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I know of a person or 2 who might have this syndrome. They both have 7 out of 10 symptoms. The descriptions are accurate and these people need to be helped. Parents need to stop looming over their children and release the reigns a little. It will help make their children better people in the long run.
Source: Stefano Cavoretto/Shutterstock
Little Prince (or Princess) Syndrome, when it occurs in adulthood, is also known as Peter Pan Syndrome. The condition does not figure in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), so it is not considered an official mental disorder. But it is a common condition, one which often results from an overly protective mother (or father)—a helicopter mom, or a parent who gives their son or daughter free range, and too much praise and attention, during childhood and adolescence. Such parental behavior is also sometimes referred to as emotional incest.*
Peter Pan Syndrome is traditionally thought of as a situation in which a grown man is childish and immature, despite his age. But in today's culture, with so much helicopter parenting, it's safe to assume that both men and women can exhibit these behaviors. Little Prince (or Princess) Syndrome is related to, but not identical to, Emperor Syndrome, a term is primarily used to describe Chinese boys with no siblings who behave like little tyrants.
Little Princes and Princesses, as I define them, are grown men or women who act as if they are selfish children, narcissistic teenagers, or irresponsible young adults, and feel entitled to behave as they see fit. Following are 10 traits typical of someone living with Little Prince or Princess Syndrome. (For simplicity's sake, I use the term Little Prince below, and refer to the role of mothers, not father, but the signs are applicable to all genders.)
- He is in touch with his mom almost every day. She is more "in" his life than anyone else. She checks up on him and worries about him, even though he is a grown man. She might buy his clothes and his groceries, and do his laundry for him.
- He acts like a child, a teenager, or a person who is much younger than he is. He might throw temper tantrums or party all night with people 10 years younger than him.
- He acts as if women should serve him. He expects to be taken care of and be pampered on demand. He will happily take but never give.
- He cannot maintain a long-term, stable romantic relationship. Former partners end up becoming his enemies or new playmates.
- He is commitment-phobic in nearly all areas of life—despite having a needy attachment style. It can take him six months to commit to buying a new sofa.
- He has few, if any, close friends. His "friends" consist mostly of his mom and the strangers he meets when out playing or partying.
- He is often passive-aggressive, meaning he has a tendency to engage in an indirect expression of hostility through acts such as subtle insults, sullen behavior, stubbornness, or a deliberate failure to accomplish required tasks.
- He is a narcissist or exhibits a childish selfishness. If something is even mildly inconvenient, he will resist doing it.
- He is financially irresponsible. He spends too much money playing, partying, or chasing after women.
- He rarely thinks anything is his fault. He blames everyone around him for everything that goes wrong in his life—even his mother if he can't find another scapegoat.
It's unusual for a Little Prince to possess every one of these traits, so it can be hard to identify them. Their ability to lure you into their world with their childish innocence and charm makes it even trickier, but their concerned mothers, and their own irresponsibility and selfishness, eventually give them away.
* Note: The term emotional incest is also used to describe cases in which a parent treats his or her child as their partner or spouse.
Berit "Brit" Brogaard is a co-author of The Superhuman Mind
They just need love
Submitted by Gen on December 18, 2018 - 6:10am
I have a sibling who acts like the symptoms mentioned and I admit I also have some of those symptoms too. But meeting able to meet people like them helped me understand that maybe they just need love. In my opinion, they're often misunderstood because most people doesn't understand/see their innermost thoughts and feelings behind their actions. People judge others too quickly without getting to know the real them. Just like me, I always make sure that everything is 100% safe, secure and real before I decide to take the next step and voice out my opinion. I don't like to be forced and I get really anxious and overwhelmed when it becomes too much. I also love the idea of becoming a mother with a loving husband because I love children so much. But I need time to know if it's for real. I'm not normal and I am living with PTSD so I tend to keep my thoughts to myself. I'm not outspoken with my innermost thoughts and feelings which make people always critically judge and misunderstood me, causing me hate and bitter in the end. It may be far from what being a "Little Prince (or Princess) Syndrome" really is but maybe some people could relate to my experience. I mean, giving your all for the other person but gets your dreams and hope crash every single time just because of one single mistake all the while having your innermost thoughts and feelings to defend yourself left unspoken? That is the most difficult regret and burden you'll always carry wherever you go and maybe hunt you in your adulthood. I've been there and I know the feeling. But having this experience plus having born with high intuition, I find this part of my personality useful when understanding other people. Especialy when dealing with my beloved primary school students.
on what you said at the beginning of the paragraph
Submitted by Soul Pop on September 17, 2019 - 2:59pm
The problem with the little prince or princess syndrome, and I am speaking from personal experience is: the avoidance of responsibility at any cost, narcissism, passive aggressiveness and manipulation.
