The Polyamorists Next Door

Exploring the world of consensual non-monogamy

Elisabeth A. Sheff Ph.D., CSE

6 Tips for CNM Relationship Maintenance During the Pandemic

Tips from experts on how to stay sane and happy in a consensually non-monogamous relationship during a pandemic.

Social Power and Quarantine in Polyamorous Relationships

This second post in a series on polyamory and COVID-19 looks at social power and hierarchy associated with visiting during quarantine.

Polyamorous During the Pandemic

The advantages and disadvantages of being in a polyamorous relationship often depend on living together or not.

Monogamous by Orientation

The fourth in a series in defense of monogamy, this blog explains how some people are monogamous by orientation and could never be truly comfortable in a CNM relationship.

When Consensual Non-Monogamy Won't Work for Monogamous Folks

Why consensual non-monogamy may not be viable for some people.

When Can Opening a Heteroflexible Monogamous Relationship Work?

Four tips that can help a heteroflexible couple open their previously monogamous relationship.

Relationship Broken, Add More People?

Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is catastrophic for ailing monogamous relationships. Here's what to do instead.

New Relationship Energy: What It Is & How to Deal With It

New Relationship Energy can happen with anyone freshly infatuated with a new crush. People in CNM relationships must also give long-term partners attention.

Long-Distance Polyamorous Relationships

How do people end up in long-distance polyamorous relationships, and how do they sustain them? Find out here!

Personal Growth Through Consensual NonMonogamies

How can consensual nonmonogamy act as a pathway to personal growth?

Sexuality in Polyamorous Relationships

What are the different levels of sexuality in polysexual, polyfidelitous, polyamorous, and polyaffective relationships?

Updated Estimate of Number of Non-Monogamous People in U.S.

How many people in the United States have consensually non-monogamous relationships?

Having a Baby in a Polyamorous Relationship

A concerned reader asks for advice on how to manage having a baby while in a polyamorous relationship, and Dr. Eli gives six suggestions.

Do Kids from Polyamorous Families Become Poly Themselves?

Why most kids raised in polyamorous families do not identify as poly themselves—at least not yet.

Delighting in Your Beloveds’ Other Lovers

Metamours—a partner's partners—need love too!

Fidelity in Polyamorous Relationships

Ever wonder how people in consensually non-monogamous relationships can have fidelity with each other?

Against Compulsory (Non)Monogamy

Defining compulsory monogamy and explaining how it, and the backlash of compulsory non-monogamy, can make people miserable because one size does not fit all.

Cultivating Compersion: The Magic of Feeling Joy for Others

Finding joy in others' success can be liberating, but sometimes it means facing jealousy first. Using the polyamorous tool of compersion all sorts of people can create more joy.

Relationship Anarchy, Polyaffectivity, and Chosen Families

Polyaffective relationships and relationship anarchy, their similarities, and how they can sustain commitment without conventional norms.

Types of Polyaffective Relationships: Nonsexual Intimacy

This blog gives more details about polyaffective relationships among adults, between kids and adults, and the larger polycule with extended family.

What Is the Difference Between Polyamory and Polygamy?

There are five main ways to distinguish these similar-sounding types of relationships.

Myths About Polyamory

Six common myths about polyamory, from putting people at higher risk for sexually transmitted infections to being bad for women.

Polyagony: When Polyamory Goes Really Wrong

This blog introduces Jillian Deri's book Love's Refraction, explains her idea of polyagony, and lists five ways that poly folks experience polyagony.

African American Polyamorous Leaders

This blog introduces a new cadre of African American polyamory community leaders.

PolyProfessionals: Finding Polyamorous Assistance

Why would people need a professional who is knowledgeable about polyamory, and where would seekers find such an expert?

5 Reasons Why Polyamorous Families are Reluctant to Be on TV

This blog explains five reasons why polyamorous folks might not want to be on reality television and a few of the remedies that might help poly folks feel safer about being on TV.

Polyamory, Consensual Non-Monogamy, or AltSex?

What is the right word for people in multiple relationships at the same time who all know about each other? This blog explores the various labels and suggests one to use.

Community Responses to Consent Violations

This second blog in a series about consent violations in consensually non-monogamous relationships examines community responses to infractions against community members.

Consent Violations in Consensual Non-Monogamy

Why are consent violations inevitable in CNM relationships, and what can people in those relationships do about them?

Multiple Parents Legally?

This blog explains the Rule of Two parents and the legal moves in the United States to allow more than two legal parents.

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