The Philosopher's Diaries

Thoughts on persons and things.

Iskra Fileva Ph.D.

Stoicism as a Fad and a Philosophy

Popularizers of Stoicism are said to sell the teaching "as a life hack, without apology." Is Stoicism a life hack? If not, why is it trending?

What Do Adult Children Owe Their Parents?

Some parents do a lot for their children. What do the adult children of such parents owe them? Is there a debt of gratitude?

What Draws Us to the Body of the Person We Love?

Love and physical attraction.

Lovers Who Lower Our Self-Esteem

Sometimes, we find ourselves drawn to people who undermine us and erode our self-confidence. Why?

When Therapy Is Unsuccessful

Many who try therapy say that the process does nothing for them. What leads to therapy failures, and how can a client find success?

Is Social Media Validation an Illusion?

When you are looking for social validation, the reactions of two thousand strangers online may have more weight than those of the two friends you are having coffee with.

Our Inner Poet

Why we know so little about the inner lives of others.

Can You Split the Mind by Splitting the Brain?

Nobel Prize-winning research has purported to show that when you split a person's brain in two, you split the mind. New research casts doubt on those findings.

Is the Meaning of Life an Illusion?

Jean-Paul Sartre once suggested that the moment we realize we are not immortal, we see the meaning of life as an illusion. But perhaps, that's not quite right.

The Need to Be Always Right

Some people need to be right always. They won’t admit defeat even in the face of compelling contrary evidence. But what does a person achieve by insisting on being always right?

After Failure

Some people find failure so painful and unpleasant that they never undertake a project when failure is a probable outcome. Why?

Why We Say Hurtful Things We Don't Mean

Occasionally, we say hurtful things we don't really mean. We wish we could take it all back but cannot. Yet perhaps, while the past cannot be changed, something can be done.

Are We Afraid of Freedom?

We often avoid thinking and choosing for ourselves. Instead, we adopt other people's opinions and ways of life. Why?

How to Be Alone with Yourself

Solitude can feel like liberation or captivity depending on our mental state.

I Procrastinated by Writing This Post

I may be procrastinating in writing this post. You may be procrastinating in reading it. Should both of us be doing something else instead?

Would You Change Your Past if You Could?

We often come to embrace the bad parts of our past. For instance, in an interview, a Portland biker reports feeling grateful for an accident that nearly killed him. Why?

Where Suppressed Emotions Go

Sometimes, a terrible thing happens to us, but we go on as if nothing happened. We do not allow ourselves to feel. What happens to those emotions?

How People Become Pretentious

We profess to dislike pretentiousness and to prefer authenticity. But often, we do not discourage pretentiousness and may do the opposite: adopt the mannerisms of the snobs.

What Is a Child?

We imagine that children do not belong to the same species as adults -- that they have needs and desires different from ours. But a child's psychology is rather like our own.

Why We Choose to Act Against Our Own Interests

We do not always act in our own interest. There are forces in the human psyche, inner demons, that may propel us to act contrary to reason. What are they? Why do we have them?

Heroic, Unkind Love

Sometimes, people who love each other are prepared to die for each other, but can't find a kind word to say in the right moment. Why?

Why So Many Seek Approval from People Who Don't Value Them

We sometimes fail to appreciate the love and friendship of people who value us. Instead, we seek the approval of those less interested in us and our company.

The Gifts of Sadness

Perhaps, one of the best things about visiting a place to which we know we will never return is the sadness we experience when we leave.

Under the Spell of a False Love

Sometimes, we get involved with the wrong person not due to illusions about the other, but rather, because we forget who we ourselves are. We look in the mirror and see a stranger.

How Childhood Trauma Saps Joy and the Ability to Cope

It is sometimes said that a bad childhood damages us. What is true, rather, is that it may prevent us from developing a healthy self, one with an inner reservoir of joy.

Does AI Have to Be Perfect to Be Good Enough?

We favor human judgment over the judgment of AI even when we have strong evidence that AI vastly outperforms humans. Why?

Is Getting Married a Bad Deal for Women?

It is sometimes said that marriage does not increase — and perhaps, that it decreases — women’s happiness. But is that true?

Why Some Parents Envy Their Children

Elsa's mother blamed Elsa for coming between her and the father and mocked her for being "daddy's little girl."

How Many Personalities Do We Have?

We are fragmented beings. You may be a perfectionist cook but a sloppy dresser; practice the violin for 10 hours a day but floss irregularly. What are our personalities, then?

Is Badness Attractive?

There is a trope in popular culture: Women, it is said, like “bad boys.” But do they?

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