Its not about being misunderstood and therefore a victim due to that. That is just another form of manipulation, being a victim. Its not about them not getting love, but its about them getting their way! Its due to those things I just mentioned above that the person with such a dysfunction can never find peace and is in complete resistance to everything that is and they want everything their way without responsibility and barely any work of their own put into what they want. They want everything ready to go with least effort possible, and that is really doesnt work in their favor long term in any area in life.
I say this because I am this. Its horrible. Its my own fault.
Exactly. They want others to
Submitted by Lea on October 18, 2019 - 4:35pm
Exactly. They want others to make life happen while they do nothing. They can't really even be loved because they can't even make the effort to love someone.
It's about me
Submitted by Coreen Figaro on November 23, 2019 - 5:52pm
Hey good night I am not going to be very rude and disrespectful the things I am going to say my fucking family want to treat me like if I am a fucking child i am a big fucking 38 years old woman want to live my fucking live they don't want me to go no where especially my aunt she working want to have me home here do nothing just clean and cook for her wash for her I have a bf he want to be around me he was been treated funny from from my grandma funeral and I will fix her I want a job to build my new life.
Dejected, Sour Women of West
Submitted by Raghuraj Mukherjee on December 1, 2020 - 1:40am
Perhaps the only narcisistic person in here is the girlfriend/wife who fail to get the required attention or desired pampering and suddenly realize that they will have to work hard to create a home for their prince charming. Just like both their moms did, which irks them.
Well I have other issues, and as workaholic I am, I know this is not for me. But just a different perspective.
Little Prince Syndrome
Submitted by Charles on November 5, 2016 - 12:57am
Honestly, this reads like a blog. Sounds like you were on the receiving end of a boys relationship. Sorry you had such a rough time, but now you know. There is probably a reason DSM doesn't categorize this. It doesn't exist.
I agree
Submitted by Pepe on January 15, 2017 - 9:53pm
Psychology Today reads like a Cosmo magazine, almost 0 science here, and a lot of bitter women using their placebo Phd to rationalize their bad experiences with dark triad men.
grow up kiddo
Submitted by Jean-Francois Goyette on July 15, 2017 - 9:39pm
Who should we thrust here? The PHDs or the anonymous alt-right username who acts exactly like the narcissistic man-child described above? Seems to me the only bitterness here is on your side.
And frankly, it makes sense.
butthurt little jean-francois
Submitted by your name on November 3, 2018 - 4:08pm
butthurt little jean-francois
LITTLE PRINCE NOW WHAT?
Submitted by RITA HOOVER on November 10, 2016 - 7:00pm
ok, this is my 27-year-old son - please share what to do about it?
What to do?
Submitted by Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D on November 10, 2016 - 8:48pm
Thanks for your question. It's a good question what to do about it. You're saying it's your son. Does he live at home or has he moved out? What to do will depend on our answer to that question. If he lives at home, perhaps it's time for him to move out. Even if you were to help him out in the beginning, it signals that it's time to become independent. If he already moved out, that--needless to say--is not going to be an option for a wake-up call. If I were you, I'd have a talk with him about it. If that doesn't work, then you need to set boundaries with him--start small and explain to him why you are doing what you are doing.
Now what?
Submitted by Rita on November 11, 2016 - 10:29am
I am in the 11th hour of enforcing him moving out. He's making it extremely difficult. We are fighting and I feel like the bad gut, yet I offered many timelines, extensions, help, and he did not comply- except for the part about stopping to Pay me rent while he saved for his own place. He didn't do that and he also didn't pay me so now here we are I making a move out and he has no money. But it's been a long haul and he needs to be on his own.
Right Decision
Submitted by Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D on November 11, 2016 - 1:00pm
I think you are making the right decision by deciding to firmly tell him that NOW it's time to move out. You are not doing him a favor by letting him stay in the long run. He needs to be on his own. Otherwise, he will have serious problems later on. Also, I feel he is using you. Sure, he is your son but it's still not okay for him to use you for comfort and convenience, and what not.
