The Remarriage Blueprint

How remarried couples and their families succeed or fail

Aging
Buyer Beware Part 7

Maggie Scarf on July 14, 2015

This is the recounting of how a smart professional couple got fleeced (legally) when departing from a highly regarded - but in reality, sub-standard in every respect - retirement home. It should serve as a warning to adult seniors who are contemplating a move into a retirement home. We did feel as if, like Alice, we had fallen down a rabbit hole. It was hard to get out!

This is the recounting of how a smart professional couple got fleeced (legally) when departing from a highly regarded - but in reality, sub-standard in every respect - retirement home. It should serve as a warning to adult seniors who are contemplating a move into a retirement home. We did feel as if, like Alice, we had fallen down a rabbit hole. It was hard to get out!

Aging
Buyer Beware Part 6

Maggie Scarf on June 19, 2015

We has entered the wing of a retirement home that was designated for "Healthy Seniors," and found that we were in a world full of bizarre surprises - all of them decidedly unpleasant. Bad food, medical care and fellow residents who were anything but healthy.

We has entered the wing of a retirement home that was designated for "Healthy Seniors," and found that we were in a world full of bizarre surprises - all of them decidedly unpleasant. Bad food, medical care and fellow residents who were anything but healthy.

Aging
Buyer Beware, Part 5

Maggie Scarf on June 10, 2015

We were healthy adults when we entered a retirement home, which had promised us "continuing care" as we aged.
But what we found was medical care that was virtually non-existent.

We were healthy adults when we entered a retirement home, which had promised us "continuing care" as we aged.
But what we found was medical care that was virtually non-existent.

Aging
Buyer Beware Part 4

Maggie Scarf on May 29, 2015

When making serious life decisions do not rely on the casual advice of friends. Check it out for yourselves and do so very carefully.
You will have a long time to repent any mistakes.

When making serious life decisions do not rely on the casual advice of friends. Check it out for yourselves and do so very carefully.
You will have a long time to repent any mistakes.

Aging
Buyer Beware, Part 3

Maggie Scarf on May 19, 2015

This is the story of a trusting senior couple who made a serious life decision on the basis of a friend's advice.
We had not realized that retirement homes are prone to make big promises and deliver shoddy services—at a high cost.

This is the story of a trusting senior couple who made a serious life decision on the basis of a friend's advice.
We had not realized that retirement homes are prone to make big promises and deliver shoddy services—at a high cost.

Aging
Buyer Beware Part 2

Maggie Scarf on May 13, 2015

How two intelligent senior professionals were taken for a very expensive ride

How two intelligent senior professionals were taken for a very expensive ride

Aging
Buyer Beware

Maggie Scarf on May 8, 2015

This is the story of how two healthy professionals in their senior years entered a retirement home - aka a "caring community" - and met with one bizarre surprise after another. We were actually in a poorly run nursing home, where the promises that had been made to us bore no resemblance to the services actually offered.
(part of a series)

This is the story of how two healthy professionals in their senior years entered a retirement home - aka a "caring community" - and met with one bizarre surprise after another. We were actually in a poorly run nursing home, where the promises that had been made to us bore no resemblance to the services actually offered.
(part of a series)

Parenting
Two Different Family Cultures United In One Remarriage

Maggie Scarf on September 17, 2013

One of the vast challenges for remarried couples and their children is the uniting of two very different family cultures. Each party brings a history and hundreds of familiar habits, rules and routines to the newly created step family.

One of the vast challenges for remarried couples and their children is the uniting of two very different family cultures. Each party brings a history and hundreds of familiar habits, rules and routines to the newly created step family.

Parenting
Special Parenting Issues Faced By Remarried Couples

Maggie Scarf on September 10, 2013

The parenting tasks faced by remarried couples tend to move partners into intense and opposing positions. Before the new marriage, the mate’s single-parent family system has probably become too permissive – for over time families with this type of structure tend to become lax and to bend the rules.

