Irene S. Levine, Ph.D.

Irene S Levine Ph.D.

The Friendship Doctor

The Problem of Having Only One Friend

If you have no others, you may be overly dependent on the friend you have.

Posted Apr 10, 2015

QUESTION:

Hi Irene,

For the last couple of months my friend has been selfish, going on about her problems while telling me to "shake" my problems off. She has also been taking my insecurities and phobias as something she can joke about with other people.

After being completely fed up with this nonsense, I confronted her and told her how the things she was doing were not right. She took great offense to this and just stopped talking to me in general.

She completely victimized herself in our relationship and disregarded the impact it had on me. I don't know what to do. I have no other friends.

Signed, Cece

ANSWER:

Hi Cece,

A person who has no other friends can be very dependent on the one friend she has—and also somewhat undiscriminating.

You feel like your friend is self-centered, unwilling to be supportive to you, and jokes about your insecurities behind your back. If this is the case, it doesn’t sound like she is the type of friend you can trust or confide in.

It sounds like you have felt this for quite some time but were worried about saying something for fear of losing this friendship. When you did build up the courage to say something, your complaints fell on deaf ears because your friend isn't able to see things from your perspective.

You can try speaking to your friend again and see if her anger has simmered down but I would strongly suggest that you cultivate other friendships in the meantime. You want friendships that entail more give and take, not ones that feel one-sided and unsupportive.

Hope this helps.

Best, Irene

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