Thank you Doc! Great article. I am in the unfortunate enduring position of having to engage with someone who is consumed with this flaw. I struggle in orienting how I can best interact with this person. It's an uneasy place to be.

Guy Winch Ph.D.

We all make mistakes, and we do so with regularity. Some errors are small, such as, “No, we don’t need to stop at the store; there’s plenty of milk left for breakfast." Some are bigger, such as, “Don’t rush me; we have plenty of time to get to the airport before the flight leaves.” And some are crucial, such as, “I know it was raining and dark, but I’m sure that was the man I saw breaking into the home across the street.”
No one enjoys being wrong. It’s an unpleasant emotional experience for all of us. The question is how do we respond when it turns out we were wrong—when there wasn’t enough milk left for coffee, when we hit traffic and missed the flight, or when we find out the man who sat in jail for five years based on our identification was innocent all along?
Some of us admit we were wrong and say, “Oops, you were right. We should have gotten more milk.”
Some of us kind of imply we were wrong, but we don’t do so explicitly or in a way that is satisfying to the other person, “We had plenty of time to get to the airport on time if the traffic hadn’t been unusually bad. But fine, we’ll leave earlier next time.”
But some people refuse to admit they’re wrong, even in the face of overwhelming evidence: "They let him go because of DNA evidence and another dude’s confession? Ridiculous! That’s the guy! I saw him!”
The first two examples are probably familiar to most of us, because those are typical responses to being wrong. We accept responsibility fully or partially (sometimes, very, very partially), but we don’t push back against the actual facts. We don’t claim there was enough milk when there wasn’t, or that we were not late to the airport.
But what about when a person does push back against the facts, when they simply cannot admit they were wrong in any circumstance? What in their psychological makeup makes it impossible for them to admit they were wrong, even when it is obvious they were? And why does this happen so repetitively — why do they never admit they were wrong?
The answer is related to their ego, their very sense-of-self. Some people have such a fragile ego, such brittle self-esteem, such a weak "psychological constitution," that admitting they made a mistake or that they were wrong is fundamentally too threatening for their egos to tolerate. Accepting they were wrong, absorbing that reality, would be so psychologically shattering, their defense mechanisms do something remarkable to avoid doing so — they literally distort their perception of reality to make it (reality) less threatening. Their defense mechanisms protect their fragile ego by changing the very facts in their mind, so they are no longer wrong or culpable.
As a result, they come up with statements, such as, "I checked in the morning, and there was enough milk, so someone must have finished it." When it’s pointed out that no one was home after they left in the morning, so no one could have done that, they double down and repeat, “Someone must have, because I checked, and there was milk,” as though some phantom broke into the house, finished the milk and left without a trace.
In our other example, they will insist that their erroneous identification of the robber was correct despite DNA evidence and a confession from a different person. When confronted, they will continue to insist or pivot to attacking anyone who tries to argue otherwise and to disparaging the sources of the contradictory information (e.g., "These labs make mistakes all the time, and besides, you can't trust a confession from another criminal! And why do you always take their side?").
People who repeatedly exhibit this kind of behavior are, by definition, psychologically fragile. However, that assessment is often difficult for people to accept, because to the outside world, they look as if they’re confidently standing their ground and not backing down, things we associate with strength. But psychological rigidity is not a sign of strength, it is an indication of weakness. These people are not choosing to stand their ground; they’re compelled to do so in order to protect their fragile egos. Admitting we are wrong is unpleasant, it is bruising for any ego. It takes a certain amount of emotional strength and courage to deal with that reality and own up to our mistakes. Most of us sulk a bit when we have to admit we're wrong, but we get over it.
But when people are constitutionally unable to admit they’re wrong, when they cannot tolerate the very notion that they are capable of mistakes, it is because they suffer from an ego so fragile that they cannot sulk and get over it — they need to warp their very perception of reality and challenge obvious facts in order to defend their not being wrong in the first place.
