Goals Are Not a Destination, They Are an Invitation

Source: Pixabay / Brittywig

We live in a culture obsessed with goals—Crush it. Manifest it. 10X your results. From vision boards to bucket lists, we’re told that success depends on dreaming big and chasing relentlessly. But what if that mindset is quietly stealing your joy?

I’m not against goals. I’ve pursued plenty of big ones myself. But I’ve learned that when we treat goals as the only measure of meaning, we risk spending most of our lives doing things we don’t enjoy, hoping for a payoff that may never come—or that feels fleeting when it does.

We need to be goal-agnostic, not goal-phobic. That means welcoming goals into our lives—but holding them lightly. It means letting goals guide us, but not define us. It means caring less about whether we reach the finish line, and more about whether we’re enjoying the run.

Here are three reasons why goals still matter—even if we don’t hinge our happiness on achieving them.

1. Goals Set Our Intention

I talk a lot about purpose. Not some grand, capital-P Purpose, but a more grounded, process-oriented version—what I call “little-p purpose.” It’s about the activities that light us up in the present and feel worth showing up for. You don’t need a goal to feel purposeful. But goals can help set direction.

Take my experience writing a book. My big goal was to get traditionally published. That goal sent me in a direction, but the real magic was in the day-to-day—writing, refining my proposal, working with an agent, and querying publishers. I genuinely enjoyed all of it. And because I wasn’t attached to the outcome, I could focus on the process. If I got the book deal, great. If I didn’t, I’d still have spent my time doing something that gave me energy.

Goals help us aim our purpose like a compass, not a contract. They get us moving. But they don’t have to be the only reason we keep going.

2. Goals Lead to Happy Side Effects

Sometimes the best outcomes aren’t the ones we planned.

Back to my book journey: Sure, I wanted to get published. But along the way, something unexpected happened. I met incredible people—fellow writers, podcasters, and editors. One connection led to an invitation to be on a podcast. Another introduced me to a writing group. And one day, I found myself invited to blog for Psychology Today.

None of that was on the original goal list. But all of it made my life better.

This is the underrated gift of goals. When we enjoy the process, our efforts create ripples—new relationships, new skills, new insights. These happy side effects are often more rewarding than the original achievement.

Go ahead and aim for something big. But don’t be surprised if the real payoff is what you stumble upon along the way.

3. Goals Bring Us Together

There’s something else goals do—maybe the most important thing: They connect us.

Writing a book wasn’t something I could do in isolation. I needed mentors. I needed feedback. I needed an agent and a publishing team. Over time, those collaborators became colleagues. And some became close friends.

Big goals often force us to reach out—to ask for help, to build partnerships, to lean on others. That interdependence builds community. It gives us a tribe.

We’re often taught to chase goals in competition with others. But in reality, some of the deepest joy comes from collaborating in pursuit of something that matters. It’s not the goal itself that creates fulfillment—it’s the people we meet, the support we exchange, the relationships we build along the way.

Should You Set Goals?

Absolutely. Just don’t make them your identity. Be bold enough to dream, but humble enough to adapt. Be focused enough to move forward, but flexible enough to enjoy the detours. Be goal-agnostic.

Because the goal isn’t the destination. The goal is the invitation.

It invites you to live with intention. To enjoy the process. To find meaning in the moment. To connect with others. To grow in ways you never imagined.

Motivation Essential Reads

The Psychology of "Meh"

How to Build Hope in Troubled Times

Go ahead—set that big, audacious goal. Just make sure you actually enjoy what you’re doing on the way there.