Thank you
Submitted by Rita on November 11, 2016 - 7:52pm
Your affirmation of me doing the right thing was helpful. As of
today he seems to have found a cheap apartment and has an
interview for a job...fingers crossed!
Happy to hear it
Submitted by Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D on November 12, 2016 - 9:39am
I am very happy to hear it. Good luck!
I am in the 11th hour of
Submitted by Rita on November 11, 2016 - 10:34am
I am in the 11th hour of enforcing him moving out. He's making it extremely difficult. We are fighting and I feel like the bad gut, yet I offered many timelines, extensions, help, and he did not comply- except for the part about stopping to Pay me rent while he saved for his own place. He didn't do that and he also didn't pay me so now here we are I making a move out and he has no money. But it's been a long haul and he needs to be on his own.
i have 2,6,9
Submitted by Ezra on December 5, 2018 - 3:19pm
hi Dr.
i have numbers 2,6, & 9 of your article and i would like to know if you can give me some tips on what to do.
im not embarrassed to share my phone #. please do contact me... 6465009005. i need help.
Berit....
Submitted by saz on November 10, 2016 - 8:59pm
how do you relate this according to different cultures? Asian cultures are normally more involved & mothers tend to smother & it's considered normal....so does that mean asian cultures have an epidemic of peter pan-syndrome or is peter pan syndrome measured according to what's normal in western societies only?
Non-Western Cultures
Submitted by Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D on November 10, 2016 - 9:22pm
This is a super-interesting question. My specialty (or one of them) is love in Western cultures. But even in Western cultures, you sometimes find this pattern. Italian boys, for instance, are often smothered by their mothers. Anecdotally at least, they tend to move out from home very late (sometimes in their 30s). Even once they have moved out, the mother tends to play a crucial role in their lives. In Italy at least--more so than in Italian-American families--this DOES generate a culture of Peter Pans. Is this also so for Asian cultures? Certainly, there is the little emperor syndrome in China, which other people have written extensively about. The whole tiger mom approach to parenting can also contribute to this phenomenon. Men's (and women's) adult behavior and attachment style is to a large extent grounded in parenting style. If indeed a whole culture has a certain parenting style, this may result in little childish narcissistic children (for the most part). Part of what contributes to this, in my opinion, is the lack of an appreciation for personal autonomy in non-Western cultures. Child and parent are much more often considered a whole, which can lead to Little Princes and Little Princesses.
thanks for replying....
Submitted by saz on November 10, 2016 - 10:11pm
Yeh I was going to add about italians & other southern europeans. But I head from Chinese people themselves say that this Emporer Syndrome is mainly down to the fact that this generation has grown up without siblings so they become selfish & spoilt.....at least they dont acknowledge helicopter parenting as a culprit,so is that again another cultural factor-respecting elders so therefore not blaming them, or are we judging them based on a western mindset?
Also, what about Middle-Eastern cultures,they have massive families & some similar dynamics as italians,however they marry early unlike italians. & although there are some negatives about middle-eastern culture being patriarchal & sometimes backwards compared to western ways, what about the fact that their family units are 'tighter' & their concerns arent' as trivial as in the west? I don't know if this is slightly going off-track but now this is making me think about the relationship between unhealthy parenting (peter pan syndrome) & offspring having psychotic tendancies, such as stats say psychopaths are usually white men (along with all the other criteria),so how come unhealthy parenting doesn't produce as many psychos in asia? (leaving religious fundamentalism out of the equation)
Just wondering what ur professional opinion on that is, because I find it interesting & often ponder about such things?
Good points
Submitted by Berit Brogaard D.M.Sci., Ph.D on November 11, 2016 - 1:22pm
You are making some good points. Yes, many asians claim they don't value personal autonomy the way many people in the West do. Their family structures are more wholistic, meaning they consider a family unit an individual (in some broad sense of 'individual'). As a result, children are more often seen as an extension of the mother or the family. This, of course, can have the same consequences as when it happens in, say, the US.