How we respond to such people is up to us. The one mistake we should not make is to consider their persistent and rigid refusal to admit they’re wrong as a sign of strength or conviction, because it is the absolute opposite — psychological weakness and fragility.
Copyright 2018 Guy Winch
Why some People can never admir they're wrong.
Could it also be that they are ego maniacs?
fragile ego's
I find people in my life who never admit they're wrong have fragile ego's and weak self assurance. Its a cover when they wont ever admit they have flaws.
Ego maniacs?
Yes, a lot of them are. Most have a Narcissistic personality disorder they developed in childhood due emotional trauma. Fragile people deep down.
Common wisdom
What's the science here? "Stupidity is insistently", my Grandmother used to say. Or "It's the whole tragic in the world that stupidity is so energetic and intelligence is so shy", like Rousseau put it.
thanks for yr comment
""It is the absolute opposite — psychological weakness and fragility.""
...so... ARE WE GOING TO SNEER AT WEAKNESS AND FRAGILITY??? It is there for a reason. How are we going to work with it? Who is going to offer the helping hand? Are we going to sneer at him/her? Admitting a mistake is a skill. It needs to be trained. People who admit their mistakes are grilled by those who do not admit their mistakes. When you observe this spectacular issue, you should observe it from all possible angles. I do not mean YOU=somebody-who-mentioned-Rousseau, I mean the people who are eager to sneer at anything they do not know. Ignorance is the most dangerous enemy of any progress.
Psychology is not a science
Falls under the category of Humanities.
This hit home
First of all, this article was so well written using the examples, it made it possible for me to read to the end ... because I saw myself in there and it was triggering.
Coming from a dysfunctional and abusive home, my sense of self was seriously fragmented and I was not able to stand any form of criticism. Owning up to even a small mistake meant that my mother was right and I was the unnecessary burden wasting the oxygen ..., and so I never did. I was always (painfully) right and in control, making up excuses or blaming someone else instead of apologizing and finding out how to clean up any mess I happened to make. It took years of healing and growth to understand that making mistakes was OK and I did not have to be the embodiment of perfection to deserve to breath the air.
Owning my mistakes became a concrete demonstration of compassion and unconditional love for myself.
Hitting Home
Your post gives one some reason for optimism that people with similar patterns can actually change. Good for you, good for everyone close to you.
I found your last line interesting and very thought provoking—you found the process of owning up to your own mistakes an act of compassion for yourself. Can you elaborate on that at all? I can sense that the people close to me (large family of 5 grown siblings, plus an ex husband) are actually quite fragile, but it’s incredibly difficult to feel compassion for them when they turn their ire on me, ie, blaming me for things they have done (projecting), and the horrifying scapegoating that I have been subjected to.
I know that the reason these things happen is due to their own weaknesses and pain, but it’s so hard to feel compassion when they have hurt me so profoundly. I’d really appreciate any insight you can share.
Thanks again for such an inspirational post. Perhaps there is hope.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your post gives one some reason for optimism that people with similar patterns can actually change. Good for you, good for everyone close to you.
I found your last line interesting and very thought provoking—you found the process of owning up to your own mistakes an act of compassion for yourself. Can you elaborate on that at all? I can sense that the people close to me (large family of 5 grown siblings, plus an ex husband) are actually quite fragile, but it’s incredibly difficult to feel compassion for them when they turn their ire on me, ie, blaming me for things they have done (projecting), and the horrifying scapegoating that I have been subjected to.
I know that the reason these things happen is due to their own weaknesses and pain, but it’s so hard to feel compassion when they have hurt me so profoundly. I’d really appreciate any insight you can share.
Thanks again for such an inspirational post. Perhaps there is hope.
I'm glad someone asked this, because this is what I need help with too. This article helped me understand what's going on with my ex-husband.
I need to help my kids understand what's going in as he also had custody of them for 4 yrs and tried to alienate them from me.
