Between defense mechanisms (especially projection), cognitive distortions, and the fact memory is malleable, people deceive themselves consistently and trust themselves implicitly. Although this is impossible to completely overcome, there is a way to lead a more conscious and authentic life. It begins with questioning thinking and mindfulness.
Insecurity implies self-doubt. It is associated with negatives; has been reported as unattractive; and there are articles and books aplenty to help one overcome it. No one tries to be viewed as insecure. Yet in the right quantity it is actually beneficial, and can be viewed in a more positive light.
Many accept, whether consciously or unconsciously, a meaning in life that is fed to them. Instead, each individual has the power, and the responsibility, to determine or decide what the meaning of life is. To do otherwise, to not consciously determine what you want your life to mean, would be against all existential thought teaches.
It may be all of the opportunity of choice that is detracting from happiness. Too many choices may lead to disappointment. When this is combined with the hedonistic treadmill, unhappiness ensues. But by understanding the aspects of choice that include opportunity cost, and then creating the meaning of your choice and mastering your thinking, you can create happiness.
As the viral video of a few years ago suggests, our self awareness hinders us from fully experiencing our existence, and possibly interferes with experiencing happiness. If we can, as Jon Kabat-Zinn suggests, stop "selfing", perhaps we can transcend the self and become happier.
Acceptance of reality (as opposed to creating myths about it) will lead to happiness. As such, accepting that permanence is a myth may lead to a happier existence in several ways: Embracing the present, accepting the changes in a relationship, and challenging cognitive distortions when a relationship ends.
Projection is when an individual attributes something within him or herself onto another. Basically, you see what you are. There are quotes that impart this meaning. Anaïs Nin stated, “We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” You can use this information to gain more insight and lead a more present life.
In several of my recent posts I have focused on choosing who one wants to be. This has been met with some question regarding genuineness. This post attempts to clarify the difference between disingenuous behavior and behavior enhancing authentic personal growth.
There are unconscious psychological aspects that affect one's decisions, and this is also true of casting your vote. Splitting, projection, in group-out group bias, and the idea that appearances affect perception all play a part in the decisions you will make in this election. Becoming conscious of these aspects may at least reduce some of the fervor and animosity.
Questioning why one feels, behaves, and is the way they are is beneficial. Positive change can also come from becoming more conscious. As one makes conscious and concerted effort he or she can make the choice to become more of who they want to be.
The search for the perfect partner is an age old issue. Perhaps, with the advent of Siri, the personal voice assistant in iPhones, Apple is tapping into the psychological desire for the perfect partner, and / or capitalizing on our increased social isolation.