Is email good for relationships or not? Does it foster connectedness? Does it allow for the confessional moment which face to face contact inhibits? OR does email (as well as its cousin, texting) provide a constant distraction from being present with one another?
Maureen Dowd in The New York Times refers to Pinter's Betrayal as an example of the impossibility of conducting an affair today. Not so. Electronic acuity is required but its nimble execution may be even more painful to the unsuspecting partner.
Is sexual betrayal more upsetting when it's discovered virtually? Does electronic capability encourage infidelity? What is considered infidelity in online behavior? Every therapist is dealing with these troubling questions every week in her office as online contact increases with new forms and new capacities.
Online couple therapy endorses a view that relationships can be represented as numbers and graphs. Rather the heart of good couples therapy is to capture the special and unique bonding between two individuals, their signature histories and struggles.
More and more couples are fighting online on Facebook. Their friends and many experts disapprove. I think there is a benefit to calling on the couple's friendship community for support, normalization and feedback.