Non-Western Cultures
Submitted by David Dieni on October 26, 2020 - 5:47pm
With respect, while I have no formal qualifications, as an activist the problem of immaturity, is the primary bulwark that we have been unable to overcome because rational argument and the presentation of facts are a futile waste of time.....and something "the left" has failed to recognize
It's quite clear the origins of this problem today stem from 100 years of targeted indoctrination (creole commission, Walter Lipman, Eduard Béarnaise) from birth to the grave, via education for obedience and the control of the media. The aim was to produce a population of clueless, infantile compliant consumers, dependent on the system of their oppression, rendering them incapable of challenging it. They are kept in check by fear mongering and their dependency on the state that trumps facts and evidence every time........and has ultimately led to the election of Trump
Sexist!
Submitted by Jangles on November 11, 2016 - 1:29am
OMG this is soooo sexist and mean!!! You should be locked up!!! You're soooo oppressive and such a mean bigot!!!
(Not really. I'm just trying to fit in with the paranoid crybabies who constantly look for stuff to be offended about.)
Did I do it right?
Some Tips
Submitted by Dave on July 16, 2017 - 12:52am
There is room for improvement.
What you need to do is be offended on behalf of others. For example, if you are a man, talk about how offensive this is to women. Or if you are white, talk about how offensive this is to people with dark skin. The trick is to be offended and outraged for the sake of others.
This form of outrage I am proposing is also a very strong form of passive racism and belittling which then hopefully manages to offend all sets of people on both sides of the fence.
Perfect description.......
Submitted by Andi on November 20, 2016 - 3:55pm
Of my 40 yr old ex husband who has EVERY trait on this list, heavy on the narcissm.
I always said his mother treated him as a companion substitute for her husband who spent long hours working. I had no idea there was a term for that.
I presume that he will never change, he hasn't yet!
CHECK
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I used to know a "little princess"
Submitted by Anonymous A on December 14, 2016 - 11:55pm
A former friend of mine (I'll call her "Princess") was an only child and when we were kids (and even adults, actually) Princess could say any rude, mean, shockingly disrespectful thing she felt like saying to her mother and her mother never got angry or corrected her! Even as a child I thought that was bizarre and fantastic. (My mother would beat me silly for much less egregious crimes.)
Princess' parents really did treat her like royalty.
The result: as a briefly married then quickly divorced adult, Princess lived a few blocks away from her parents in the house they bought for her, which in a few years became unlivable due to Princess' QVC habit, hoarding behaviors, and dislike of housework.
Although Princess achieved a Masters degree in her field of choice she decided that she didn't really like working, so her elderly parents supported her. (They had inherited wealth and could afford to do that, was my understanding.)
Now as an older person (as we both are) Princess resembles nothing so much as a gigantic toddler. It's actually kind of sad.
And before we parted ways, Princess shared with me that she had been diagnosed with Narcissistic PD, as though that was a grand thing to be proud of.(?!)
I eventually found that I wasn't willing or able to tolerate Princess' NPD behaviors and attitudes any longer, and let go of her as a friend, but knowing her did give me the ability to spot similar personality types pretty easily. Once you learn about & become aware of NPD traits and behaviors they're pretty easy to observe.
Peter Pan Syndrome???
Submitted by anon on January 15, 2017 - 11:24pm
I know a very bad case of EI (EMOTIONAL INCEST) in a friend of mine from school and her only child, a 42 year old son who still lives at home with her & her husband. It seemed to start out as a little boy and it appeared because of her tumultuous relationship with her alcoholic husband. They fought a lot and he wasn't always home early as hung out with drinking buddies. She allowed her son to do whatever he wanted and eat as much as he wanted. She had several affairs outside her marriage and confided into her son as a close friend. She continued to spoiled her son until he weighed upware around 400 lbs, dropped out of school because of teasing, he didn't work except very rarely at menial jobs a few hours a week then always let go, didn't drive until he was in his 30's and later lost most his teeth. She always said, "She never would "allow" him to marry and leave her. She needed him to "take care" of her. Now he is on disability because of health reasons. She never worked. He surprisingly has had a couple of girl friends over the years but always ended badly. (maybe mother?) What a sad, sad pathetic existence. I always wonder what will happen if the son dies before the mother or if the bread winner dad dies leaving them without savings or house.
This is my partner––is there a way to deal with this?
Submitted by Anonymous on July 16, 2017 - 1:13am
Hi,
My partner is a 36 year-old Indian male. His sister is 10 years older than him, and he was pretty much treated like an only child. He puts his mother on a pedestal, and he fits all of these traits and behaviors. Sometimes he just seems like a 190-pound toddler who cooks better than I do, and has a solid understanding of financial markets, even if he is not very financially responsible.
