How to Get Along with the Enneagram 6-Questioner Type
This personality can be witty, loyal, suspicious, and playful.
Posted Apr 05, 2016
6-Questioners are often energetic and hard workers. They like to hear the truth. They do not take kindly to people who try to manipulate or flatter them. They need to know where they and others stand so they can act appropriately (and stay safe). If they are anti-authoritarians, they suspect anyone who has power over them. For this reason, they may be reluctant to assume the role of leader themselves; they want to be sure others will not resent them in turn.
How to get along with Questioners:
• Be direct and clear.
• Listen to the 6 carefully
• Don’t judge them for their anxiety.
• Work things through with the 6.
• Reassure the 6 that everything is okay between you.
• Laugh and make jokes with the 6.
• Gently push them toward new experiences.
• Try not to react to their overreacting.
The material in this blog is based on the book, The Enneagram Made Easy.
Annabelle was a phobic 6-Questioner. Everything from unhealthy food to catching an illness to atomic war frightened her. Of course these things can frighten anyone, but she spent almost all of her time scanning for danger and trying to figure out how to stay safe.
Bradley was a counterphobic 6-Questioner. He was a nonconformist and tried to attack possible enemies before they could attack him. Underneath his bravado he was unusually frightened, too, but he acted tough in order to cover it up.
Both Annabelle and Bradley were witty and knew how to make people laugh. In fact, there are probably more comedians who are type Six than any other personality type.
Sixes at their best in a relationship are warm, playful open, loyal, supportive, honest, fair, and reliable.
Sixes at their worst in a relationship are suspicious, controlling, inflexible, and sarcastic. They either withdraw or put on a tough act when threatened.
Though Questioners can be found in almost any career, they are often attracted to the justice system, the military, the corporate world, and academia. Sixes often like being part of a team. Many are in health care and education.
Counterphobic Sixes sometimes have jobs that involve risk. Those who lean toward the anti-authoritarian side are usually happier when self-employed.
If Sixes are unhappy with their work situation they are likely to become rebellious or secretive.
• The Eneagram Made Easy is recommended by Enneagram teachers all over the world. Even advanced students of the Enneagram refer to it often for its whimsical cartoons and clear information.
• For more about Questioners and work, see Chapter 6 of The Career Within You.
• For information on teens as Questioners, see The Enneagram for Teens.
• For more on Wagele books, articles, and cartoons see wagele.com