http://informaproject.blogspot.com/2009/11/penpals.html
Great post, Doc. Writing letters to my daughter essentially saved my sanity during a very dark and unbelievable ordeal in my life, illustrated in the link above. Thanks.
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One of the staples of positive psychology is the gratitude letter: a written and specific expression of thanks to someone who has been especially kind or important to you who has never heard you express your gratitude — parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, teachers, coaches, teammates, employers, and so on. Over the years, I have asked students in my positive psychology classes to write such letters. If they cannot deliver it by hand, they should mail it. As a positive psychology intervention, gratitude letters “work” 99+% of the time, by which I mean that the recipients are touched, usually profoundly, and so too are the letter-writers, despite misgivings they may have had in the first place about doing something that seemed so corny.
In the last few years, though, I have encountered shocking questions after making the assignment: “How much does a postage stamp cost, and where can I get one?”
I realize that postage stamp prices keep increasing, and I realize that neighborhood post offices are closing down. I also realize that many people now pay their bills on-line or through automatic bank account deductions. Nonethless, my reaction to such questions is always WOW!
This blog entry is not about postage stamps but about letters. Does anyone write them anymore? I am quite sure that the answer is fewer and fewer people. With the holiday season upon us, I have seen more than a few stories about the decline in post office business, not just the catalogues that used to clog our mailboxes but also the cards and letters that used to brighten the season.
I think this is a shame, and I am guilty as anyone. I cannot remember the last time I wrote a letter to someone. However, I do remember the last few letters I received, vividly and fondly. Two were from colleagues of mine at the University of Michigan who wrote to me about recent events in my life, and one was from a student for whom I provided a recommendation. Mind you, many other people communicate with me, by phone or by e-mail, but these three letters are what I remember. I have read each one many times, savoring them. I keep them on my desk, midst flashdrives and paperclips, and I will continue to reread them any time I want to feel good or until they become too faded to be legible.
What makes a good letter? For me, a good letter is personal and personalized. A good letter takes time to write. The thing about writing a letter is that no one can multitask while doing so, unlike e-mails or telephone calls. A letter represents undivided attention and is precious as a consequence. Oh yes, a good letter is handwritten, not a cut-and-pasted, global searched-and-replaced bit of faux intimacy. It need not be written on fancy stationery or an expensive card — the three letters I have been cherishing were written on plain notebook paper! And a good letter is one that required the writer to find a stamp and an envelope and a postbox!
I gave a media interview last week in which I was asked how people might approach the upcoming holiday season if they were on a tight budget. My answer was simple: Write letters.
By the way, right now (December 2009), a stamp costs 44 cents (see http://www.usps.com/prices/).
http://informaproject.blogspot.com/2009/11/penpals.html
Great post, Doc. Writing letters to my daughter essentially saved my sanity during a very dark and unbelievable ordeal in my life, illustrated in the link above. Thanks.
Though I don't write letters often anymore, I feel there are times when it is the only appropriate choice.
One of those times for me what when my dad passed away.
My siblings (who are all over this country, and in scotland) wanted to read the obituary I had written for dad. There were a few ways I could have sent it... The easiest by far would have been to send them a link to the newspaper's website, or I could have e-mailed a scanned copy of it, but instead, I chose to cut out dozens of copies from the newspaper and mail them, with a personal letter to each person.
Not only did this help me feel more connected to my family (writing a letter, you tend to think often of how the other person will percieve the letter, what they'd be thinking while reading it), I was also able to convey my feelings in a much more sincere way than an e-mail would ever accomplish.
I still write letters, a couple of hundred a year, to family and friends. Everyone loves them, especially my older relatives. For me, there is no better way to communicate.
Yes, wow, that students wonder how much a stamp costs. In considering my own children, I realize, they have never been taught how to address a letter - proper placement of return address, stamp, etc. It's rather fascinating. I remember learning all of this in school, and then we were given penpals to practice. Think I'll sit down with my kids tonight and do a little "training" before the art of letter writing completely disappears.
I would love to write letter to someone, but there is no one for that :(
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