The Upside of Regret

Regret is as human as any other emotion, whether it is joy, fear, or love. At some point in our lives, we all make decisions we later question. Sometimes they are choices driven by impulse, fear, or incomplete information. Traditionally, regret is framed as something to overcome or eliminate, a backward-looking emotion that keeps us tethered to the past. But what if regret could be leveraged completely differently? What if it could serve as a compass rather than a cage?

Source: Parul Somani / used with permission

In her forthcoming book The Path of Least Regret (Forbes, March 31, 2026), Parul Somani invites us to rethink regret not as a source of self-reproach, but as a tool for clarity, compassion, and wiser decision-making. Drawing from her own life-altering experience of receiving a grave breast cancer diagnosis at age 31, enduring chemotherapy and a double mastectomy shortly after the birth of her second child, Somani offers a framework for utilizing regret in a very powerful way.

From Outcome Optimization to Inner Peace

Rather than urging us to make decisions based on success-maximization or ideal outcomes, Somani suggests a gentler and arguably more sustainable approach: choose the path that offers the most peace of mind and the least regret, regardless of the outcome.

Life, she reminds us, is inherently uncertain. While we can’t control outcomes, we can give ourselves clarity by grounding decisions in what we know, value, and feel at the time we make them. Regret, in this model, becomes a forward-facing guardrail, helping us future-proof our choices by aligning them with our present values.

As Somani writes, “We can’t eliminate future regret, but we can maximize future peace of mind by knowing we made the best decision we could based on what we knew and valued at the time.”

This reframing offers a powerful antidote to self-criticism. Instead of replaying decisions with the harsh clarity of hindsight, we can meet ourselves with self-compassion based on the understanding that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.

Three Simple Questions for Decision-Making

At the heart of The Path of Least Regret is a simple but profound pause in the decision-making process. Somani encourages us to ask:

1. What am I optimizing for?
2. How do I feel about my options?
3. Which path will maximize my peace of mind?

These questions shift attention away from perfectionism and prediction and toward intention and alignment. Importantly, the answers are not fixed. As our priorities evolve with age, experience, and circumstance, so too will our sense of what constitutes peace of mind.

This is precisely why the framework works. As Somani notes, its power lies in redirecting our focus from achieving a “perfect” outcome to making decisions with awareness in the present moment.

Source: Parul Somani / used with permission

Moving Through, Not Around, Discomfort

Change, by definition, brings discomfort. Grief work tells us that in order to heal, we have to feel. One of the most psychologically grounded aspects of Somani’s work is her insistence that growth doesn’t come from bypassing difficult emotions, but from allowing them to run their full course. Addressing discomfort, she writes, isn’t about moving on. Instead, it’s about moving through. It’s about integrating your feelings, not erasing them. This approach is substantiated by what we know about neuroscience and emotional regulation. When we pause to notice what we’re feeling, we calm the amygdala, which is the brain’s alarm system, thereby reengaging the prefrontal cortex, which is our center for reflection and wise decision-making.

Somani offers another trio of grounding questions:

• What am I feeling, and why?
• What is this emotion trying to teach me?
• What would a response rooted in clarity look like?

Just as The Power of Slow principles have always shown, the pause matters. Immediate reactions are often shaped by old habits and fears; thoughtful responses reflect our current values.

Expanding Agency Through Awareness

Somani also draws on Stephen Covey’s model of the circle of concern (what is worrying us and taking up our mental and emotional bandwidth), circle of influence (what we can impact, but not necessarily control), and circle of control (what we can control) to help readers discern where their energy is best spent. Often, what needs to shift is not our external circumstances, but our understanding of them.

Awareness allows us to recognize mental roadblocks such as fear, imposter syndrome, and outdated identities in order to meet them with intention rather than avoidance. But, as Somani is careful to emphasize, this is not a one-time insight. It’s a daily practice. It grows like a muscle we use every day. Transformation requires repetition, vigilance, and the courage to pause, reflect, and reengage over and over again. This approach becomes a lifestyle decision, one in which regret holds less sway over us.

Decision-Making Essential Reads

Why “Do Your Own Research” Is Bad Advice

Why People Regret Decisions They Think About the Longest

Choosing the Most Honest Path

Ultimately, The Path of Least Regret is not about choosing what’s easy. It’s about choosing what’s honest. It’s about honoring your values, protecting your peace, and aligning your decisions with your deeper sense of self.

When regret is no longer treated as a backward-looking burden but as a forward-facing guide, it becomes one of our most valuable emotional tools. Not because it guarantees the “right” outcome, but because it allows us to live with greater clarity, confidence, and compassion for ourselves, whatever the outcome may be.