The Science of Attraction: Simple Ways to Boost Your Appeal

What attracts one person to another, according to science?

Source: Frank McKenna / Unsplash

Science shows that attraction isn’t just about looks—it’s about how you carry yourself, connect with others, and highlight your best qualities. Small, intentional changes boost attractiveness and impact how others perceive you.

Whether you’re looking to turn heads, be more magnetic, or set yourself up for building meaningful relationships, these 10 evidence-based strategies will help you put your best foot forward.

1. Be Honest—It’s Sexier Than You Think: Truthfulness isn’t just a moral virtue—it also makes you more attractive. People are perceived as more appealing when they tell the truth rather than when they lie (ten Brinke et al., 2023). Authenticity fosters trust, and trust is foundational to attraction. Be yourself, express your genuine opinions, and avoid deception—it will make you far more desirable.
2. Exclusive Access Only—Confidence Attracts: People are more attracted to those who appear selective rather than desperate for attention. Demonstrating confidence and showing that you won’t settle for just anyone increases perceived desirability (Jonason & Li, 2013). Engage socially, but maintain a sense of independence—this signals high desirability and increases attraction.
3. Be a Good Audience—Find Them Funny: Want to increase your appeal instantly? Laugh at their jokes. A study conducted in the United States and Norway found that expressing amusement—giggling or laughing—when someone makes a joke significantly increases romantic interest (Kennair et al., 2022). Humor creates a sense of connection and playfulness, which makes interactions more engaging and attractive.
4. Master the Power of a Smile: A genuine smile can significantly boost your attractiveness. Research shows that a better smile enhances facial appeal for both men and women (Godinho et al., 2020). Additionally, making eye contact and maintaining clear, healthy skin further increases desirability. Smiling not only makes you look more approachable but also signals warmth, confidence, and positive emotions—all highly attractive qualities.
5. Have the Right Energy and Make It Obvious: Appearing energetic and lively boosts attractiveness. Facial expressions and body language that convey vitality, vigor, activity, and enthusiasm make someone seem more appealing (Zheng et al., 2023). Since videos capture vitality better than static images, if you’re using dating apps or social media, consider using videos instead of just photos to highlight your dynamic presence.
6. Find (and Express) Shared Interests: People are naturally drawn to those who share their values, interests, and perspectives. When partners see each other as similar, they experience greater attraction, as it reinforces a shared sense of reality (Chu & Lowery, 2023). Highlight commonalities in conversation, whether it’s mutual hobbies, beliefs, or experiences—it strengthens connection and makes you more attractive.
7. Subtlety Will Sink You—Clarity Helps: Mixed signals can backfire. People are more attracted to those who express clear, confident interest, rather than those who act indifferent or too aloof (Birnbaum et al., 2018). If you’re interested in someone, show it—subtle cues like leaning in, maintaining eye contact, and engaging in meaningful conversation signal attraction and increase connection.
8. Cultivating Kindness is Critical: Kindness isn’t just a virtue—it’s a magnet for attraction. Engaging in prosocial behaviors, such as offering emotional support, cooperation, and acts of comfort, significantly enhances attractiveness (Hansson et al., 2024). Genuine acts of kindness signal emotional intelligence and social value, making you a more desirable partner.
9. Your Tribe Enhances Your Vibe: Want to appear more attractive? Leverage the “cheerleader effect” by spending time with a group of people. Research found that people seem more attractive when they’re part of a group that includes at least some attractive individuals (McDowell & Starratt, 2019). This cognitive bias occurs because the brain averages facial features in groups, subtly enhancing perceived beauty. Surround yourself with positive, confident people to maximize this effect.
10. Prioritize Mental Health and Emotional Stability: Good mental health is a key factor in romantic desirability. Research shows that individuals who exhibit strong mental well-being are more appealing as partners (Boysen et al., 2019). Invest in self-care, therapy, and emotional growth—inner well-being reflects outwardly.

Conclusion

Attractiveness isn’t about fitting a rigid mold—it’s about embracing your best qualities, building confidence, and forming meaningful connections. You naturally draw others to you when you prioritize authenticity, kindness, and self-improvement. The most attractive version of you is the one that feels happy, empowered, and unapologetically yourself.