The Polyamorists Next Door

Exploring the world of consensual non-monogamy

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE

For Many Polyamorous Relationships, Year 1 Is the Hardest

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

APA Division 44 Addresses Polyamory

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.

Impacts of Internet Communication on Polyamorous Communities

This third blog post in a series explores the third wave of consensual nonmonogamies in the United States, beginning in the 1990s with the advent of Internet communications.

The Second Wave of Consensual Nonmonogamy in the U.S.

The second wave of consensual nonmonogamy was highlighted by the influence of swinging, group marriage, and communes.

A Select History of Consensual Nonmonogamies in the US

This first post in a series of three explores the roots of CNM and polyamory in 19th-century anarchy, feminism, and transcendentalism.

Managing Information About Consensual Non-Monogamy in Children's Social Worlds

Some families can be open about their polyamorous relationships, while others have to work to manage that information. Here's how to let kids take the lead.

How to Talk to Children about Polyamory

Polyamorous parents often must consider what to say to their children about their relationship style. These tips can help that conversation go smoothly.

Should You Come Out to Your Kids if You Are Polyamorous?

When should parents come out to their kids as polyamorous, and when is it better to keep that information private?

Image: Silver handcuffs with keys on black background

Sexual Variety for Polyamorists and Kinksters

The fourth in a series on the intersections between polyamory and BDSM, this post explains the sexual interactions that polyamorists and kinksters are able to negotiate.

Defining Consent in BDSM and Multiple-Partner Relationships

Both polyamorous and BDSM communities place great importance on consent.

3 Things Kinksters and Polyamorists Value Highly

Exploring the shared polyamorous and kinkster values of negotiation, honesty, and self knowledge.

What Polyamorists and BDSM Participants Have in Common

This first post in a series about the intersections between polyamory and BDSM explains some of their shared personal, social, and community characteristics.

Scenes of Mundane Polyamorous Life

A new photography project makes clear how crucial emotional intimacy is for successful consensual nonmonogamy.

Polysaturation: When Polyamorous People Have Enough Partners

A review of the words polyamorous people make up to describe their relationships, and the research behind polysaturation.

Is Polyamory Right for You or Not?

Who's satisfied in consensual nonmonogamous relationships and who isn't? This post — and a new relationship test — will help you find out.

Discovering the Women Who Date Couples

Adventures in critical thinking through sex-positive research.

How Can Nonmonogamous Couples Improve Their Dating Lives?

How can couples who are interested in consensual nonmonogamy date? Here are a few tips for how they can expand their dating pool and treat their partners right.

Meet the Couples That Date Single Women

Why it can be so challenging for couples to find a woman who wants to have a threesome with them.

Where Therapists and Counselors Can Learn About Polyamory

Counselors and therapists need training in serving clients in open relationships. Here's where to find that training.

Legal Protections for People in Polyamorous Relationships

This post looks at recent legal changes protecting people in CNM relationships, including the Sommerville, MA city council recognition of CNM domestic partnerships.

6 Tips for CNM Relationship Maintenance During the Pandemic

Tips from experts on how to stay sane and happy in a consensually non-monogamous relationship during a pandemic.

Social Power and Quarantine in Polyamorous Relationships

This second post in a series on polyamory and COVID-19 looks at social power and hierarchy associated with visiting during quarantine.

Polyamorous During the Pandemic

The advantages and disadvantages of being in a polyamorous relationship often depend on living together or not.

Monogamous by Orientation

The fourth in a series in defense of monogamy, this blog explains how some people are monogamous by orientation and could never be truly comfortable in a CNM relationship.

When Consensual Non-Monogamy Won't Work for Monogamous Folks

Why consensual non-monogamy may not be viable for some people.

When Can Opening a Heteroflexible Monogamous Relationship Work?

Four tips that can help a heteroflexible couple open their previously monogamous relationship.

Relationship Broken, Add More People?

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is catastrophic for ailing monogamous relationships. Here's what to do instead.

New Relationship Energy: What It Is & How to Deal With It

New Relationship Energy can happen with anyone freshly infatuated with a new crush. People in CNM relationships must also give long-term partners attention.

Long-Distance Polyamorous Relationships

How do people end up in long-distance polyamorous relationships, and how do they sustain them? Find out here!

Personal Growth Through Consensual NonMonogamies

How can consensual nonmonogamy act as a pathway to personal growth?

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