The Problem With Well-Being

Certain things get better with age. The coffee Tara left in her car console several days ago and accidentally sipped earlier is not one of them.

As members of Gen X (i.e. born before 1980), we have come to realize that certain aspects of our lives have shifted. No, not just our bodies. Our attitudes and feelings about what is important to us have also changed. These shifts have been glacial but, upon reflection, fundamental for our overall well-being.

Researchers have been studying well-being for decades. They have concluded that psychological well-being has six very specific components and, without realizing it, we have stumbled into many of these components in our lives.

Autonomy: Take this blog for example. We started writing “The Problem With” a year ago because we were researching well-being and realized we could directly benefit from our research by doing other work that made us happy with people who make work enjoyable.

Environmental mastery: We can acknowledge what we are good at, we know what we lack, and we are ok with both. Because of this, we have more space in our lives to learn new and interesting things.

Personal growth: The way we are viewed by others impacts us less. This doesn't mean we are immune to criticism.* Instead, we have a bit more perspective and find the quote, “Don’t take criticism from someone you would never go to for advice” offers a great way to think about things.

Positive relations with others: The pool of what matters to us has shrunk: our family, friends, and well-being. That’s it.

Purpose in life: The currency of our overall happiness is no longer productivity but quality. In our relationships, in how we spend our time, and in the work we do.

Self-acceptance: We are working on this. We make sure to take care of ourselves in ways we didn’t when we were younger. We workout. We take vitamins and go to bed at reasonable times. We go to therapy. We try to eat well. In general, we feel pretty great.

We are far from the only social science researchers interested in well-being. Findings appear in major mainstream outlets and entire journals are dedicated to the topic. Don’t worry, though, we get into the weeds so you don’t have to.

First the good stuff. Psychological well-being increases life satisfaction, positive emotions (joy, gratitude), and general happiness. Those of us who enjoy relatively higher subjective well-being tend to have longer lives, improved health, and — bonus — increased creativity. The same research also shows that increased well-being leads to more active and involved citizenship.

Increased well-being also helps us to better cope with stress, gives us a greater sense of purpose, and even greater confidence and independence! Others have shown that well-being increases resilience and gives us better coping strategies. It also plays a really important role in helping us deal with trauma.

Do you want your employees to have higher job satisfaction, or do you want to have higher job satisfaction yourself? Of course, you do. Research has shown that when organizational goals align with employee well-being, employee job satisfaction and mental health improves. That means greater productivity, fewer sick days, less turnover for firms, and a happier life for employees. Win-win! Unsurprisingly, researchers are beginning to look at ways artificial intelligence can be used to better support employee wellness.

But what about the problems? Well, they are bad. Like so many aspects of our health, access to psychological well-being is strongly influenced by economic factors, including both relative and absolute income, household finances, and access to things like quality housing, a kitchen, and electricity. Those facing job insecurity tend to have lower well-being and economic inequality may lead to decreased well-being both at the individual and societal levels.

This all feels unfair. Folks who struggle materially and financially also tend to struggle psychologically. It gets worse, too. Gender, age, and health all affect our well-being, with women, on the whole, being less okay than men.

Fairness aside, there are plenty of other downsides to focusing on well-being. When we solely focus on our own well-being, we lose sight of the needs of others. While we think that a little bit of selfishness is probably good for everyone’s self-preservation, we don’t want our readers to turn into a bunch of jerks.

Happiness Essential Reads

Does Money Really Make Us Happier?

The Hidden Key to Happiness: Purpose-Driven Communities

Also, the constant pursuit of happiness can make long-term happiness more difficult to attain because we adapt to our improved conditions. This is sometimes called the “hedonic treadmill,” and it can be even more difficult to deal with when we feel like our peers are doing better than us (cue the indictment of social media here).

The fact is, sometimes we are not okay and the pressure to feel like we are or should be only makes matters worse.

Finally, we might need to show more love for our negative experiences because they actually contribute to our well-being. Sure, it hurts to touch a hot stove but it also really helps you understand what is going on in the cooking process. We’ve made our share of awful choices and we are not strangers to trauma. Those experiences helped to shape and mature us, and we are grateful to be a little kinder and a little more empathetic because of them.

In The Power of Regret, Daniel Pink discusses how we can transform our regrets into a positive force for cultivating our well-being. We invite you to take a moment and think about the things you have learned from terrible experiences and consider what they have taught you and how those lessons contribute to your well-being now.

Tara, for example, will likely never absentmindedly drink from a coffee cup she has left in her car for an indeterminate amount of time again…

*If you want to see criticism in its rawest form we will share our teaching evaluations with you. Students can be brutal.