Parental alienation
You have my sincere sympathy if you are or have been subjected to PA. I have been dealing with this for twenty years now. I don’t think there is anything more devastating, or at least in my life that’s true. It takes a truly sick individual to psychology abuse children and a targeted parent like this.
See Craig Childress on YouTube for some enlightening lectures (and links to his blog). He says it is not even a matter of child custody, but rather child protection. From my experience, I agree. The destruction is mind blowing.
Thank you.
Thank you.
My girls are home now and we are on the path to healing. It was a very ugly year long custody modification. They have only been home for 10 months, and he still has visitation, and legal rights to be at their doctors, hospital, and therapy visits.
Trying to help my girls heal has been a struggle for me, as well as trying to keep my momma bear temper in check each time I realize he's still hurting our kids and how much damage has really been done. I feel helpless in that a piece of paper tells me I have to let them go visit even though they don't want to. They are 13 & 14, we teach are kids not to deal with toxic friends but force them to see toxic family. :(
The line is also very fine that I have to walk trying to explain what's going on, without "bad mouthing" (read-stating facts) their dad and appearing to alienate him....
PA IS HORRIBLE!
PA
Be glad that you have a chance to repair the damage . My situation is the worse.. I didn't get a chance to repair anything. I have complex PTSD from my children's father and the alienation he caused. They are grown now and I'd always hoped there would be some improvement, but no. He actually still continues in every way possible. Subtle,. but they are already programed. The thing is if you ask either of them for just one particular example of something I've done, they have no answer. But very abused children love their parents. He also managed to estrange my mother and I over a few years . I could write a book on how he manipulates.. it is horrendous.
Replay to K
"I found your last line interesting and very thought provoking—you found the process of owning up to your own mistakes an act of compassion for yourself. Can you elaborate on that at all?"
If I had a magic wand, I would always make the right choices, say the right things, and take the right action. But that is not possible as I am in the midst of learning how to live well and love well, and I will inadvertently distress and hurt people in the process. And it is the same other people will do to me … as this is how “we walk each other home” (Ram Dass). Since I understand this, I can have compassion for myself and others. This does not mean I do not feel shame or guilt when I create a mess, or that I do not feel upset or sad when somebody else hurts me, or that there is no need for apology, reconciliation, or restitution. It is just that with practice I can reconnect with the compassion for what is, as we are all doing the best we can. And I developed compassion for others and the mistakes they make loooooong before I was able to do that for myself. The position you are in in terms of your family is not foreign to me. I actually found myself in several situations where my care and kindness were met with me being taken advantage of, being manipulated, gaslighted, and betrayed. That is how I learned about idiotic compassion ;-). I found this excerpt from a Pema Chodron book that explains it very well:
"The third near enemy of compassion is idiot compassion. This is when we avoid conflict and protect our good image by being kind when we should definitely say “no.” Compassion doesn’t only imply trying to be good. When we find ourselves in an aggressive relationship, we need to set clear boundaries. The kindest thing we can do for everyone concerned is to know when to say “enough.” Many people use compassion ideals to justify self-debasement. In the name of not shutting our heart we let people walk all over us. It is said that in order not to break our vow of compassion we have to learn when to stop aggression and draw the line. There are times when the only way to bring down barriers is to set boundaries."
from the book The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
So from Idiotic compassion I moved onto Wisdom Compassion, which actually requires certain fierceness (aka not putting up with any bs from anyone) which restores balance and healthy functionality in relationships. It can be tricky to say sometimes what is fierce compassion and what is one’s own ego defensiveness, so experienced teacher or guide or coach would be very helpful with that.
I hope some of this answered your questions!
Ego
Is anyone familiar with the teachings of A Course in Miracles? It's not a 'science' textbook, per se, but it does teach (comprehensively) how our identification with the ego works to our detriment. It also suggests a sequence of personal practices that help us transcend ego-thought.
Thoughts?
