Why relaxing is so much work.
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How Forgiveness Benefits Individual, Family, and Community Health
Robert Enright Ph.D.
How forgiving are you toward those who have hurt you deeply? This scale can help you understand where you are on your forgiveness journey.
Breaking up with a partner can lead to hesitancy about to the relationship. These points of reflection can assist you in making the decision.
Without ascribing justice as a central virtue to his psychosocial stages, Erikson omitted perhaps the key variable for harmonious relations in families and in communities.
Forgiving and reconciling are different. If you falsely think your forgiving will bring back the other person, you may wait in the hope of a reconciliation that will never come.
Negative interactions with one's father can damage future relationships. But it is possible to heal.
Those who reject the idea of forgiveness may do so from a position of pain and a misunderstanding of forgiving. Yet, even if it takes years, insights can blossom.
Viewers on social media gravitate toward videos showing people getting back at others who acted unjustly. Which is psychologically healthier for us: revenge-seeking or forgiving?
Hopelessness in the short-run can be accepted, given the current challenges. There are psychological approaches, when you are ready, for countering this so that hope is restored.
When taking undergraduate psychology courses, I learned about Freud's and Skinner's theories, but we never delved into the underlying image of humanity hidden inside their views.
The rising rate of suicidal ideation and suicides among military personnel and veterans might be reduced by Forgiveness Therapy.
Genuine forgiveness levels the moral playing field in which the parties come together as equals. In false-forgiveness, a person may be using this moral virtue for self-interest.
Although forgiveness was not part of Erik Erikson's psychosocial theory, forgiveness possibly can and should be integrated into that theory for a healthy and happy life.
Betrayals are very painful. The effects of betrayals, such as deep anger, generalized mistrust of others, anxiety, and depression can be even more challenging. It is time to heal.
Trouble in relationships now might be caused by pain passed from previous generations of family members who struggled with pain from injustice. It is time to stop the pattern.
After we have suffered through and overcome challenging injustices, we often find that we have a new purpose in life. This can be invigorating.
Humility, too often misunderstood as timidity, can help you in a variety of ways to see yourself and others more realistically and possibly to increase a sense of well-being.
People have a number of questions about whom to forgive when resentments build during the "shelter-in-place" and quarantine rules as people wait for COVID-19 to pass.
When a relationship is worth saving, should we protect ourselves and just not care so much, in case it fails, or put love first and try to be of service to the other?
Resentments can live with us for years. If someone bullied you when you were an adolescent, the sting of this might still be present. Yet, the residual effects of anger can leave.
When we are beaten down by the injustices of life, we can think of ourselves as burned out or irreversibly damaged. Yet, forgiving those who have been cruel can be rejuvenating.
Many people are afraid to forgive or are angry about the idea because they think they must automatically go back into the relationship. Is this the case?
The seven questions here are not an exam which the other passes or fails. Instead, a discussion of them may help you both better understand how you see humanity—and each other.
Suppose someone bullies your family member, but not you. Can you legitimately go ahead and forgive even though you were not the one who was treated unfairly?
Have you been playing the tape in your mind that all people cannot be trusted? Have you turned the generalization onto yourself, thinking that you are less than you truly are?
Our sound-bite culture can lead to false impressions. "Victim shaming" is the latest error, and it is dangerous to the oppressed.
We must make a distinction between recent and long-ago causes of anxiety. Severe injustices from the past, which can cause deep anger, may be a major contributor to that anxiety.
Although forgiveness is one and only one moral virtue, there are at least five different motivations underlying forgiveness when hurt by others.
If it is the case that forgiveness of others can at times be selfish or enabling of others' bad behavior, then such a conclusion could discourage people from forgiving.
Thousands of researchers and therapists now address the crucial issue of forgiving others. What were the developments in this field and where is it headed next?
When treated unfairly by others, people can develop resentment, compromising physical health.
Robert Enright, Ph.D., is a professor of educational psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a licensed psychologist who pioneered the social scientific study of forgiveness.