5 Signs That You're Independent From Your Parents

Are you a truly independent adult? It's not about where you live.

Posted Sep 09, 2018

Contrary to conventional wisdom, you can't achieve independence by moving out of your parents' home, landing a paying job, and renting an apartment with your partner half-way across the country.

Rather, independence requires the following:

*We can stay connected to family members while remaining ourselves.

*We can say what we think about feel without trying to change or convince the other person  to see things our way.

*We can learn to ask questions about our family history, and get a larger and more objective picture of where our parents came from. 

*We can take a calm position with our parents about things that matter, without getting too nervous about differences, and without getting defensive, critical or attacking.

*We can change our part in family patterns that keep us stuck in distance and blame.

Our first family is the deck of cards that fate dealt us, but how we navigate these relationships as adults is up to us.  The good news is that you can improve all of your relationships if you work on even one of these five things with your first family.  

Even small changes can make a big difference. Take my word for it--or better yet, be a bold adventurer and do the research yourself!