What’s an Intrusive Thought, and What’s Me?

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Separating from negative thoughts is a major mental health challenge. When we feel sad or anxious, thoughts like “I am worthless” or “I can’t survive this" can seem very real. The kicker is that the more we think these thoughts and believe them, the deeper into depression and anxiety we can sink.

A powerful intervention for intrusive thoughts is to separate from them. While figures like Jesus and Buddha, and contemporary therapeutic approaches, have taught the power of separating from our thoughts, it can feel hard to buy into those lessons. We think, “These thoughts are who I am! These thoughts keep me safe. These thoughts help me be a better person!”

If this skepticism resonates with you, here is a different way of looking at thoughts: Our brain doesn’t process all thoughts the same way. We have one network, the central executive network (CEN), that activates when we focus on something. Whether it is paying attention to a friend talking, writing an email, or making a shopping list, thoughts that we choose to have come from the CEN. A second network—the default mode network (DMN)—is responsible for the thoughts we listen to. This is the inner voice that may talk at you all day, comparing you to others, making you feel ashamed for what have or haven't done, and more. Evolutionarily, it is more primitive than the CEN, so it doesn’t do a great job supporting you. It’s like an overprotective parent that takes things way too far.

If you tend to believe your self-critical, negative, intrusive thoughts, take a pause. They are automatic. You are listening to these thoughts, not producing them. You don’t feel worthless or think that you can’t survive—not deep down. Remember how many times you have had catastrophic thoughts, and then woke up the next day and they didn't hold the same power. It’s your DMN talking. These thoughts only get traction in your life when you believe them and own them as your personal viewpoint.

To separate from your DMN thoughts, here are three other ways to identify them:

1. They cycle. If it feels like your thoughts have a propulsion of their own, they are intrusive thoughts. In contrast, CEN thoughts are linear. You focus on something, and when it is complete, the CEN shuts down (unfortunately, allowing a window for your DMN to take the stage of your attention).
2. They are evaluative. If you sense a judgment to the thought, that’s the DMN speaking. Your CEN likes to collect data and analyze it. The DMN makes critical statements. For example, the CEN would say, “I better dedicate three hours to the presentation so I can make it great,” while the DMN would say, “You don’t know anything. Who do you think you are? Everyone is going to see you’re a phony.”
3. They include stories. The DMN sounds like a storyteller who specializes in emotionally laden, cautionary tales: “If I share my feelings, this person will hate me and turn everyone else against me. I'll have no friends anymore and I will die alone.” Or, “I don’t have any talents. I’m never going to amount to anything. No one will ever love me. I’m a failure and a waste.” These DMN storylines can create massive damage in our lives if we believe them and live according to them. The CEN is far better at recognizing all of the factors and interdependencies that create a situation. It can also identify multiple solutions to solve things. Think of the CEN as a bubble diagram, recognizing complexity and nuance, while the DMN specializes in dramatic fan fiction.

As you start to recognize the signs of intrusive thoughts, it will become easier to separate from them. We fall victim to them when we don’t know about them and therefore think that they are how we really feel and think about ourselves. But knowing their patterns, you might find an intrusive thought cycle starting and then have an a-ha: “Wait! It’s judging! This is my DMN.” The more you are able to label the DMN, the less likely it becomes that you will believe what it says. And when you stop believing what it says, you won’t go down those rabbit holes as much. With less rumination, you may feel less depressed and anxious. The repercussions are profound.

Identifying a thought is a small act, but a mighty one.

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