OMG your answer sure
OMG your answer sure resonated with me. I too wish I knew how to handle people like this who have such fragile egos, because they sure are difficult to live and deal with.
There's Hope
Hi K, I have a spouse that will deny with everything he's got. And when that doesn't work, he starts to attack and belittle, and ... well you get it. Having come from abuse from a previous marriage, and from multiple employers, I feel like I finally graduated from the abuse cycle. There are two things that work for me: Setting clear boundaries and detaching with love.
Example: I pointed out to my husband that we've lost some fish in the pond; there were only about 12 left out of 15. He said flatly "No, there were never 15 fish. There were only 12...maybe 13". No big deal except I can count. lol When I asked if he realized he had just insulting me by telling me I can't count, he denied he every said it. He told me it was merely a difference of opinion. I replied that I could count. Seriously. At which point he said "I can't believe you're arguing about fish." sigh I assured him that wasn't it. He continued to get nastier and nastier. That's when I whipped out my boundary. >In order for us to live together, you must be nice to me.
a question for you
Linda, I am very interested in your "recovery". Did you do it on your own, was there a light one day? Or did you have the help of professionals? "Owning my mistakes became a concrete demonstration of compassion and unconditional love for myself." How did you get there?
My brother always has to be right.
My brother hasn't worked in 9 years and still lives at home. He is 47 years old. He makes constant excuses as to why he can't find a job. He blamed President Obama for extending unemployment for 2 years as the reason why he stayed home so long after he stopped working at his last job which he said he could no longer work at due to the fumes at the construction site he worked on affecting his breathing. My mother also makes excuses for him one minute and then she is criticizing him 5 minutes later.
When I have a conversation with my brother he will frequently say, "I was right," after he makes some claim about something. I have told him over and over that it is okay to be wrong. I fear there is no hope for him our father died when my brother was 13 and it damaged him psychologically. He has never lived on his own and even when he has worked he took too many days off. I feel he is beyond help. When my mother passes on I fear he will go off the deep end. I partially blame my mother for being codependent with him. He is also a recovering opioid addict in treatment for 20 years on replacement medication.
I don't know what to do to help this man, I am afraid he will end up homeless or dead. He lives in the rental apartment of my mother's house but pays no rent and she supports him on her social security and a small pension that my father left. He barely leaves the house. Since they live in a progressive blue state Medicaid pays for his medication regimine. He says he will "lose his benefits" if he gets a job. He also says he can't get a job now because he has a 9 year gap of no work history on his resume. I told him to go and drive for uber or something but I am really at a loss as to tell him what to do. I feel if he really wanted to work he would get a job as the unemployment rate is only 3.7%. He actually feels he shouldn't have to work and thinks there should be "universal basic income," free health care, etc. to support him. He is a very lazy person.
My husband is a workaholic and is totally disgusted with this situation.
'
What about you?
Maybe your own issue isn't admitting your wrong but maybe thinking your always right about your brother.
your brother
You owe him NOTHING. I am sorry you are married to a workaholic - workaholics are self centered - did you know that? So is your brother. If you do not have any kids I suggest you exit that marriage and discharge your brother both at the same time.
Boundaries?
So... you just said you think he's beyond help, yet you're trying to figure out "what to tell him to do" and "how to help him."
WHY do you need to tell him what to do? Does he not have the knowledge or intelligence or resources to figure out what he should do if he really wanted a job?
Maybe ask yourself why you feel the need to correct, control, or "fix" your brother... and your mother's relationship with him? How does their relationship reflect on you?
It sounds like you just need to step back and get a little distance, set some boundaries and focus on your own actions and your own immediate family (husband, yourself, and children if any), and to let your mother and brother deal with the consequences of their choices on their own.
I know it may sound and feel "cold" to do this, but doing the "nice" thing isn't always what is most loving or best thing for the other person. Sometimes, backing off and letting them feel their consequences is the best, and/or only, way to help in the long run.
