The Fix for Feeling Out of Control

calm in chaos

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The news is full of policies and disasters that affect people’s lives in ways they cannot control. People are losing jobs, family members, stability, and financial security, often suddenly and without warning. The uncertainty created by these shifts also has a pervasive effect: Even people who are not directly impacted are left with a sense that the world is chaotic and uncontrollable.

Studies of Control and Well-Being

Having a sense of control matters for people’s health and well-being. Several classic studies demonstrated this point in nursing home residents. They showed that when residents were able to control parts of their daily life, such as when to have movie night or taking care of a plant in their room, they did better. Their physical and mental health improved, with benefits for how long and how well they lived. Further studies showed that people improved when they perceived they had control, even if the control was a matter of how they were thinking about the situation.

The evidence about how the loss of control impacts us came from a shocking follow-up to one of these studies. Researchers implemented a fun intervention for nursing home residents—they would be visited by a college student for several weeks and have a chance to socialize. They varied the control that people had over the visits, with some residents setting the timing of the visits, some knowing when they would occur, some being visited randomly, and some with no visits. The residents with control over the visits showed improvements in their mental and physical health, including taking less medication. Then the study ended, and the students stopped visiting. In a follow-up investigation in the 2-3 years after the study, the residents who had control over the visits and benefited the most during the study experienced a dramatic decline in their physical and mental health, whereas the other groups remained stable during the follow-up period. There was also a higher number of deaths among the group that had benefited the most.

These studies are often taught in methods graduate courses to raise awareness about the impact of interventions during and after studies. But they also provide a striking lesson for our daily lives. When we think we have control and we lose it, it can have serious consequences for our health and well-being. Later research has demonstrated all the ways that control affects us, including physiological stress responses, immune responses, and related symptoms. So what do we do when we lose control—when it seems like the world is spinning into chaos?

How to Regain a Sense of Control

Re-establishing the perception of control is key to overcoming this situation. One way of doing this is to focus on what is under our control, or to “control the controllables.” We never control everything, but shifting our focus to what we can control can help maintain the sense of balance and take proactive steps to improve the situation.

Intentionally engaging in activities that match our values and interests can also help establish a feeling of control while also making a difference that we care about. These are activities where we are choosing what we do, and we care about the impact of what we are doing.

If we’re engaging with other people who feel out of control, especially children or older adults, we can build in opportunities to make choices. Just giving a choice between two options helps people feel more in control of their lives.

Finally, celebrating goal achievements can help establish a feeling of control. It makes us feel like we can overcome moments of uncertainty and successfully tame the chaos.