please remember to be kind to yourself.

  1. Can I elaborate on my good points, skills, abilities, achievements, and success with other people?
  2. Can I stand my ground with people who I think are violating or overlooking my rights? Can I confidently and respectfully put my foot down?
  3. Am I fully happy with who I am, how I behave, and what I do in life?
  4. Am I not bothered by feelings of insecurity or anxiety when I meet people for the first time?
  5. Is my life balanced in aspects such as family life, social life, recreation/leisure, and spiritual life? (If you find yourself often gravitating toward distractive recreational activities you may be avoiding dealing with the reality of what your life really is)
  6. Am I aware of the roles I played in my family of origin and I have been usually able to make these behavior patterns work for me?
  7. Am I bonded with significant others at home, work, school, at play, or in the community?
  8. Am I a good problem solver? Is my thinking not clouded by irrational beliefs or fears?
  9. Am I willing to experience conflict, if necessary, to protect my rights?

if you answered no to three or more of these questions, you may need to work on your self-esteem more than you think.

People with low self-esteem put on a fake persona that satisfies their ego.

People with low self-esteem pretend to be something they are not in order to get the validation and approval they crave for. Some of the most common personas they display may include:

  • The Loser. People who have low self-esteem may portray themselves as helpless and incapable to cope with the world. They may be waiting for a "knight in shining armor" to rescue them. The loser has self-pity and often plays the victim role because they are afraid to take responsibility for changing their life. They constantly look for guidance from other people which results in a lack of assertiveness, underachievement, and excessive reliance on other people in relationships.
  • The Pretentious Person. These people put on a facade. They pretend to be happy and successful when truly they don't feel that way about themselves. In reality, they are afraid of failure or of being viewed as a failure. They are also afraid that people will see their true selves. They need continuous success to maintain the image that they have high self-esteem. These people tend to be perfectionists and competitive, and they are often burnt out because of trying to keep up their facade.
  • The Rebel. I was once a rebellious individual. I thought it made me cool and different but in reality, I was struggling with self-esteem. Rebels often feel the need to go against laws and rules because it makes them feel in control. They often feel like they are not good enough or they feel misunderstood. It is important for them to prove that others are wrong and that they are right. They often pretend that other people's judgments and criticism don't affect them when in reality it makes them want to prove themselves even more.

If you find yourself fitting into one of these personas, chances are that you struggle with relationships. Be it work, romance, family, or friendship, they don't quite fulfill you, and you struggle with conflict because it is a direct attack on your ego. If you are in this situation, work on your self-esteem. Reach out for help if you can.