Talking to My Daughter About College Relationships

Protecting your college daughters

Posted Aug 05, 2013

Dear Dr. G.,

My daughter is going off to college in a few weeks. I am worried that she may make bad decisions and get pressured into relationships and sex too soon. I remember my own freshman year of college and my friends and I made some pretty foolish decisions. It is very hard to change a bad reputation once you get a bad one. What do you suggest that I tell my daughter. Should I even broach this topic with her?

A Concerned Mom

Dear Concerned Mom,

I am delighted that you brought up this topic. As we all know, there is a lot of drinking on college campuses. That coupled with males and females going to parties together without supervision may indeed lead to sexual encounters some positive and some not so positive.

I have polled a number of college girls about the advice that they wish that they had gotten prior to their freshmen year at college. I agree with their ideas and I recommend that you share them with your daughter.

1. Spend the first semester getting to know people and making friends rather than hooking up.

2. Spend lots of time getting to know the opposite sex as friends so that you learn about their characters.

3. Watch your alcohol intake. Too much alcohol leads to dis-inhibition which may lead to sex that will be regretted.

4. Say no to sex if you are not interested and say it firmly.


5. Remember that it can take years to change a reputation if at all.

Good luck. I wish you and your daughter well. I invite other parents and daughters to weigh in on this issue.

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