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Infidelity

How to Avoid Summertime Infidelity

How can we navigate relationship boundaries as the thermometer ticks upward?

Hot weather can feel like a welcome change after the winter months, but are there relationship risks that come with the heat? Do eyes wander further as temperatures rise? If so, how can we maintain healthy and happy relationships and enjoy the weather with our partners?

First of all, does hot weather make people more frisky? Further, do increasing temperatures correlate with an increase in infidelity?

It is well documented that increases in outdoor temperatures have a positive correlation with increases in interpersonal violence (Trujillo, J. C., & Howley, P., 2021) and alcohol consumption-related violence (Cohen, F., & Gonzalez, F., 2024). What is less well studied is the impact of rising temperatures on interpersonal sexual passion and alcohol-related sexual exploration.

As we wait for more empirical research on this topic all we have to rely on is single case studies and anecdotal observation. As a therapist on the east coast of the United States I have seen a trend (amongst the patients that I see) of increasing rates of infidelity during spring and summer months. I wonder if this may be a larger trend, and if so, why?

As metabolisms speed up with warmer temperatures we are also exposing more skin to prospective mates. We are spending more time outdoors, in more direct sunlight, and potentially consuming more alcohol as well (Thomas, C., & Wolff, K. T., 2023). So, how can we navigate the boundaries of healthy romantic relationships as the thermometer ticks upwards?

1. Plan for it. Recognizing that libidos may rise with rising temperatures, set aside extra time to connect with your partner. Connection comes in many forms, and all are valuable:

  • Physical connection may take the form of sex, cuddling, or erotic touch.
  • Emotional connection can come from sex, truthful conversation, sharing a burden, or working on a project together.
  • Spiritual connection can result from sex, couples meditation, couples yoga, or shared prayer.

Sex breeds connection in many ways. It's a canary in the coal mine for relationships, and can be used as a barometer for connection. If you're not having sex, your connection is likely stifled as well; it's an early sign of starting to drift apart. If you notice this, prioritize connection.

2. Talk about it. If you notice that your libido is out of proportion with the sex in your relationship, talk with your partner about it. Feeling guilty or dirty for having an increased sex drive or a wandering eye can put you at greater risk of infidelity. Bottling up emotions will only force them to find another route. Instead, discuss your emotional experience with your partner.

If you struggle with this, reach out to a couples therapist. A neutral relationship specialist can help you find and fill the gaps in your connection efficiently, saving you emotional pain, time, and money.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

References

Cohen, F., & Gonzalez, F. (2024). Understanding the Link between Temperature and Crime. American Economic Journal: Economic Policy, 16(2), 480-514.

Thomas, C., & Wolff, K. T. (2023). Weird winter weather in the Anthropocene: How volatile temperatures shape violent crime. Journal of criminal justice, 87, 102090.

Trujillo, J. C., & Howley, P. (2021). The Effect of Weather on Crime in a Torrid Urban Zone. Environment and Behavior, 53(1), 69-90. https://doi.org/10.1177/0013916519878213

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