The Psychology of Borrowed Hope

What if hope isn’t something we find? What if hope is something we borrow?

We tend to think of hope as an internal resource. Some people have it. Others don’t.

Psychologist C. R. Snyder’s Hope Theory reminds us that hope is more than wishful thinking. It is a combination of agency, the motivation to pursue meaningful goals and pathways, and the ability to find routes around obstacles (Snyder, 2002). While hope ultimately becomes an internal way of thinking, it rarely develops in isolation.

Long before a child believes they can ride a bicycle, someone helps them see that possibility. Before an entrepreneur believes their business will succeed, a mentor or investor first sees potential. Even before a student imagines graduating from college, a teacher quietly stands by, planting the possibility that they belong there.

We like to think that our hope and from it our confidence is a solo act.

Psychology suggests that the development of hope is more like a relay race. Someone carries a belief until they can hand it to us. Hope it turns out, is remarkably social.

1. We Borrow Hope From People Who Believe in Us

Long before our confidence becomes internalized, it is often reflected back to us through another person.

A teacher who passes a note of encouragement, a parent who pushes another attempt after failure, a mentor who recognizes strengths we overlook. All of them provide temporary scaffolding for our own beliefs. The confidence from other people does not guarantee success, but it does expand what feels possible.

Albert Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy shows that encouragement from others and observing successful role models can strengthen our belief that we can succeed (Bandura, 1997). So sometimes another person’s confidence and belief can become the bridge between our own discouragement and persistence.

Boost your hope: Reach out to someone who has shown they believe in you. Share a goal you’re pursuing and ask for honest encouragement and feedback from them. Borrowing hope begins by borrowing perspective.

2. We Borrow Hope From What We Watch and Listen To

Every day, your brain asks a simple question: What should I expect tomorrow?

The answer comes from what you repeatedly consume, as your brain uses what it knows to predict and plan its next action.

The podcasts you hear during your commute. The motivational videos you watch before work. The books you read before bed. The conversations you have with encouraging friends.

If your daily inputs are dominated by cynicism and outrage, your brain begins to expect disappointment. If those same inputs are filled with stories of growth and possibility, your brain rehearses a different future.

The information we consume becomes part of the future we imagine, either building or draining our hope.

Boost your hope: Audit your mental diet. Unfollow one source that constantly leaves you discouraged and replace it with one that educates, inspires, and challenges you to grow.

3. We Borrow Hope From the Communities We Join

If you want to become a runner, join a running club. If you want to write a book, spend time with writers. If you want to build a business, surround yourself with successful entrepreneurs.

Communities normalize struggle while at the same time modeling a level of persistence. Behaviors that might seem extraordinary may begin to feel ordinary when practiced collectively.

Research consistently shows that a strong sense of belonging is associated with greater motivation, engagement, and resilience (Korpershoek et al., 2020). Ultimately, the people we surround ourselves with influence not only our behavior but also our beliefs about what we think we can become.

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Boost your hope: Join one group that represents a future version of yourself. Whether it’s a volunteer organization, running club, professional association, or support group, surround yourself with people moving in the direction you want to go, as it can make your own goals feel more attainable.

Borrowing Hope Is a Choice

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about hope is that it rarely stays borrowed. The encouragement that once came from a teacher becomes your inner voice. The mentor’s confidence becomes self-confidence. The pathway someone else pointed out becomes the road you eventually travel on your own.

In many ways, that is exactly how Snyder’s theory develops. The agency and pathways that define our hope are often modeled by others before becoming our own way of thinking. What begins as borrowed belief gradually becomes internal confidence.

Research consistently shows that hope is associated with greater well-being, resilience, achievement, and goal attainment (Lopez et al., 2004). Maybe that’s because hope spreads from parent to child, teacher to student, coach to athlete, and friend to friend.

Boost someone else’s hope: Hope is contagious. Before today ends, send one encouraging text, make one phone call to someone who matters, or write one note telling someone what you see in them. You may never know how much they needed that borrowed hope.

Hope is influenced by our environment. Sometimes our hope may begin as a loan, but it rarely stays that way. Purposefully cultivating an environment that expands hope helps us and eventually others.

Ultimately, the hope you borrow today may become the hope you give away tomorrow.