You have to believe that your brother and mom are capable of figuring it out and learning to change without you dragging them along--and if they are actually *unable* to do that, then all your advice and attempts to change them won't make any difference, anyway, right?
You cannot force anyone to get a job--or keep one. No matter how much you want to see your brother succeed, no matter how much potential you feel he has, you cannot live his life FOR him. And you can't nag, bully, or debate him into a different mindset, either.
I know it's hard to stay out of it. I used to try to "help" family with well-meaning (usually unwanted) advice, too, but they rarely took it, and somehow, they've survived without me. I've learned that we can't control other people, no matter how logical our reasoning... we can only control ourselves and our own response to others.
And?
So what? Worry about your own life, and stop nitpicking how your brother and mom choose to live their life .
unemployable
Ask your brother to write a book. Respect his life-experience. The book - however - must be readable - not just some moaning and complaining, maybe a satire would be useful.
about you're brouther
Judging from what you said about your brother he probably has depression and/or social anxiety. He probably makes the excuses because he doesn't trust that you would understand him if he told you the truth. To get over his problems he needs confidence. Which he could get from example talking about his problems with someone he trusts, which he won't do. So you might have to take him to a Therapist of some kind. Then asking to get him in to a group with people with similar problems could get him talking out about his problems. Which will ease the depression and anxiety and increase confidence. which might eventually allow him to get a job. But don't expect him to go to a therapist on his own you might need to follow him to the therapist since his social anxiety will make him fuck up otherwise. Like you'll have to wait til the therapist picks him up. Eventually he should be able to do this on his own trough. And to keep him from any relapses contact with people he trusts and he can talk deeply too should be kept throughout his life.
"Why Some People Can Never Admit They’re Wrong"
This is so enlightening! The stubbornness in these kinds of people has befuddled me, but I understand that it is actually a sign of how fragile they really are. They are to be pitied.
Pity=SNEERING AT SOMEBODY
is not useful. WE HAVE TO RESPECT THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCE.
Ignorance is the biggest enemy of any progress.
Resilient Societies
Great post. I wish this was common sense. People who feel worthless and powerless dig their heels in further when they can sense that the person attempting to get them to admit fault are taking some kind of pleasure in it, which only makes them resist harder. Cat and mouse. Drop the rope.
My mother lies the way the rest of us breathe. It's endearing and almost funny now but wasn't as cute when I was trying to rely on her when I was 12. Really mum? Other kids hitchhike? I feel like that's not true. Can I just have a ride? (No such luck.)
What I've discovered in my adult life, both through relationship repair with family and in my work in human service is if you bring compassion to every conversation it creates a natural space for truth to show up. If the person holding the defense can trust that you're not out to get them, whether their lie was very big or very small, they'll be more forthcoming. I'm not saying throw accountability and consequences out the window, but maybe put down the pitchfork. I think my mother admits things form the past now because I'm an independent adult who lives far away and wants or needs nothing from her, except her devil dog recipe. They only taste good when she makes them. I've tried. It's just not the same.
There is a place for our anger. Which is why god invented therapists. Anger is a healthy, appropriate response to the spectrum of lying. But confronting someone who already feels worthless with all our angry facts is only going to prolong the conflict. This applies to families, criminal justice, politics, schools, your grumpy neighbor.
I don't always feel like being nice. Sometimes I resent being the bigger person, having to model emotional intelligence to other grown people, but the alternative is fighting and I don't like fighting. So I choose love. Sometimes I choose a nap first.
There's a way to hold someone accountable that helps restore a sense of personal worth or power, as opposed to shaming or humiliating them. Compassion. Maturity. Understanding.
Which brings me back to my original hope; if all this were common knowledge and people grew up knowing how to meet fear and insecurity with understanding we'd have a more peaceful, resilient world.
Cue the doves.
Resilient
Excellent, useful and humorous content. You are so right and in a funny way.
Can’t admit they were wrong because...
