The Polyamorists Next Door

Marriage

Polygamy, Group Marriage, Polyamory, Relationship Anarchy

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on May 31, 2023

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships, like polygamy, group marriage, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, focus on the group as the center of the relationship.

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships, like polygamy, group marriage, polyamory, and relationship anarchy, focus on the group as the center of the relationship.

Relationships

3 Ways That a Couple Can Be Polyamorous

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on April 27, 2023

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships—swinging, monogamish, and hierarchical polyamory—center on a primary couple. That is great for some and offensive to others.

Some consensually nonmonogamous relationships—swinging, monogamish, and hierarchical polyamory—center on a primary couple. That is great for some and offensive to others.

Relationships

Consensual Nonmonogamies Focused on Individuals

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on March 9, 2023

Consensually nonmonogamous relationships take many forms and can be confusing. What are solo poly and relationship anarchy?

Consensually nonmonogamous relationships take many forms and can be confusing. What are solo poly and relationship anarchy?

Relationships

Skewed Views of Consensual NonMonogamies

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on February 20, 2023

Why do some people erroneously assume that all consensually nonmonogamous relationships are malfunctioning? This post explores several reasons for the common phenomenon.

Why do some people erroneously assume that all consensually nonmonogamous relationships are malfunctioning? This post explores several reasons for the common phenomenon.

Career

Shared Carework in Polyamorous Families

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on February 2, 2023

How do people in polyamorous families share the work of caring for each other, especially when they are children, disabled, ill, old, or dying?

How do people in polyamorous families share the work of caring for each other, especially when they are children, disabled, ill, old, or dying?

Relationships

Why Many Young People See Polyamory as a Reasonable Strategy

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on December 28, 2022

Have young people really ruined monogamy? Or are they just adapting to shifting circumstances?

Have young people really ruined monogamy? Or are they just adapting to shifting circumstances?

Neurodiversity

Neurodiversity and Relationship Variation

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on November 28, 2022

An exploration of why neurodiverse people might be especially interested in BDSM and forms of CNM.

An exploration of why neurodiverse people might be especially interested in BDSM and forms of CNM.

Sex

Can Someone Be Both Asexual and Polyamorous?

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on November 1, 2022

Some asexual people have polyamorous relationships, and, for others, it is quite unappealing. This post explains asexuality and explores its relationship with polyamory.

Some asexual people have polyamorous relationships, and, for others, it is quite unappealing. This post explains asexuality and explores its relationship with polyamory.

Resilience

What Makes a Resilient Throuple?

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on October 7, 2022

Even though many people anticipate a romantic threesome to include a man and two women, most resilient triads do not fit that form.

Even though many people anticipate a romantic threesome to include a man and two women, most resilient triads do not fit that form.

Relationships

Common Interaction Patterns Among 3 People

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on September 27, 2022

Are you interacting in a group of three? Check out these common dynamics among three people.

Are you interacting in a group of three? Check out these common dynamics among three people.

Sex

The Truth About Threesomes, Triads, and Throuples

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on August 10, 2022

Sexual relationships among three people fascinate pop culture and are popular among those in consensual non-monogamous relationships with a range of outcomes.

Sexual relationships among three people fascinate pop culture and are popular among those in consensual non-monogamous relationships with a range of outcomes.

Relationships

For Many Polyamorous Relationships, Year 1 Is the Hardest

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on June 8, 2022

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

Relationships

APA Division 44 Addresses Polyamory

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on May 16, 2022

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.

Relationships

Impacts of Internet Communication on Polyamorous Communities

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on May 5, 2022

This third blog post in a series explores the third wave of consensual nonmonogamies in the United States, beginning in the 1990s with the advent of Internet communications.

This third blog post in a series explores the third wave of consensual nonmonogamies in the United States, beginning in the 1990s with the advent of Internet communications.

Relationships

The Second Wave of Consensual Nonmonogamy in the U.S.

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on April 27, 2022

The second wave of consensual nonmonogamy was highlighted by the influence of swinging, group marriage, and communes.

The second wave of consensual nonmonogamy was highlighted by the influence of swinging, group marriage, and communes.

Marriage

A Select History of Consensual Nonmonogamies in the US

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on April 12, 2022

This first post in a series of three explores the roots of CNM and polyamory in 19th-century anarchy, feminism, and transcendentalism.

This first post in a series of three explores the roots of CNM and polyamory in 19th-century anarchy, feminism, and transcendentalism.

Marriage

Managing Information About Consensual Non-Monogamy in Children's Social Worlds

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on January 26, 2022

Some families can be open about their polyamorous relationships, while others have to work to manage that information. Here's how to let kids take the lead.

Some families can be open about their polyamorous relationships, while others have to work to manage that information. Here's how to let kids take the lead.

Relationships

How to Talk to Children about Polyamory

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on January 2, 2022

Polyamorous parents often must consider what to say to their children about their relationship style. These tips can help that conversation go smoothly.

Polyamorous parents often must consider what to say to their children about their relationship style. These tips can help that conversation go smoothly.

Relationships

Should You Come Out to Your Kids if You Are Polyamorous?

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on November 15, 2021

When should parents come out to their kids as polyamorous, and when is it better to keep that information private?

When should parents come out to their kids as polyamorous, and when is it better to keep that information private?

Sex

Sexual Variety for Polyamorists and Kinksters

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE on October 8, 2021

The fourth in a series on the intersections between polyamory and BDSM, this post explains the sexual interactions that polyamorists and kinksters are able to negotiate.

The fourth in a series on the intersections between polyamory and BDSM, this post explains the sexual interactions that polyamorists and kinksters are able to negotiate.