Embrace the Suck: Discomfort Can Build a Better You

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Most people treat discomfort like a threat—something to eliminate or escape. But in the Marine Corps, we were taught the opposite: Embrace the suck.

It wasn’t just a catchy phrase. It was a mindset. A way of life. And it turns out—it’s also good psychology. Back then, I didn’t see the wisdom in it.

Now, as a positive psychology practitioner and peak performance consultant, I understand why that phrase works. It isn’t just mental toughness. It’s brain science. It’s how we grow, develop, and reach our potential. And in a world that’s increasingly optimized for comfort, we need it more than ever.

The Comfort Trap

Comfort has become the new addiction.

We can order dinner, groceries—even a therapist—without leaving the sofa. We’ve been taught stress is toxic, that hard things should be avoided. That ease equals happiness.

But the truth? Too much ease doesn’t make life better. It makes you weaker. And that makes you unhappier in the long run.

Every time you dodge a challenge, you send your brain a message: I can’t handle this. And your brain believes you. Avoidance doesn’t protect your confidence; it erodes it. The more you insulate yourself from struggle, the more fragile you become. Your belief in your capability shrinks. Your sense of agency fades.

Discomfort, when avoided, doesn’t disappear. It just shows up later—as doubt, indecision, or regret.

It’s like your body. If you stop using your muscles, they atrophy. You get softer, weaker, more prone to injury. Your mind works the same way: No challenge = no strength.

Shielding ourselves from discomfort doesn’t build safety; it builds fragility. When we stop challenging ourselves we stop growing.

Brains That Struggle, Grow

Here’s what the science says: Your brain actually gets stronger when you do hard things. Seriously.

That’s neuroplasticity in action: your mind literally rewires itself in response to challenge. Just like your muscles adapt under strain, your brain does, too. Researchers like Michael Merzenich—one of the pioneers of this field—have shown that effort builds new connections, sharper skills, and greater mental toughness.

In the brain, the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC)—it is crucial for cognitive and emotional processes and integrating sensory information—lights up when things get messy. It helps you spot problems, push through conflict, and adjust on the fly. Think of it as your brain’s grit switch.

The ACC works with the prefrontal cortex (your decision-making HQ), which handles focus, planning, and self-control. The more you challenge yourself, the more efficient this network gets. In other words: doing hard things literally makes your brain better at doing hard things.

And here’s the kicker—the more often you push through, the more your brain expects it. Your tolerance grows. Your identity shifts. Discomfort doesn’t feel like danger anymore. It feels like progress.

That’s the real meaning of embrace the suck. You’re not just grinding for glory. You’re training your brain to rise.

The Pain and the Pride

When I was 18, I was training to become a Marine Corps Officer. I vividly remember how much I hated running the hills of Southern California. I couldn’t keep up with the rest of the Marines. My legs were screaming. My lungs were burning. My pride was hurting more than my body. Let’s just say, if you’re lagging on a run with Marines, people notice. And not in a good way.

I wanted to quit, to escape the embarrassment and the pain. But I didn’t.

Embrace the suck wasn’t meant to demotivate me. It was the encouragement I needed to push through and get stronger.

So I did.

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And on the other side of those miserable runs, countless pushups, and grueling rope climbs, I didn’t just get stronger. I felt something unexpected: pride.

Like a physical workout, mental challenges hurt in the moment but build you up over time. You don’t get stronger by avoiding the pain; you get stronger by showing up for it.

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The Goldilocks Zone

Of course, with any good thing, there’s a limit. This isn’t about masochism or proving a point. It’s about progress.

There’s a sweet spot. Too little stress? No growth. Too much? Burnout. You want the challenge to be just right—uncomfortable, but doable.

Psychologist Lev Vygotsky called it the Zone of Proximal Development—basically, the stretch zone. You grow best when you’re pushed just beyond what you can already do.

Like building muscle, you need progressive overload and recovery. Challenge + recovery = resilience. (Science. And common sense.)

So what does this mean in real life—especially if you’re not training to become a U.S. Marine?

It means setting meaningful goals that scare you a little (or a lot)—knowing the path is going to be hard, but also knowing that with effort, it has the power to change you.

What’s the one hard thing you’ve always wanted to do, but fear, or even just the thought of discomfort, has held you back?

• Applying for that promotion.
• Trying stand-up comedy.
• Writing a book.
• Working on a strained relationship.

Pick one. And start.

1. Shift your mindset. Instead of avoiding discomfort, expect it—and remind yourself it’s not the enemy. If it helps, slap a sticky note on your mirror that says Embrace the Suck (bonus points for the smiley face).
2. Do one brave thing a day. Take the uncomfortable step that moves you forward. Speak up. Sign up. Start Chapter 1. When it gets tough, remember: this is the work that builds you.
3. Find your tribe. Doing hard things doesn’t mean doing them alone. Surround yourself with people who challenge, support, and believe in the boldest version of you.

Avoiding discomfort chips away at your self-confidence. Choosing challenge builds it. And that choice, day after day, compounds.

Choosing the hard path isn’t punishment. Discomfort builds a better you; it’s how strength, pride, and real progress are built.

Easy won’t change you. Hard might.

So today, pick one hard thing. And get started.

And when it starts to suck? Smile. You’re getting stronger.

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