Why the Most Important Decisions of 2026 Aren’t Your Goals

As this year comes to a close and a new year commences, many of us repeat a ritual that seems so very important to the effectiveness of our lives.

We step back, during this magical downtime as one year ends and the next begins, and ask ourselves what we want next year to look like. We set goals and make resolutions for ourselves. We make lists. We promise ourselves we’ll finally get it right this time.

And yet, in what also seems to be an annual ritual, by February, most of those goals are quietly abandoned. So, what’s the problem here?

The problem isn’t motivation.

And it isn’t discipline.

It’s that we often start from the wrong place, or should I say a place that is incomplete and out of order in the process.

Before goals, metrics, or action plans, there are deeper, a priori decisions that quietly determine whether our goals will serve us or slowly hollow us out. The most important decisions of 2026 aren’t what you’re trying to achieve. They’re about who you’re becoming, how you’re living, and what kind of life you’re designing into your future.

Let me explain through the story of a client—let’s call him Jonathan. He is a 55-year-old marketing executive at a mid-sized, US-based consumer product business. He is undoubtedly very bright and successful, having climbed the corporate ladder with hard work and dedication. He came to work with me to bring his life into greater balance and overall life satisfaction. As the end of the year approached, he asked me to help him set goals for 2026.

The Goals Beneath the Goals

When Jonathan and I began working together, he came in ready. He had spreadsheets, projections, and clearly defined financial and professional targets for the year ahead. Like many high-performing people, he was eager to “optimize” his life.

But before we touched any of that, I asked him a different question: “Who are you becoming this year?”

At first, he paused, confused. He had come prepared to talk about results, not his identity. But as we slowed the conversation down and looked at his life as a whole system—physical, mental, emotional, relational, and purpose/meaning—something shifted.

Jonathan realized that if he hit every professional goal on his list but continued to neglect his relationship with his teenage son and his younger brother, the year would not feel successful. Achievement, in that case, might come at the cost of meaning and more important priorities in his life.

I suggested to him that goals are not neutral. They shape identity and reinforce patterns of behavior.

Without clarity about who you are becoming, success in more quantitative areas of life can quietly crowd out what matters more, so goals that are more purpose-driven matter.

The second question we explored changed everything in our exploration: “What season of life are you in right now?”

We tend to assume every year must be a year of incremental achievement—more expansion, more output, more wins. But human development doesn’t work that way.

Some seasons are for building.

Others are for healing, consolidating, or recalibrating.

After some exploration, Jonathan realized he was in a season of emotional and psychological integration. He chose to invest time in personal reflection and what came to be understood as early life trauma-informed learning, something that wouldn’t immediately “pay off” professionally but mattered deeply to his long-term well-being. In this case, he decided to spend four times per week in meditation and to enroll in a meditation program to support this goal.

Not every year is meant for acceleration.

Some years are meant for alignment.

When goals ignore the season you’re in, burnout often follows. When you honor it, sustainability becomes possible.

Every “Yes” then becomes a “No” to another critical goal.

Next came the question most people avoid: “What am I saying no to by saying yes to these goals?”

The art of thinking strategically, whether in business or life, is that success comes not from adding more strategies and goals, but from making trade-offs explicit.

Jonathan recognized that pursuing new business partnerships and taking on additional clients would cost him the margin he needed to be present with his family. Naming those trade-offs allowed him to let go of opportunities that looked good on paper but conflicted with his deeper priorities.

Clarity doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from choosing with eyes wide open.

In this example, he said no to two important, expansive business goals in lieu of putting extra energy into his relationships with his son and his brother. It was not easy for him to say no, but he knew deep down inside it was the right thing to do.

Designing for How You Want to Feel

One of the most powerful and uncomfortable questions we explored next was this: “What do you want to feel more of —and less of—this year?”

Jonathan had never started goal-setting from an emotional place. Like many people, he assumed feelings would follow success. But as we explored this together, he realized he wanted to feel more centered, spacious, and loving, and far less crowded, anxious, and approval-seeking. He sought more peace and less attachment to outcomes.

A well-designed life doesn’t just look good.

It feels right.

The Five-Year Test

Finally, I asked Jonathan to step into the future: “If this year were successful, what would you be proud of five years from now?”

This question expands the time horizon. It separates fleeting wins from enduring value. It invites integrity into the present moment.

Long-view thinking can simplify the present.

It helps us act with intention and purpose rather than urgency. In this example, he shared that he would feel more open-hearted with his son and brother, and they would feel that from him. This perspective gave him a tangible way of thinking about his goals and actions in 2026. We both could feel the power of this vision.

Fewer Goals. Better Decisions.

When we step back far enough, onto the balcony of our total life, we begin to see something essential: Goal setting isn’t just about productivity.

It’s about life design, your sense of meaning and purpose, the whys of your life, not just the whats! This concept was popularized by Simon Sinek in his famous TED Talk, The Golden Circle, where he put forth the power of the why question coming before the what answer.

So, before you rush into resolutions for 2026, consider starting here:

• Who am I becoming?
• What season am I in?
• What am I willing to say no to?
• How do I want my life to feel?
• What will I be proud of in five years?

The quality of your goals is determined by the quality of the questions and exploration that comes before them, your a priori goals!

This year, try fewer goals, but better ones, like Jonathan’s: goals that are about a larger slice of life that include relationships and other qualitative aspects of a life of purpose and meaning. At the end of our coaching and goal session, he expressed great pride and hope for the goals he had set and shared with me that he was dedicated to achieving these goals at a level he had never before felt at the start of the year!

And before you decide what you’re chasing, decide who you’re becoming.

That may be the most important decision of all.