At times he seems like he has Borderline PD, Narcissistic PD, and even Asperger Syndrome. He fits this profile perfectly. And at the same time, he is still a human being who needs and deserves love. Yes, he drives me crazy sometimes, and yet, I still love him. I'm not perfect either. From his perspective, I must have a lot of things that are less than perfect.
It seems like there are a lot of people in this world that have issues with personality, relating, and interpersonal relationships. Is there a resource available that can help us relate better to people who especially struggle with issues like Peter Pan Syndrome?
The usual advice for dealing with people with symptoms of NPD and BPD issues is to cut ties, ignore, kick the person out of your life, etc., however, that doesn't solve the bigger problem of interpersonal relating issues, and seems like in the long run, it will create more problems in the big picture on a world scale. It seems like the responsible people of the world, like myself, keep attracting the Peter Pan-types, and that ditching one Peter Pan only leads to another taking his place because that is all that is left in the world when you are over 30, since the grown ups are already partnered.
As mentioned, I do love him, so any resources that you can suggest on how to actually deal with these behaviors and traits instead of running away would be much appreciated.
I am 50% this man,but I am
Submitted by greatness on July 16, 2017 - 2:07pm
I am 50% this man,but I am working on myself please advice me.
Me
Submitted by Honestly Inrospective on September 13, 2017 - 12:24pm
I stumbled(?) upon this article because I continue to have issues with my ex-wife, the mother of my two children, and thought I should take a look at myself and see if I need an attitude adjustment.
I feel dismissed by her on a regular basis. I also feel that some of her expectations of me are unrealistic. This is nothing new, as I often felt the same way when we were married. Nevertheless, it does get the better of me sometimes and I tend to react poorly.
Honestly, this article describes me in a lot of ways. Aside from the narcissistic trait, the attachment to mom (I've never been close with either of my parents), expecting to be served by women, the inability to maintain long term relationships (maybe my 20 yr relationship/marriage w/ex was a fluke?), and making excuses part, I feel like I fit the description, and I strongly suspect that it leads to the difficulties I experience with my ex.
I also cannot fathom the idea of being in another committed relationship despite having been apart from her for 4 years. I feel like I'm destined to spend the rest of my life alone, and sometimes that almost seems appealing. I also believe that none of us are perfect and that we are all attracted to each other at different times, for different reasons. I have tried to heal my friendship with my ex, but something eventually sets one of us off and all progress is lost.
If I ever do find myself again with the prospect of a serious relationship, I don't want to make similar mistakes that come from these ways of thinking. I feel like if I can heal my friendship with my ex, maybe I'll stand a chance at a happy love life.
Any comments or criticism are welcome.
Spot On...
Submitted by Melissa on October 29, 2017 - 12:24pm
I just left a 33 year old man due to this disgusting behavior.
So unattractive.
Such a turn off.
I don't like kids why the hell would I want a man in my life who is nothing more than a big, stubborn CHILD?
This behavior is real and it destroys everything and everyone good in its path.
The manchild I was dealing with hit every single one of these points on the head.
I now look back and ask wtf was I thinking?!?
The best 225lbs I ever lost.
gender
Submitted by Stochastikos on January 16, 2018 - 10:37am
Why is this article directed towards males? I came across this article while researching ways that I can deal with an emotionally regressive female co-worker. This article is sexist as it baits people in with a gender neutral word "Adult" and then pretends that only men can be immature adults. This article is not professional.
self-diagnosis, soft of.
Submitted by M4rc1n on March 18, 2018 - 9:28am
1. Yes, I live with my mom. Mostly because of financial reasons. I currently have no job and nowhere else to go. And I'd rather live with parents than in some instytute where complete strangers watch my every move and decide whether I can go out or use the bathroom.
And it's not like my mom does all the work - I help her too, however I can - buying heavy items (water, potatoes), helping in kitchen, cleaning apartment, et cetera.
2. Not sure about that. Probably true, because last time I had any sort of social interaction was in highschool. Social interaction is unpredictible and thus scary, so I don't socialize very often. Without interaction I can't possibly learn how to act like a grown up, so I act the way I already know... Even if it means throwing tantrum when rejected from a job (more important thing to me -> harder to control the anger when I don't get it. Earning money to live is quite important...).
