Does Parenthood Have to Kill a Couple's Romance?

Entering parenthood marks a period of major shifts for many couples. Psychological research has yielded conflicting results on how becoming parents affects romantic relationships. Some studies found that becoming parents can strengthen the bond between two people, as they have a shared responsibility in caring for their child. Also, for some couples, not being able to have children together can put a serious strain on the relationship, up to becoming a reason to split up.

Thus, it could be expected that couples that have children together may have more stable relationships compared to those who do not, but that does not always seem to be the case. Specifically, several psychological studies found negative effects of parenthood on the parents’ relationship, as couples with children often report lower relationship satisfaction. This may be due to various stressors related to having a child, such as sleep deprivation, permanent fatigue, financial problems, stress, and conflicts between work and family time. However, such findings are somewhat inconsistent and seem to be significantly influenced by cultural factors.

A brand-new study on parenthood and romantic love in the parents' relationship

Therefore, a large-scale study on parenthood and its effects on the relationship of the parents that considers data from many different cultures is needed to make reliable conclusions. This is exactly what a new study, published on October 24, 2025, in the scientific journal Human Nature, has now provided (Żelaźniewicz and co-workers, 2025). In the study titled “Is Family Size Related To Love? Data from 25 Countries,” the research team, led by Agnieszka Żelaźniewicz from the University of Wrocław in Poland, analyzed data from more than 3,100 volunteers from 25 different countries (e.g., Australia, India, Romania, Brazil, Belgium, Vietnam, and many others).

Eighty-two percent of volunteers were married, and the remaining 18 percent were engaged. All volunteers filled out some questionnaires in their native languages. Most importantly, the volunteers filled out the Sternberg Triangular Love Scale, a questionnaire measuring intimacy, passion, and commitment in romantic relationships. By adding the scores for these three facets of romantic love together, the scientists could determine an overall love score. Moreover, the volunteers filled out a questionnaire about the number of children they had, as well as a questionnaire seeking personal information about the volunteers, such as their age.

What did the scientists find out?

Overall, there were 699 childless people and 2,488 people who were parents with at least one child in the study cohort. Using advanced statistical modeling, the scientists compared childless people and parents regarding the composite love score obtained from the Sternberg Triangular Love Scale, as well as regarding the three scores for intimacy, passion, and commitment in romantic relationships.

The results were clear:

Across cultures, parents with at least one child reported lower overall love than childless people. The analysis of the three facets of romantic love revealed that the parents reported lower intimacy and passion. For commitment, however, no differences between parents and childless people were observed. These effects were not affected by the number of children, so they did not increase with the more children a couple had.

Takeaway

Taken together, the results of this large international study draw a clear picture: Being a parent negatively affects romantic love across cultures, especially its intimacy and passion aspects. The scientists discuss that these findings can be explained by the increased stress, fatigue, and financial strain that often come with childcare. These factors may lead to a reduced sense of emotional closeness and attraction in couples, which may lead to decreased marital satisfaction. This highlights the importance of couples consciously making an effort to sustain their emotional connection with each other when starting their journey as a family.

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