Off the Couch

Thoughts about the therapeutic process, and the dynamics of client-therapist interactions.

F. Diane Barth L.C.S.W.

Why Is Emotional Splitting So Hard to Deal With?

Although emotional splitting is often seen in borderline personality disorders, it's present in plenty of other situations. Here are three ways to respond.

Angry, Sad, and Weary? 5 Steps to Balance, Without Meditating

Feeling unstable, or out of balance, can be both a symptom and result of stress, leading to emotional and physical symptoms.

What Are You Afraid Of?

Change is part of life, but most of us fear it almost, and sometimes more, than we welcome it. What are you afraid of?

Focus Is Hard to Come by These Days. Here's Why.

“It takes me until about 4 p.m. to actually get work done. Often I wind up stuck mid-thought on the staircase trying to recall what I was about to do."

What's the Best Thing to Do With Your Anger?

Is COVID-19 making you angry? What should you do? (Hint: The answer isn't to express it!)

Does Working From Home Make You Blue? Research Explains Why

Research explains why working from home can make you feel down and anxious—even if it's your choice.

6 Ways to Deal with Selfish People During COVID-19

Tensions are escalating as the corona virus lingers. Selfish behavior is just one of the ways we are dealing. What can you do when someone's selfishness impinges on you?

Are You Thinking This Is Not the Way It Was Supposed to Be ?

Phrases like “this isn’t how it’s supposed to be” capture the sense of loss and uncertainty of the pandemic. Here's another way to think about it.

Should You Ask Your Therapist How They're Doing?

“I know I’m not supposed to ask about your personal life,” said Judy, who had been in therapy with me for awhile before COVID-19. “But I’m worried about how you're doing."

Exercise Can Help Right Now—5 Ways to Start Moving

Research tells us that exercise is a way of dealing with stress. Here are five ways to get motivated when you can't make yourself exercise at home.

Feeling Anxious and Vulnerable? 6 Powerful Coping Techniques

In the last few days, almost every conversation in my psychotherapy office has been tinged with anxiety, if not panic. What can you do to ease your own and your family's worries?

Lies and Half Truths on Social Media

“I’m trying to teach my kids that things that they see on ads—online and on TV—often aren’t what the advertisers make them out to be,” a client said. But how could she do it?

9 Rules for Living a Good Life

“I’m not religious,” Lena said to me at the beginning of her therapy session. "So how do I teach my children values that they might have learned if we sent them to Sunday school?"

Does Being Critical of Your Partner Equate to a Bad Relationship?

Whether you're the critic or the criticized, criticism in a relationship can leave you feeling more vulnerable and alone. But there may still be hope for your relationship.

Can Your Search for a Romantic Partner Be Making You Lonely?

Many of us see a connection to a special someone as the solution to loneliness. But the search for that special person can lead to more loneliness. Here are some things you can do.

Treating Democracy Grief in Psychotherapy

Traditionally, therapists take a neutral position on politics and other strongly held beliefs. But contemporary politics make some of us wonder about that stance.

OK, Boomer: “You’re Too Old to Understand”

“You don’t understand,” a 22-year-old client told me. “You’re from a different generation. I know you’re trying, but you don’t get it."

After a Breakup: Putting Yourself Back Together

One of the least recognized but potentially most destructive aspects of a breakup is the damage to your sense of who you are. How do you find yourself?

Your Kid Isn't Perfect? Maybe That's Not So Bad

We’re reading all of these books about parenting, but what happens to our child if we can’t be the kinds of parents they say we should be?

Why It's Important Not to Know Everything

A colleague recently commented that a student psychotherapist he was supervising seemed to think he was supposed to know everything. "What does he think training is for, then?"

What Makes Someone Support a Bully?

Often bullies don't act alone. Who supports them, and why? Social psychology and Freud offer some interesting answers.

Helpless and Hopeless—Signs of More Than Depression

If you are feeling helpless and hopeless in response to world events, you are not alone. But there are some things you can do.

How Important Is a Psychiatric Diagnosis?

The question of psychiatric diagnosis has long been a confusing one. A new study suggests that they are actually not useful. Why?

Are You Self-Critical?

You might use self-criticism to motivate yourself to change. But research says it can backfire, making us feel less motivated instead. What to do?

Change Can Be Hard: This Simple Act Can Help

From a distance, change often looks easy. And it can be. It can also be exciting and challenging. But up close it can sometimes be distressing.

Self-Care Is Important: Why Is It So Hard to Practice?

Self-care sounds obvious. Self-compassion can make you healthier, stronger, and more successful. But it's neither simple nor easy. Why? And what can you do about it?

Whose Fault Is It?

How you manage the difference between something that happened to you and something you did can impact your self-confidence, well-being, and general satisfaction in life.

Everybody Needs Boundaries: 6 Ways to Make Them Work for You

Here are six simple steps to healthier boundaries.

Can Women and Men Be "Just Friends?"—3 Ways to Make It Work

As men and women spend more time together, it's important to find ways to cross the divide.

Mothers and Adult Daughters: Building a Healthy Relationship

Although mother-daughter relationships are often idealized in our minds, in reality they are frequently complex, varied, and surprisingly complicated.  

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