3. Nope.
4. I can't even start relationship. Good luck with that when first thought when you see a girl is "she'll never like me/she already have someone". I was rejected by a girl in highschool. Twice. I don't want to feel like that ever again.
5. I have no money to buy new sofa.
6. I can't force people to like me, so there's that. I can't make friends with people who make fun of me and I hardly see anyone else beside my close family. I don't want to risk being mocked, ridiculed or used and forgotten when not needed. I'd rather stay alone than have "friends" like that.
7. Beating the crap out of people tends to bring more troubles than it's worth it. Not to mention that beating up a woman is pretty much shameful thing for a guy to do. Which leaves only this way to express my disagreement.
8. And how is this different from what everyone else is doing? Nobody likes inconvinience. Well, I might do things that I don't like, but don't expect me to jump with joy.
9. Nope.
10. Mother is the last person I'd blame for anything. I rarely admit the fault, because admiting fault is asking to be yelled at or being beaten and I'd rather avoid that. Life is already difficult as it is, I don't need to add guilt to that.
A link?
Submitted by Ru on June 2, 2018 - 1:40pm
Has no one ever think of mild intellectual disability. They can be stuck as kids in their heads, and unless it effects their motor skills, you would never know, unless they dress younger.
Error in the sentence?
Submitted by JOANNE YOON on August 17, 2018 - 9:49pm
"But it is a common condition, one which often results from an overly protective mother (or father)—a helicopter mom, or a parent who gives their son or daughter free range..."
That sounds like at odds with each other. I thought a helicopter parent was NOT the same as giving someone free range? Is that the opposite of helicopter parenting? Isn't it supposed to be helicopter parenting vs. free range parenting? It seems the sentence is saying that helicopter parenting IS free range parenting?
Helicopter parenting can be
Submitted by Lea on October 18, 2019 - 4:33pm
Helicopter parenting can be both - depending on the situation. I had a helicopter parent, and in my case, everything that I did was investigated and overanalyzed. However, by the same parent, all of my sister's mistakes were excused, covered up, and even rewarded. While she was heavily watched, it was basically as if each of her footprints were covered in golden dust as she was followed. Everything that was bad about her was twisted to seem as if the quality was good. For instance, she was a tattletale, but it was said that she simply "liked the truth". She was a habitual liar, but it was said that she "had trouble remembering things". When she failed in school, the "teacher didn't like her". When she didn't get awards in school (due to other students working harder), our helicopter parent took her to dinner or gave her a reward that was "better than what those students are getting".
Now, my sister turned out like the person described in this article. I turned out to be very independent.
ha ha ha I'm not sure if this
Submitted by Genius on October 3, 2018 - 3:26pm
ha ha ha I'm not sure if this writer is aware of this or not, but these are all integral traits of a good genius (I don't think she ever delved into). In fact, this list describes everyone to some degree. "Emotional maturity" implies that all peoples have a capacity to meet a perceived general standard of traits noted through the generations of which all find always suitable to sustain things. Life doesn't work that way, nor do people work that way. I could take any one of those who the writer describes as "emotionally mature" and batter the whole of that just by looking at them. Furthermore, overpopulation and the many forces that be make it quite impossible to separate your princes from kings in any culture. These are not natural settings free from intense distraction, corruption. nor a desire to experiment. Lastly, people are living longer. Think about it. You could have two 30-year-olds (calendar years) side-by-side. One is more like your average 20-something, the other...50. That's a 30 difference of age, inside and out. Think of the ramifications of your "immotional maturity" when tied in with physical maturity (that's actually a real thing here.).
Me Hubs is Difficult
Submitted by The Patient Wife on November 22, 2018 - 8:31am
Now what is right. My hubs doesn't do many of these but the 2 or 3 he does. Very very very challenging. I should get a reward for dealing with so much immaturity for more than twenty years.
Also incredibly stubborn, a bad role model for our kids.
That sounds like a millennial
Submitted by Reinaldo on February 8, 2019 - 4:34pm
That sounds like every millennial I know and most people from Venezuela (if not all of them). Feeling entitled and never accountable.
REEEEE, Millennials!
Submitted by October on July 12, 2019 - 1:56am
Yes, take zero responsibility and blame everything on the millennials instead, that will definitely convince us you are correct and respectable and not a moaning moron.
Some of these aren't really negative things
Submitted by October on July 12, 2019 - 1:53am
Some of these are painted as being "negative" but aren't really that bad. I'm not really understanding the author's view.
