Nine-Peace Seeker (avoiding conflict): “I looked different on the outside from how I felt inside. I felt different from what was around me. There didn’t seem to be a place for me in my family so I numbed myself—"
“You have to sit around so much doing nothing,” Gertrude Stein wrote on developing creative genius. F. Scott Fitzgerald thought boredom was necessary for writing: “You’ve got to go by or past or through boredom, as through a filter, before the clear product emerges.”
Losing money and getting bad grades are more painful to most people than winning money and getting good grades are pleasurable. Some have figured out that they’ll be more likely to succeed (at losing weight, for example) if they commit to sending money to a charity they hate if they fail to meet their goal.
Some Enneagram types value appearing positive more than others do. Many of us 5-Observers challenge the prevailing opinion or look at the negative side while searching for more information. Many introverts and some 5s, 4-Romantics, 8-Asserters and counter-phobic 6-Questioners dislike overly-optimistic language as it seems automatic and insincere.
Ones (Perfectionists) Would Never Dream of:
• being half an hour late to work
• not making reservations for every night of their vacation
• leaving their clothes in a heap and their dishes unwashed all week
• using their sleeve for a napkin
• taking a relaxing bath just before guests come
“I told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids.”
“A study in 20 American cities, published in the American Academy of Pediatrics in 2013, found that young children in homes with little or no spanking showed swifter cognitive development than their peers. Other studies find that children in physically punitive schools perform worse.”
Magda’s fans bootlegged her recordings for decades and adored her with such passion, police had to stop them from dashing onto the stage. Opera lovers are usually very discriminating about vocal quality, but not Magda’s fans. So what kept them enthralled—her enthusiasm? Her sparkle?
Ben was tired of feeling like two people—the one he kept inside and the inauthentic one he showed to others. He was so miserable he had even come close to suicide. The Enneagram helped him to feel he belonged.
"The Golds point out Internet-enabled cameras and cell phones, not to mention National Security Agency snooping, have turned the entire world into a single, if virtual, city and ‘a bizarre delusion about being watched into a sober worry.'"
Stern says we grow more attached to the music we hear in our adolescent period than at any other time in our life because of our neurons. Our prefrontal cortex retains the personal memory music evokes. When we love hearing a song, our brains’ pleasure circuits get activated…
When Malcolm Gladwell wrote that anyone can become a musician if they practice enough, I was skeptical based on my experience as a pianist and piano teacher. My most successful students seemed to feel the music almost before they learned the notes.
In conducting fieldwork among homeless gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender teenagers in the Bay Area as a faculty member of San Francisco State University, Dr. Ryan documented a strong correlation between rejection by families and such dangerous youthful behavior as drug abuse, unprotected sex and suicide attempts.
Rust is a 5-Observer in the Enneagram. He’s not diplomatic; he’s compelled to keep telling Marty his nihilistic views of life even though Marty can’t stand it. Rust is good at figuring things out, for example that the green house in a photo is the same color as the ears of the monster children have described. Rust tries to venture into society at times.