Irene S. Levine, Ph.D.

Irene S Levine Ph.D.

The Friendship Doctor

Babies, Pets and Facebook Friends

The etiquette of "liking" and responding to Facebook friends is murky.

Posted Aug 01, 2013


Hi Irene,

I have a friend who has been in my life since high school. We have even worked together at a few different jobs. When we are actively hanging out, it’s a lot of fun and we get along great but I have one issue I can’t seem to get past.

In this day and age of Facebook and Instagram, I am feeling left out by her. I post photos of my child and status updates but rarely hear from her. She never “likes” any of the photos of my child and it is extremely hurtful when I see all of the “likes” and comments she is giving our mutual friends.

I realize I am talking about FB and Instagram and it all sounds trivial but it is really rather hurtful and I am feeling left out. Am I off base? Am I reading too much into it?

Signed, Joy


Hi Joy,

How fortunate you are to have this wonderful friendship that has survived so many life changes. If being ignored on Facebook is bothering you and stands to affect the friendship, this concern isn’t trivial.

Raise the issue, in person, next time you see your friend and find out what’s up. Some of my Facebook friends constantly post pictures of children and pets; others loathe the practice, especially those without either. But if your friend is liking and commenting on pictures of children posted by your mutual friends, something is wrong. Maybe your posts aren’t making her Facebook feed—or she isn’t aware she is ignoring your photos.

Because this is a friendship you want to keep, online and off, why don’t you just ask your friend if she’s seeing the photos you are posting?

Also, I’m glad you realize the importance of not blowing the issue out of proportion. It’s good that you asked me because I suspect similar misunderstandings with Facebook friends are common.

Hope this helps!

My best, Irene

Other relevant posts on The Friendship blog about Facebook friends:

Have you ever felt hurt by something you saw posted by Facebook friends?

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