Why is it considered a negative thing to have a strong relationship with a parent? My dad is single and lives alone, and although he has friends around, I'm very happy he stays in contact with me several days a week, so we both know the other is doing okay. And yes, I'm closer to my dad than I am to my friends; he's my FAMILY! Usually family trumps friends!
Why is it considered a negative to "commit" to a large investment, like a new couch? If I'm going to spend several hundred dollars on a couch or a computer or something, you'd better believe I'm going to make sure it's a worthwhile investment ahead of time. I find this one ironic since it's a sign of being financially picky, but then you also criticize financial instability. Make up your mind!
Most millennials have few, if any, close friends. Welcome to the world of social media and holding down multiple jobs.
Most millennials are also passive aggressive. Because we were taught to be "polite" and keep our traps shut growing up by the same people who are now telling us we need to be more "direct." Weird how that works out.
It is not bad to be close to
Submitted by Lea on October 18, 2019 - 4:39pm
It is not bad to be close to a parent, but these people CANNOT make a decision without a parent. No matter how desperate the situation is, they will do NOTHING until a parent steps in. These people could not even leave a burning building without asking Mommy if that's okay. They are sick.
I am that
Submitted by Ben Still on September 17, 2019 - 3:08pm
Well written article. Thank you!!
This gives me quite a bit of insight into my own upbringing and the dysfunctions I possess based on how I was parented. Many of the points match up.
It sucks to be this Prince. Honestly its toxic, unproductive and aimless. Ive been struggling my entire life with this socially and now that I got into my 30s I see this being even more destructive. I cant even keep a job and cant decide on what it is that I want to do in life. Consumed my laziness, fear and self hate I bob up and down without any direction.
These mental patterns and constructs are very hard to change. Ive tried and still do Vipassana Meditation, which helps but its slow. Ayahuasca, Kambo, and Landmark, which also help to increase my sense for compassion, self awareness and deconstructing or remedying mental patterns. However its also slow. I am waiting for something to happen to trigger a big shift in my behavior, but it seems my habitual self is very resilient. The habits you mentioned in the article resurface automatically and if I am not aware enough in the moment when they come up I give into them, which scares me, because it gives me the idea that I will never rid myself of this poison in my psyche.
My question to you, Berit Brogaard, since you have written an article about the dysfunction quite accurately, could you also provide solutions to helping overcome these behaviors for those immature adults who recognize their dysfunction and the suffering it brings to them and others around them?
PS.:
Submitted by Ben Still on September 17, 2019 - 3:25pm
I am not on good terms with my mother. She was a single mom since I was 1 years old, she was 18 at the time. She always argued with my grandma due to my birth ruining her life as from the first moments I gained awareness. When we moved to Canada she started to argue with me, we could never talk openly, my behavior or speech or mannerisms would trigger an intense emotional anger. She resents me because I remind her of my father and I ruined her life and she should have had an abortion (thats what she said). Yet I was spoiled and given free reign.
hurt little girls
Submitted by christian on February 9, 2020 - 10:28am
this is so far to the immature side that a woman engaging in him would have to be dumb as f. If this is your limit, Berit, then you might not be as mature yourself. Up the limit
Literally describes my millennial brother
Submitted by Shark Shock on March 26, 2020 - 5:37pm
35-year old virgin, lives with boomer mommy and daddy still. The youngest of five. Helicopter mother. Mommy and daddy are strict evangelicals and raised him as a strict evangelical. He stupidly thinks the end of the world is coming like they all do. He has bipolar disorder and can't control his emotions. He's on meds for it. Leaves his garbage all over the place. Mommy and daddy say nothing to him about it. Literally lives on McDonalds and sugary kids cereals. Leaves pieces of cereal all over. Mommy and daddy complain but never say anything to him about it. He forgets everything. A book could be written.
Very Sexist Article
Submitted by Renjaja on April 14, 2020 - 9:28pm
For someone who claims that they have a Ph.D., I find this quite article quite hilarious. Obviously you can not differentiate between abstract and non-abstract.
You are looking at things from a very Westernised or American point of view. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a mother checking in on her son or vice versa. This in itself indicates strong and close family ties.
In Africa for instance, families are tightly knit and there is a strong bond.
Your article is also very sexist. Imagine if I were to write every line of what you said with "she" instead of "he". How would most female viewers feel about my rhetoric?
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