Do You Lack This Important Quality?

This characteristic may enhance your relationships.

Posted Nov 01, 2020 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

I have worked with people of all ages for over 30 years. It always fascinates me to try to figure out why some are considered more socially desirable and are consistently more likely to be sought out by others as friends. Individuals of all ages come in all sorts of packages with all sorts of characteristics. Some are more attractive and more intelligent. Others have more empathy and patience. There are kind people. There are funny people. Others are extremely generous. Some have access to more resources. Yet, none of the above qualities seem to be the most appealing. In my work, I have found that those who are most likely to be invited, sought out, and attended to, are those who are curious.

These are the children, teens, and adults of all ages who express interest in others. They follow the thread of conversations and follow up with lively questions showing that they have been paying attention and are interested in you and your life. They ask about your interests, the people and pets in your life, and may even forward a podcast or article to you that is consistent with what you enjoy. They remember what you like to do, what you enjoy eating, and which music you listen to. And how do they know this? They make a point of being curious about you by observing what you do and listening to you during conversation. 

Most people don't expect others to be paying exquisite attention to what you are saying and doing, so when you meet someone who does so, you are usually delighted. It makes you feel like you are someone interesting and important, right? And how about the person who greets you and then actually waits for your answer after they ask how you are? That is a special experience.

The message here is that you should pay attention to whether or not you are expressing curiosity and interest in others. This is a quality that will set you apart in a wonderful way. Think about the people in your life who you enjoy being around. I am pretty certain that you will find that they really know and understand you.