Gender
8 Rules for Being a Good Man
Atoxic masculinity and the eight rules for being a good man.
Posted February 8, 2026 Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Key points
- Toxic masculinity is often mentioned but rarely defined clearly.
- A study defined eight aspects of toxic masculinity.
- Based on the eight aspects of toxic masculinity, what it takes to be an atoxic man can be determined.
Toxic masculinity is a term that is often used on social media and in other online contexts. It describes troubling attitudes about masculinity that may be harmful to others, especially women, but also other men. A recent study (Hill Cone and co-workers, 2026) found that overall, only 10.8 percent of male volunteers in a large study on toxic masculinity showed clear signs of toxic masculinity, while 89.2 percent did not (see my detailed blog post on this study, “Good News: Study Shows That Most Men Are Not Toxic” here).
The study also attempted to define what actually makes up toxic masculinity using concepts from psychological science. This part of the study was also important, as the term is widely used online, but often it is not really clear what is meant by it. Interestingly, by looking at the eight factors that made up toxic masculinity in the study, one could also define what makes up atoxic masculinity. What does it take to be an atoxic man? Here are eight rules.
1. Don’t let being a man be too important for your sense of self.
The first aspect of toxic masculinity in the study was called gender identity centrality. This psychological concept measures how important it is for someone’s sense of self to be a man. People high in toxic masculinity feel that it is very important for their sense of self that they identify as a man. In contrast, for atoxic men, being a man is not a huge part of their sense of self.
2. Don’t have negative prejudices about people based on their sexual orientation.
The second aspect of toxic masculinity in the study was called sexual prejudice. This psychological concept measures negative thoughts about others based on their sexual orientation. People high in toxic masculinity judge other people based on their sexual orientation and have negative prejudices about other people based on their sexual orientation. In contrast, atoxic men do not care much about the sexual orientation of other people and have no prejudices about others based on their sexual orientation.
3. Be nice to others.
The third aspect of toxic masculinity in the study was disagreeableness, which is a personality trait that includes being unpleasant and offensive to other people. In contrast, atoxic men show high levels of agreeableness with other people and are pleasant and not offensive to them.
4. Don’t be narcissistic.
The fourth aspect of toxic masculinity in the study was also a personality trait: Narcissism. Toxic men show high levels of this personality trait, which includes an increased sense of self-worth, often at the cost of other people. In contrast, atoxic men show low levels of narcissism.
5. Don’t be sexist.
A major aspect of toxic masculinity investigated in the study is hostile sexism, a psychological construct covering overtly negative attitudes towards women. It goes without saying that atoxic men do not show hostile sexism.
6. Question your stereotypes about women, even if you are well-meaning.
Interestingly, the scientists investigated a second form of sexism, so-called benevolent sexism. In contrast to hostile sexism, benevolent sexism covers attitudes towards women that are not overtly hostile but still view them stereotypically. One example of benevolent sexism is offering a woman unnecessary help, such as carrying objects for her without asking, assuming she lacks the strength to do so. Atoxic men show low levels of benevolent sexism.
7. Support domestic violence prevention initiatives.
Another trait that toxic men show is a strong opposition to domestic violence prevention initiatives. In contrast, atoxic men support initiatives helping prevent violence towards women in relationships.
8. Fight for equality.
The last aspect of toxic masculinity investigated in the study was social dominance orientation. This psychological construct reflects a preference against equality in social groups and for having a dominance hierarchy within groups. While toxic men like having a clear hierarchy with a strong leader, atoxic men prefer social equality with other people, irrespective of their gender.
Facebook image: Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock
References
Hill Cone, D., Lilly, K. J., Sibley, C. G., & Osborne, D. (2026). Are men toxic? A person-centered investigation into the prevalence of different types of masculinity in a large sample of New Zealand men. Psychology of Men & Masculinities, 27(1), 106–123. https://doi.org/10.1037/men0000547
