The free person is not the angry loner, willfully standing apart from those who would sap his energies. Nor is she the enthusiastic manager of others, who directs and controls their behaviors - and reaps the satisfactions of her manipulations. Free people are those who recognize the legitimacy of other people’s participation in their own lives
We need rituals because they make plain the ground-rules by which humans operate. But those rules should be seen less as confinements than as opportunities to communicate with others and to declare our distinctive places in the human community.