Why Traditional New Year's Resolutions Fail

Did you know that by the end of the first week into the new year, 77% of resolutions will have already failed (Norcross, 1988)? Yikes!

You might ask yourself, "Why bother trying?" Well, you should. Chances are you are currently approaching resolutions all wrong, setting yourself up for your first failure of the year.

You aren't weak or lazy—you just have a misaligned system that doesn't work in your favor. You can improve the resolutions you do make and set yourself up for success.

Traditional resolutions are framed on tests of willpower (Norcross, 1988), and this sets us up for failure because motivation always wanes with time. Early enthusiasm fuels so much for us—but not all of it suits us over time.

How often have you agreed to plans enthusiastically and then, when the date comes, you really don't want to go? You feel tired or unmotivated; the enthusiasm of a month ago faded by the time the event came around.

Or, how often have you set a goal to accomplish something like clean out a room, take a course, or even take a trip, but the enthusiasm in the beginning fades over time, so the room remains cluttered, the course isn't taken, and the trip never comes to fruition? We are masters of great intentions.

This isn't all bad. The same research that found that 77% of resolutions fail fast also found that 19% of resolutions are kept for two years (Norcorss, 1988). We rarely focus on the accomplishments we achieve. But doing so is how we can capitalize on making resolutions that stick.

Three DONT'S:

1. Don't make a life changing resolution. This is about scope. Biting off too much makes any resolution almost impossible to sustain in real life.

   Examples

   New Year New Me. I’m going to completely reinvent my life. I'll find a new career, live in a new city, find a new relationship.

   Gym Rat. I will work out every single day this year and get in the best shape of my life.

   Money Worries No More. I’ll triple my income, or I'll pay off all of my debt.

   Why it’s a problem

   These are all overwhelming and all‑or‑nothing. One setback can mean total failure, so it is easy to give up entirely.

2. Do not set shame-driven goals. Goals that are driven by self‑loathing, embarrassment, or the feeling that you are not enough are self-defeating.

   Examples

   I’m finally going to get my life together.

   I have to lose weight so I don't look fat.

   This year I’ll stop being lazy.

   Why it’s a problem

   Resolutions rooted in self‑attack rather than care or values destroys the self-belief needed to motivate change.

   Shame-driven resolutions can increase anxiety and negative self worth.

3. Don't set a vague resolution. You can't easily act on something that is fuzzy or unclear.

   Examples

   I’m going to be healthier this year.

   I’ll work on myself and be happier.

   I want better boundaries.

   Why it’s a problem

   There are no clear actions, timelines, or markers of success.

   It's hard to know what to do or where to start, which makes it easy to procrastinate and then abandon the goal.

Three Do's:

1. Meaning. This year, deepen meaning in one area of your life by committing to a regular practice that reflects what matters most to you

   Example resolution

   Every Sunday evening, I’ll spend 60 minutes writing, painting, or playing music.

   Once a week, I’ll take a solo walk without my phone to reflect on my week and what felt meaningful.

2. Purpose. Make a resolution that is connected with generativity (Erikson, 1950). Mentor, volunteer, or engage in philanthropy.

   Example resolution:

   I'll join an organization to give back. Some examples (there are countless others) are Score and Rotary.

3. Connection. Create consistent, small rituals with people

   Example resolution:

   This year, I will create one recurring ritual with others—a weekly call, walk, meal, or activity—and treat it as an important appointment.

Traditional New Year’s resolutions don't fail because people are weak or lazy, but because we design the resolution poorly from the start. Whether you set a life-changing goal, a vague goal, or a shame-driven goal for your year, they are all designed for failure.

Resolutions fail when they are anchored in fixing something wrong rather than focusing on meaning, purpose, or connection. Such resolutions tend to evoke self‑criticism and can be anxiety-provoking once the initial enthusiasm wears off.

Let's say you are right there with the 77% majority facing a failed New Year's resolution. Don't fall into the shame trap. Reframe.

Breaking a resolution doesn't mean you are a failure. It invites a reset in your expectations and your strategy. Get right back on the horse, as it were, and set your expectations and strategy to something you can manage.

Move away from punishing yourself or setting resolutions that focusing on fixing something; reframe to doing more of what you love, something that has purpose and meaning and involves connection with others. Such a reframe can help you to maintain your goal.

May your year be filled with meaning, purpose, and connections that bring you fulfillment.