10 Subtle That Signs Someone Isn't Trustworthy

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Trust is the emotional currency of human connection. We extend it instinctively—to friends, coworkers, romantic partners—hoping that what we give will be respected, protected, and returned.

But when trust is misplaced, the damage can run deep: fractured relationships, lost opportunities, even emotional or financial harm.

The trouble is, untrustworthy people rarely broadcast their intentions. They don’t show up wearing a villain's cape or announce that they’re about to violate your confidence. Instead, they operate through subtleties—micro-behaviors, deflections, inconsistencies—signs that only register when you know what to look for.

Read on for 10 often overlooked behaviors that, according to psychological research, can reveal someone’s true reliability.

1. Inconsistent Storytelling

Research shows that liars often struggle to keep their narratives straight, not because they forget the truth, but because they juggle multiple cognitive tasks. For instance, one study found that the cognitive difficulty of simultaneously providing narrative details and maintaining consistency slows liars' response times and introduces inconsistencies in their deception.¹

If a friend’s tales about their job or past seem to shift every time they’re told, take note. The cracks might reveal more than they intend.

Keep in mind, however, that inconsistencies can be due to other mental stressors, such as anxiety or trauma, rather than an increased cognitive load associated with maintaining a false narrative.

2. Evasive Responses

When someone routinely sidesteps personal questions or gives vague, half-formed answers, it’s not always shyness—it might be intentional concealment. Indeed, psychological research has found that evasive behaviors, such as avoiding direct answers, are strategies used to manage the cognitive demands of deception.² Such tactics can help avoid inconsistencies in narrative lies and prevent exposure.

For example, if a colleague quickly says, “I don’t remember,” or changes the subject when asked about something important, this might be an evasive maneuver to keep you from probing deeper and catching them lying.

3. Overemphasis on Honesty

If someone insists they’re honest and does so unprompted and repeatedly, this is likely a smoke screen. Research shows that overemphasizing integrity, especially without prompting, can be a strategy to mask or divert attention from deceptive behaviors and preempt suspicion.³

If someone keeps insisting they’d "never lie" or are "the most loyal person you’ll ever meet," pay attention. It could be more about persuasion than principle.

4. Disrespect Toward Others

How someone treats people with less power—waitstaff, janitors, junior employees—can tell you more about their character than how they treat you. Disrespect in these contexts is strongly linked to underlying personality traits tied to low trustworthiness.⁴

If someone frequently belittles those in a subordinate role, such as complaining about a service worker or dismissing a colleague’s opinion, it may reflect a deeper issue with their integrity and trustworthiness. How we treat others when we think no one is watching often reveals our most authentic selves.

5. A Pattern of Broken Promises

Trustworthy people follow through. Those who frequently miss deadlines, forget commitments, or cancel plans at the last minute tend to be perceived as unreliable, often with good reason. Research highlights a consistent link between broken promises and diminished perceptions of dependability.⁵

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For example, if someone repeatedly breaks promises or fails to keep their word, it shows a disregard for the value of reliability, an essential building block of trust. Each broken promise erodes trust further, making it harder to believe in their future commitments.

6. Excessive Flattery

While compliments can be warm and affirming, exaggerated flattery—especially early in a relationship—may be used to lower your guard. Research shows that such praise often serves as a manipulation tactic rather than a sign of genuine esteem.⁶

If someone showers you with compliments that feel over-the-top or overly rehearsed, it could be an attempt to gain your trust too quickly, not out of genuine affection, but to manipulate your feelings for personal gain.

7. Guilt Tripping

"If you really cared about me, you’d do this…" Sound familiar? Psychologists have found that individuals with certain personality traits employ emotional pressures to control their intimate partners, such as appeals to guilt or empathy to make the victim feel responsible for the manipulator's alleged suffering.^{7, 8}

Such tactics play on the motivational force of emotions to undermine the victim's perception of reality, coercing decisions or fostering dependence, thereby exerting control over them.

If your intimate partner frequently uses your emotions against you, making you feel guilty or responsible for their well-being or lack thereof, watch out. It could be a deliberate strategy to control you.

8. Secretive Actions

While everyone values privacy, secretiveness that feels deliberate, like hiding texts, dodging questions, or being vague about plans, can indicate deception, especially in close relationships.²

For example, if an intimate partner or an old friend frequently avoids answering questions or hides aspects of their life, such as their phone's content or social lives, it may indicate that they are deceitful rather than merely protecting their privacy. In close relationships, transparency is key.

9. Frequent Gossiping

At first, being part of the gossip loop may feel exciting. Later, it may be hard to break out, as gossiping is a way of gaining control or power over others, not only those being gossiped about but also those clued in.

But there are good reasons to avoid gossipmongers. Gossiping isn't just a social faux pas—it’s a window into the tattle's character. Someone who shares others’ private information might do the same with yours, shedding doubt on their trustworthiness.^{9, 10}

Regular gossiping, furthermore, suggests an attitude of indifference toward others' right to decide whether and how their private information is disseminated, underscoring gossipers' weak ethical boundaries.¹⁰ People who are worth confiding in keep others' secrets because they understand the value of confidentiality.

10. Inconsistent Values

Consistency is the bedrock of integrity. When someone’s values shift depending on who they’re with, it raises questions about their moral core. Research suggests people who frequently contradict themselves on moral matters often lack an internalized value system.^{3, 10}

For example, someone who constantly preaches about honesty may lie through their teeth if doing so serves their ends. Such inconsistency is a warning sign that, rather than adhering to a consistent internalized value system, they adapt their values to fit the circumstances.

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