Combatting the Dark Side of Tech Overuse In Adolescents

“Ben gets extremely aggressive when I try and take his phone away. I am so anxious about how things will be as he gets older and bigger! —Tamara, mom of 13-year-old Ben

A 2023 Pew Research Center report found that 93 percent of teens aged 13-17 use social media, with one-third using it constantly. I will never forget my client Matt,* who would become physically aggressive when Jacklyn, his single mother of two, took away his phone. Matt, who had autism and ADHD, struggled with transitions, making it hard for him to let go of his devices. When forced, he would wrestle it away from his mom in frustration, leaving her feeling quite helpless. Things eventually escalated and a behavioral intervention specialist was contacted to come to the home.

“I can’t lose my phone; I have to complete my streaks!” —Sarina, 14

Today, it seems that everyone is in constant and even hyper-communication via their phones, especially teenagers, who often use apps like Snapchat to communicate through messages or "snaps." According to Common Sense Media (2023), 78 percent of teens check their phones hourly. Many engage in "streaks," snapping daily to maintain them, sometimes for thousands of days.

While apps such as these purport to be for friendship building, these streaks, reinforced by emojis that assess streak strength, often cause teens to feel pressured, fearing a loss of streaks might harm their friendships. Some even share passcodes when grounded to avoid a lapse in snapping, given the anxiety around staying in constant communication.

Parents have shared the lengths their kids will go to get their devices back or ignore restrictions. Kevin, aged 12, was able to get around his parents’ restrictions to play games while chatting with friends, while his parents slept unaware of what he was doing. Needless to say, his parents were at their wit's end with changing passwords, grounding, and other tactics to help combat this issue.

A few years ago, after hearing from so many parents about their child’s lowered attention spans and questions of whether their child truly had ADHD, I felt compelled to write about how attention spans are affected by the overuse of technology. In my research, I came across several studies that may help to explain how tech overuse was lowering their concentration, memory, and ability to delay gratification.

And it's not just social media apps I worry about. Recently, a high schooler told me that while ChatGPT is allowed as a tool in some classes, many classmates use it freely to complete homework and research papers. This raises concerns about potential declines in verbal and quantitative reasoning, executive functioning, and self-confidence.

Aside from the impact on learning, many of my tween and teen clients admitted to lowered self-esteem when scrolling through social media platforms. Studies echo the psychological impacts I have been seeing in my clients, such as reduced motivation, feelings of dysphoria, depression, and even thoughts of suicide.

According to a major study conducted by Dr. Jean Twenge (2017) that included nationally represented surveys and looked at over 500,000 adolescents, there was a dramatic increase in teen suicide rates, especially among girls, from 2010 to 2015. The study noted a strong correlation between the rates of suicide and depression with the rising use of smartphones and social media.

Julie Scelfo, a journalist and parent of three, says she “began noticing how those technologies adversely affected human experience since the moment they were introduced.” Her concerns centered around:

1. Cyberbullying

In 2007, Megan Meier, 13, hung herself in her bedroom closet after being bullied on MySpace. Megan had struggled with ADHD, depression, and weight issues. The cyberbullying escalated and she received several disturbing messages, from classmates and so-called friends. One such message—“The world would be a better place without you”—came from a boy whom she thought liked her.

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Anti-LGBTQ+ cyberbullying has been blamed for the suicides of Nex Benedict, Tyler Clementi, Channing Smith, Nigel Shelby, and others. According to the Trevor Project (2021), LGBTQ+ youth are at a higher risk of being bullied and more than four times as likely to commit suicide compared to straight and cisgender teens.

2. Compulsive Device Use

Christopher "CJ" Dawley, a bright and motivated young man, reportedly became obsessed with his phone after joining Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat at age 14. By his senior year, he was constantly on his phone, staying up late chatting and sharing photos, which led to sleep deprivation and body image issues, his parents said.

On January 4, 2015, while his family took down Christmas decorations, CJ went up to his room where he texted a friend "God's speed" and posted "Who turned out the light" on Facebook before taking his life with a gun. He was found still holding his phone, with blood on it, and left a suicide note on a college admissions envelope. His mother observed that he was still posting even in the last moments of his life.

3. Dangerous Instructional Videos

In August 2020, Englyn Roberts kissed her parents good night and went to her room. They found her hanging in her bedroom shortly after. Tragically, she had taken her life, seemingly by copying a video where a woman was simulating a suicide.

When Scelfo was asked by the New York Times to report on the growing rates of adolescent suicide in 2015, she discovered just how problematic social media can be to the mental health of youth. Reporting for HuffPost in 2020, she wrote that “suicide is now the number 2 cause of death for 10-year-olds in the U.S.” Reporting on these stories as a mother was heartbreaking, she says. She came to believe that it was inexcusable that “we adults have allowed children access to consumer products that are so toxic to their health.” She felt compelled to do something about it.

“I spent about two years studying tech reform and gathering experts on information disorder to find the best way to make change." This led to the formation of Mothers Against Media Addiction (MAMA), a grassroots parent group. Scelfo believes that media literacy is a vital 21st-century skill and recommends a careful, developmental approach to introducing technology to children.

Education and Advocacy

Scelfo told me how important it is to educate parents about what their children are viewing on devices and how it impacts their attention spans. She believes that children are regularly exposed to content that parents would normally not find appropriate.

“Like many parents, I would look around and see something has drastically changed. Kids are now staring at their smartphones for hours at a time instead of talking, laughing, playing, running around… I see the joy leaving them, I see them quiet, even when sitting with their friends, just typing with their fingers and swiping at pictures and videos. We all know something is very wrong, and as a parent, I am afraid for my girls to get sucked in as well, and for their childhood to be over at too young an age.” —A parent

Scelfo believes that increased smartphone use replaces face-to-face interactions, reduces tolerance for boredom, and reduces children’s prosocial and mindful interaction skills. Removing phones from schools, she argues, would ensure “a solid 7 hours” free from phone-based stimulation.

Many parents give their children phones to play with but may not always be aware of what they are watching. Children have, in some cases, accidentally stumbled upon salacious or violent content. In an interview with Gloria magazine, Scelfo recounted a story of a boy who had been “sharing videos of dead bodies and car crashes—even an execution.”

It is clear that technology and smartphones have greatly altered our lives. As adults, we must carefully consider the role we want these devices to play in our lives, and the lives of our children. Here are some steps parents can take:

1. Think about your own use and how you can set boundaries and limits for yourself.
2. Listen to your child and learn about the role tech plays in their lives.
3. Help your child find tech-free time in their lives (i.e. activities/play)—I recommend 30-60 minutes after school at least 2-3x/week outside of homework or mealtimes.

*Names have been changed for privacy.