Dating Mythbusters: There Is a Better Half Out There for You
Does your "better half" exist?
Posted Jun 30, 2018
We hear it all of the time. “I am ready to meet my better half?” “You are so lucky that you have found your better half!” “When are you going to settle down with your better half?” This turn of phrase has been used so many times that it has become the way we describe our partners or potential partners. So people everywhere are out there searching for this "better half". You know, the one person whose presence in your life will not only make you feel complete but will also do so by being BETTER than you are. Wait...WHAT?!
The mere notion that there is a better half out there for you implies that you are not complete on your own. To be happy, you need another person to share your life with who will magically transform your lack luster existence into a life of bliss. The problem is, this will never work! Here’s why:
Happiness comes from within. You and only you can make yourself feel fulfilled, worthy and capable. Yes, when you meet someone that you have a great connection with there is a sense of happiness that comes along with it. However, that happiness is not infinite. In time, when you get past the honeymoon phase and real life settles in again, it will fade. This is not because your new partner is not “the one”. It is because you have not nurtured your better half within!
Don’t Push Love Away
When you look at your partner as the key to feeling complete, you place way too much responsibility on them. You could be dating the greatest person in the world, but if you are dependent on them for your happiness, in time you will start be become a burden. No one should have to carry that load. Forcing your partner into the role of your “better half”, in time, will push them away.
Dating is complicated enough without creating an impossible standard for who you should end up with. When we idealize our future partner, we can fall into the pattern of looking more at a date's flaws than their attributes. Focus on what you have in common, how the person makes you feel, your chemistry, and whether you have similar life goals. Let go of the checklist that adds up to this notion of your “better half”.
Forget about finding your "better half" and spend time developing your "whole self".
Ah, another Dating Myth debunked! Dating can be a challenge. Learn to do it with more awareness, confidence and success.