Loneliness: America's Invisible Epidemic

Long before the pandemic of 2020 began, the former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy had already declared an epidemic of loneliness in our nation. The impact of loneliness affects our mental and physical health and increases our mortality risk. So this is not anything new. We saw the signs, but we as a society have failed to do anything about it. Perhaps it's an impossible task to put toothpaste back in the tube.

There are many reasons for this epidemic: The decline of community structures and community-based activities, shifts in how people work and live (so many of us work from home now), the increased usage of technology, social media, and smartphones, and the ever-present aura of stigma. Loneliness is often perceived as a weakness or a personal failing, which discourages people from opening up and talking about it. Also, perhaps there's a new kind of world-weary uncertainty that we're all grappling with. Many people seem to be stuck in an extended state of prolonged grief and worry. Hence, people will reach out less, and they tend to withdraw to their handheld devices, tablets, and computers.

Many clients in my private practice report increased anxiety when they excessively swipe and scroll throughout the day. What is especially counterintuitive is the doomscrolling, which causes increased depression, irritability, a sense of helplessness, insomnia, and sedentary behavior.

Adolescents are especially prone to loneliness. However, we must note that adolescent and teen mental health problems rarely stem from a single cause. One also has to consider developmental shifts, specifically their growing reliance on peers, heightened social pressures, and the crucial need for identity and belonging. Furthermore, adolescents and teens who have trouble expressing their feelings, have low self-esteem, and are vulnerable to suggestion are even more affected.

This vulnerability was worsened by the COVID-19 pandemic. Excessive screen time for adolescents precipitates a disturbing lack of socialization, all of which reduces quality in-person connections. In addition, adolescents grapple with social stressors like bullying, the pressure to perform, and marginalization. These can acutely drive feelings of isolation during this sensitive age. Some schools in the United States are banning smartphones during school hours as a way to promote needed human connections with peers. Abstinence, even for short periods of time, could help promote healthy psychological development.

In a recent New York Times article, author Lauren Kunz talked about the advent of AI and our excessive use of technology. She writes that because the desire for connection is so profound, one of the biggest existential threats is that it may lead to a quiet atrophy of our ability to cultivate genuine human relationships. Social and communal functioning could degrade with our massive dependence on technology for our emotional needs. But the good news is, there are many behavioral changes we can perform each day to help restore our connection to each other.

Here are a few tips on how to avoid the loneliness epidemic. Note that self-care is very important here:

• Seek out more live and in-person human connections. Plan real-time social activities with friends and family that you do "physically" together. Online connections don't do the trick. That means less texting and less messaging.
• Try to limit screen time on your smartphone, tablet, or laptop. Excessive screen time drains us of energy, leaves us vulnerable to depression, and decreases our ability to concentrate on important things.
• Cut yourself some slack; it's very natural to feel fearful and concerned during these times. You are not alone. It's going around.
• Don't underestimate or underplay your depression and anxiety. Understand that it's not something to take lightly.
• Practice news hygiene. It's good to stay up to date, but don't saturate.
• Maintain daily structures and routines that don't involve your smartphone. It's important to be consistent and have purpose every day.
• Focus on what you have control over.
• Join clubs, community groups, or recreational leagues.
• Get professional help if needed.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.