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Being married to someone in the military is sometimes as tough as actually being in the military. Military spouses are required to make numerous sacrifices and forced to endure the hassles, disruptions, and the sometimes downright idiotic rules of military life. For example, for those military spouses reading this article, you have likely heard the phrase "the mission comes first" a thousand times. As a former Army officer, I empathize with you as I grew sick of the phrase within months of my commission. Many of you have moved so many times that you write the wrong return address on your mail. More than a few of you have had at least one Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner in a mess hall. And don't forget the "mandatory fun" that requires you to stand around a dark and tacky decorated banquet hall listening to boring tales of days gone past.
It is certainly not my intent to make light of the many sacrifices of military spouses. Many of you have a husband or wife in harm's way right now. When not paying the bills, mowing the lawn, raising the kids, or working a full-time job to make ends meet, you are worrying about your loved one and praying that he or she will come home safe and sound. I have never envied the job of a military spouse.
My intent of this article is to help you keep your sanity by keeping your sense of humor. Weep for the sad things, but laugh for the funny things. Worry when it's necessary, but find humor in those situations that are ridiculous. Your life is serious enough as it is. Below are a few pearls that may help you.
You Know You are a Military Spouse When...
• you stand in the movie theater as they play the National Anthem before the start of the movie.
• you say 1800 hours instead of 6pm.
• all your kids, including your two year old stop what they're doing and put their hands on their hearts whenever they hear the National Anthem.
• you know what someone means when they say "we lived on the economy," or "we lived in a stairwell."
• if you ever answer a question with HOOAH!
• you refer to your bathroom as the latrine.
• you find yourself saying "let's police up this yard" to your kids.
• you ask someone to hold on a second by saying "stand by".
• you can't go to sleep unless TAPS is playing.
• you yell at your kids by saying, "Don't make me email your father/mother!"