Mr. Winch states makes the assertion that these people who can’t admit they were wrong when having made a mistake, do so, not out of choice, but out of feeling compelled to do so. What about when it isn’t a mistake? What do you call it when you have someone in your life who does something intentionally and then can’t admit to it? I believe the psychological term for this is gaslighting, now that I think about it, but I’d be interested to know if Mr. Winch would say they are still acting not out of choice.
Gaslighting?
I would say yes - gaslighting behavior - but what brings about that behavior? I think maybe passive-aggressive. My husband can be passive aggressive and not even know it. His mother was PA BIG TIME. You learn what you live. It's gotten better over the years. My husband does it when things don't go his way - fortunately he has a lot of very good qualities. I know he can't help it or is even aware of it.
Gaslighting
From what I understand gaslighting is the term that describes someone suggesting a different reality to throw someone of balance. The effect is to make the other person unsure of themselves and easier to control. And you are right that is very intentional and a horrible thing to do to someone. In the article though we are talking about someone who will never admit they are wrong. To do so would shatter them psychologically. To avoid this they actual make up a false reality that in there mind lets them remain blameless. They aren't trying to manipulate someone else as to protect their ego.
Have I got an example for you!
I've been trying to stop a hypnotherapy begun without my knowledge or consent, continued over my objections, in blatant violation of the perp hypnotherapist's ethics code.
I guess that the perp hypnotherapist is a perfect example of psychological rigidity.
Please help this mentally fragile hypnotherapist see that it is wrong, rather spectacularly so, and stop its unethical behavior.
One question.
Are you married to this hypnotherapist?
No. As of now, I'd have to
No. As of now, I'd have to have one of the people at PT who knows the being tell me which gender it is. Someone in my life let it in, and I can't stop it until someone tells me enough to, or stops the unethical hypnotherapist for me. Guy's editors know who the unethical hypnotherapist is because I've complained before, so if he were an actual decent human being, he would tell them to get on the unethical hypnotherapist until I am free. Since there's been some time in there, I guess you know Guy's not a good guy.
Maybe it's his psychological
Maybe it's his psychological rigidity.
Thanks for this explanation.
Thanks for this explanation. I'm guessing the same holds true for those who must always "toot their own horn." I have a relative who does this, along with never admitting mistakes or weaknesses, and rarely showing interest in anyone else's life. I find all of these behaviors extremely annoying. How do you suggest we handle such behavior? It's very difficult because I wouldn't be angry with anyone if they just admitted doing something and apologized, but to blame someone else or make ridiculous excuses does make me angry.
Admitting mistakes.
Hi, I had to read your interesting article because I live with someone I feel has a huge problem with this but it is a bit different. My son has ADHD and add, I have tried to reach him that mistakes are not shameful but how we often learn most. Thing is he is still very rigid and does not seem able to take responsibility. I have been told before that he will not lie but will fantasise. If he tells himself something happened a certain way he believes it, though rarely I've thought there has been a wobble where he almost cracked through. Be great to be able to help him with this as I think it brings problems he doesn't need and sometimes to others who know different, so is important. I should add though that he is high functioning and very intelligent. Do people on the autistic spectrum have really fragile egos when their egos are certainly less evident than their peers?
This article sounds like the
This article sounds like the behavior of every Trump supporter when faced with actual facts that contradict what the toddler-in-chief says.
Great piece!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This article sounds like the behavior of every Trump supporter when faced with actual facts that contradict what the toddler-in-chief says.
Great piece!
I was reading this and thinking the exact same thing but about the left...... I think nearly all Trump supporters will readily tell you that he is far from perfect and has certainly lied at times so I think your generalization of "every Trump supporter" is pretty far off base. That sort of a generalization also seems to go against one of the very things the left seems to be against, vast generalizations of grouping many together as if a few bad apples means all apples must be bad. Other than our borders literally being flooded at historic levels with people crossing illegally between points of entry, it seems that the state of our country is quite good right now with historicly lowunemployment, great economy, ISIS pretty much done, have not heard about any missiles flying over Japan from NK in quite some time, record numbers of new manufacturing jobs coming back (Obama said they will never come back). No collusion other than between the dems and Russia. All I'm seeing is the left freaking out more and more and I truly am dumbfounded by it.