The parenting tasks faced by remarried couples tend to move partners into intense and opposing positions. Before the new marriage, the mate’s single-parent family system has probably become too permissive – for over time families with this type of structure tend to become lax and to bend the rules.

Stress
Understanding Your Stepchildren's Losses

Maggie Scarf on September 3, 2013

The fact is that the biological parent’s gain, a new romantic partner, is often experienced by his or her children as yet another in a series of family calamities. Remember that the stepchildren involved in remarriage situations have undergone early losses and often stressful transitions, such as a move out of the family home and to a strange school.

The fact is that the biological parent’s gain, a new romantic partner, is often experienced by his or her children as yet another in a series of family calamities. Remember that the stepchildren involved in remarriage situations have undergone early losses and often stressful transitions, such as a move out of the family home and to a strange school.

Marriage
The Impact of Insider/Outsider Forces in Remarried Families

Maggie Scarf on August 27, 2013

The first challenge remarried partners may face is what I call The Shocking Impact of Insider/Outsider Forces. This is the core challenge among remarried couples who have children from a previous marriage.

The first challenge remarried partners may face is what I call The Shocking Impact of Insider/Outsider Forces. This is the core challenge among remarried couples who have children from a previous marriage.

Divorce
Why Do Remarried Couples Face Unique Challenges?

Maggie Scarf on August 21, 2013

The rate of divorce among remarried couples is 60% — higher than the divorce rate among first marriages, which is 50%. But remarried couples who stay together through the first five years, have a much better chance of remaining married.

The rate of divorce among remarried couples is 60% — higher than the divorce rate among first marriages, which is 50%. But remarried couples who stay together through the first five years, have a much better chance of remaining married.

Divorce
Remarriage: The First Five Years

Maggie Scarf on May 13, 2013

How accurately does Johnson's jaundiced view of remarriage actually gibe with our present-day reality? Certainly, almost everyone knows many couples who appear to have truly improved their marital lot on a second or later go-around.

How accurately does Johnson's jaundiced view of remarriage actually gibe with our present-day reality? Certainly, almost everyone knows many couples who appear to have truly improved their marital lot on a second or later go-around.

Adolescence
The Sleeper Effect

Maggie Scarf on April 15, 2013

Happy stepkids can suddently become conflicted about their stepparents during adolescence and start to rebel and act out.
This phenomenon is known as the "sleeper effect."

Happy stepkids can suddently become conflicted about their stepparents during adolescence and start to rebel and act out.
This phenomenon is known as the "sleeper effect."

Relationships
Remarriage Is More Fragile Than First Marriage

Maggie Scarf on January 12, 2009

Are later marriages generally more successful and stable than first-time marriages? And, given that most remarriages (some 90 percent) follow upon divorce rather than death, do the disaffected ex-partners tend to make smarter, more mutually satisfying choices in a second or higher-order relationship?

Are later marriages generally more successful and stable than first-time marriages? And, given that most remarriages (some 90 percent) follow upon divorce rather than death, do the disaffected ex-partners tend to make smarter, more mutually satisfying choices in a second or higher-order relationship?

Relationships
The Emergence of the Marriage Gap

Maggie Scarf on January 12, 2009

Since the great social ferment of the 1960s, a number of alternatives to old-fashioned, traditional marriage have emerged on the social scene. Relationships that once were viewed as morally offensive - sexual partners living together before marrying; out-of-wedlock births; single-parent child rearing - are now both acceptable and commonplace. Couples enter wedlock with a more light-hearted attitude ("If this doesn't work out, I can move on).

Since the great social ferment of the 1960s, a number of alternatives to old-fashioned, traditional marriage have emerged on the social scene. Relationships that once were viewed as morally offensive - sexual partners living together before marrying; out-of-wedlock births; single-parent child rearing - are now both acceptable and commonplace. Couples enter wedlock with a more light-hearted attitude ("If this doesn't work out, I can move on).

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