The Freedom to Change

Relationships

The Flip: When Your New Love Turns Into Anxiety

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on March 9, 2026

The flip is something that happens when your thoughts and feelings lead you from feeling good to feeling bad in a relationship. Here are five ways to keep the flip from happening.

The flip is something that happens when your thoughts and feelings lead you from feeling good to feeling bad in a relationship. Here are five ways to keep the flip from happening.

Relationships

The Secret to Getting Beyond the First Date

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on February 2, 2026

Emotions on a first date may be about the person you're with, or may be about emotional memories triggered by your companion. Learn to tell the difference so you can move forward.

Emotions on a first date may be about the person you're with, or may be about emotional memories triggered by your companion. Learn to tell the difference so you can move forward.

Empathy

Why Other People Just Don’t Get It

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on January 6, 2026

1. Don’t assume the other person is being rational.

1. Don’t assume the other person is being rational.

Artificial Intelligence

Using ChatGPT to Process Relationship Issues

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on December 1, 2025

Many people are turning to ChatGPT for relationship advice. But should you trust its answers? See how advice can differ depending on how you frame your question.

Many people are turning to ChatGPT for relationship advice. But should you trust its answers? See how advice can differ depending on how you frame your question.

Relationships

Staying Connected in Your Romantic Relationship

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on October 31, 2025

Connection to others is a need, not just a want, for most people living in today’s social world. Here are 9 steps to help you connect and stay connected to your romantic partner.

Connection to others is a need, not just a want, for most people living in today’s social world. Here are 9 steps to help you connect and stay connected to your romantic partner.

Relationships

Purging the Ghost of Past Love

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on September 30, 2025

You don't have to feel stuck longing for that past love and not feeling fully satisfied with the one you're with. Learn to let go of your old schema and live in the present.

You don't have to feel stuck longing for that past love and not feeling fully satisfied with the one you're with. Learn to let go of your old schema and live in the present.

Relationships

How, When, and Why to Ask a Partner to Be Exclusive

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on August 29, 2025

Know why you're asking, and don't fear the answer.

Know why you're asking, and don't fear the answer.

Relationships

Making Conflict Work Better in Relationships

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on July 31, 2025

Relational conflict does not have to be damaging or be avoided. It can be managed effectively and give you and your relationship partners the resolutions you want and need.

Relational conflict does not have to be damaging or be avoided. It can be managed effectively and give you and your relationship partners the resolutions you want and need.

Family Dynamics

6 Steps to Changing Your Family Role

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on June 30, 2025

Family roles evolve and are not consciously chosen. You can change your outdated roles on purpose to have a family and relationship experience that works better for you.

Family roles evolve and are not consciously chosen. You can change your outdated roles on purpose to have a family and relationship experience that works better for you.

Attachment

How to Keep Your Partner From Becoming More Avoidant

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on May 30, 2025

People might back off from a new partner if they introduce too much emotion into a relationship too early.

People might back off from a new partner if they introduce too much emotion into a relationship too early.

Attachment

Anxious Attachment and the Sensitive Emotional Radar

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on April 30, 2025

Seven ways to look beyond your emotions and see other people more clearly.

Seven ways to look beyond your emotions and see other people more clearly.

Attachment

Why Do They Lie?

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on March 28, 2025

Research shows that those with dismissing attachment are more likely to engage in deception in romantic relationships. See how to get to the truth to avoid pain and disappointment.

Research shows that those with dismissing attachment are more likely to engage in deception in romantic relationships. See how to get to the truth to avoid pain and disappointment.

Adverse Childhood Experiences

What Childhood Has to Do With Your Adult Relationships

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on February 28, 2025

There is a good reason that psychologists ask about your childhood, and it's not about blaming your parents. Its about changing how you feel and react in close relationships.

There is a good reason that psychologists ask about your childhood, and it's not about blaming your parents. Its about changing how you feel and react in close relationships.

Attachment

10 Ways to Help Avoidant Partners Develop Empathy

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on January 27, 2025

A common complaint about avoidant partners is that they lack care or empathy. In this post, I demystify avoidant attachment and suggest ways to foster positive growth and change.

A common complaint about avoidant partners is that they lack care or empathy. In this post, I demystify avoidant attachment and suggest ways to foster positive growth and change.

Relationships

How to Stop Internalizing Other People's Conflict

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on December 23, 2024

Ever find yourself wondering how and why you ended up in conflict with a romantic partner or family member? Here are seven strategies to end the battle.

Ever find yourself wondering how and why you ended up in conflict with a romantic partner or family member? Here are seven strategies to end the battle.

Attachment

Has Attachment Gone to the Dogs?

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on November 25, 2024

In an age where social connections can be strained, a dog or cat can provide a secure base of warmth and affection and buffer against feelings of alienation and rejection.

In an age where social connections can be strained, a dog or cat can provide a secure base of warmth and affection and buffer against feelings of alienation and rejection.

Attachment

Attachment on the Autism Spectrum

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on October 24, 2024

Research indicates that there is overlap between fearful attachment and some symptoms of autism. Here’s what you should know and how to tell the difference.

Research indicates that there is overlap between fearful attachment and some symptoms of autism. Here’s what you should know and how to tell the difference.

Attachment

How Avoidant People Can Date Preoccupied Partners

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on September 24, 2024

People with preoccupied attachment styles can overwhelm dating partners. If given a little slower pace, others might be better able to reciprocate with lasting love connections.

People with preoccupied attachment styles can overwhelm dating partners. If given a little slower pace, others might be better able to reciprocate with lasting love connections.

Relationships

Women and Hope for the Avoidant Man

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on August 20, 2024

The dynamics of hope in relationships can give you strategies to end the cycle of dating avoidant men who seem to promise romance but block getting to the goal.

The dynamics of hope in relationships can give you strategies to end the cycle of dating avoidant men who seem to promise romance but block getting to the goal.

Attachment

Solving Relationship Issues With the Two-Brain Paradigm

Hal Shorey Ph.D. on July 22, 2024

Your emotional brain and rational brain often pull you in different directions and underlay many relationship conflicts. Learn to use this information to get relationships right.

Your emotional brain and rational brain often pull you in different directions and underlay many relationship conflicts. Learn to use this information to get relationships right.