Wow
This whole article just describes Trump. End of.
Connection to White supremacy...
I'm noticing more and more that White supremacists have this problem. They refuse to admit they are racist even when they CLEARLY are. Some of them are now even claiming racism as a VIRTUE. Anything to keep from admitting they're wrong. One Twitter user even goes so far as to claim those who disagree with her White supremacy and Trump worship cannot substantiate their arguments against her when they disagree with her and resort to name calling instead. Although I do not agree with insulting others or fighting hate with hate, I cannot agree with her that SHE is never wrong about Trump or about her skewered and limited views on race relations. It's really quite pathetic. I don't argue with fools. From a distance no one would be able to tell me from them.
Fragile Ego = Pathological Liar?
This is an interesting perspective. I suppose on some level I recognize the weakness in the person who cannot and will not admit he or she is wrong notwithstanding evidence—overwhelming evidence—to the contrary. I do not even like using the word "evidence" here because it implies some wiggle room for doubt or that they could be right, as remote as that might be.
They are lying and will not give an admission. That is what we are dealing with here. So I posit a question to you: What is distinguishable between a "fragile ego" and a "pathological liar"? At what point do we call this a disease or even "evil" for as Paul Gerhardt once said, " When a man lies, he murders some part of the world."
So what is the distinction?
Indicative of a Personality Disorder?
Thank you for the article, as it does resonate.
There IS a difference between a fragile ego and a large ego.
I have noted this behavior as a pathology typically as part of something more profound, say a "Cluster B" Personality Disorder. As such, when I see the behavior, I just disengage. Until the person realizes there is a problem and wants to address it, there really is nothing anyone else can do but mange any interactions. In my experience, most who exhibit this behavior do not want to acknowledge or address it.
It's been a growing problem
It's been a growing problem in my marriage for some time now. In my case, wife resorts to trying to accuse me of being the one who's wrong but unable to admit to it. I didn’t recognise it in the beginning. When I won an argument she still insisted I apologise for the distress she felt from her mistake (like getting someone gets mad at you for something that happened in a dream they had).
Now, she tries her best to make me believe I'm the one who can't admit I'm wrong. When a disagreement happens she tries to get me to doubt reality while insisting I apologise for the wrong she said I committed. Ironically, I'm the one who is constantly being accused of lying, telling an alternate version of events and living in my own reality where I can't admit I'm wrong while she is the one to always admit when she's wrong. If I bring up a past situation, instead of saying she doesn't remember, she outright accuses me of making the entire thing up.
We're on a fast track to divorce right now and I've even suggested we take some of our issues to a third party (pastor/counselor) but she adamantly refuses.
Excuse my typos. I was in a
Excuse my typos. I was in a hurry when I typed this.
Well, if none of you at
Well, if none of you at Psychology Today have pulled the plug on unethical crowdsourced covert hypnotherapy and admitted that they were wrong not to do so immediately, you can count yourself and your fellow PT scribes among the people who can't admit they're wrong when they're very, very wrong, Winch.
Right now, I'm about to get
Right now, I'm about to get stuck in one of the many life situations that's a pain in the rear anyway, but gets to be excruciating when the unethical hypnotherapist feels it needs to take a role in it.
Winch, please get your rear in gear and keep on your editors until they stop the violating hypnotherapist.
Understand that you become more and more wrong by the minute until you pull the plug on UCCH, for me and thus for the next potential UCCH victim.
You're in a profession that would ever sanction someone just coming along and hypnotizing anyone without their knowledge or consent. Thus, every member of your profession should feel that they are very, very wrong in everything they do.
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