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Age Gaps in Relationships: What Do Men and Women Prefer?

A new study reveals the preferred relationship age gaps for men and women.

Key points

  • A new study focused on age gaps in relationships.
  • Researchers analyzed data from 35,996 couples collected across 28 European countries and Israel.
  • The older people get, the more they prefer to have a younger partner if they start a new relationship.
  • This effect is stronger in men than in women.
Source: PatrickFoto/Shutterstock

Many people date partners roughly their age, but some people have quite large age gaps in their relationships. However, there has not been a lot of systematic psychological research to find out how much of an age gap people prefer in a romantic relationship.

To fill this gap, a study recently published in the journal Personal Relationships investigated the preferred age gaps for men and women at the start of a new romantic relationship (Gottfried and co-workers, 2024). The research team, led by Jaroslav Gottfried, analyzed data from 35,996 couples, collected across 28 European countries and Israel.

What age gap do men prefer in a relationship?

The statistical analyses performed by the scientists revealed that the preferred age gap at the beginning of a new relationship depended on gender and the current age of the partners. At age 25, an average man typically partnered with a woman 3 years younger, or about age 22. In contrast, an average 25-year-old woman typically partnered with a partner 3 years older than her, or about age 28.

The statistical model revealed that the older a man gets, the more he prefers a larger age gap with his partner at the beginning of a new romantic relationship. Specifically, for every 5 years of age, the preferred age difference at the beginning of a new relationship between a man and his partner grew by about 1 additional year. This roughly means the average age a man prefers for his partner at the start of a new relationship is about:

  • Own age 25 years: Partner age 22 years (age gap: 3 years)
  • Own age 30 years: Partner age 26 years (age gap: 4 years)
  • Own age 40 years: Partner age 34 years (age gap: 6 years)
  • Own age 50 years: Partner age 42 years (age gap: 8 years)
  • Own age 60 years: Partner age 50 years (age gap: 10 years)
  • Own age 70 years: Partner age 58 years (age gap: 12 years)
  • Own age 80 years: Partner age 66 years (age gap: 14 years)

What age gap do women prefer in a relationship?

For women, a similar but less strong effect was observed after the age of 25 years. On average, for every 10 years of age, the preferred age difference at the beginning of a new relationship between a woman and her partner grew by about 1 additional year. This roughly means the average age a woman prefers for her partner at the start of a new relationship is about:

  • Own age 25 years: Partner age 28 years (age gap: -3 years)
  • Own age 30 years: Partner age 32.5 years (age gap: -2.5 years)
  • Own age 40 years: Partner age 41.5 years (age gap: -1.5 years)
  • Own age 50 years: Partner age 50.5 years (age gap: -0.5 years)
  • Own age 60 years: Partner age 59.5 years (age gap: 0.5 years)
  • Own age 70 years: Partner age 68.5 years (age gap: 1.5 years)
  • Own age 80 years: Partner age 77.5 years (age gap: 2.5 years)

Women initially prefer to have a slightly older partner, but as they age, they increasingly prefer same-aged partners. After about age 60, they tend to prefer at least slightly younger partners.

Conclusion

The older people get, the more they prefer to have a younger partner as they start a new relationship. This is true for both genders, but the statistical difference between men and women is significant, showing that the effect is stronger in men than in women.

Facebook image: Dmytro Zinkevych/Shutterstock

References

Gottfried, J., Ševčíková, A., Blinka, L., & Lambert South, A. (2024). Couples age discrepancies in a large-scale European sample: Evolutionary and sociocultural perspectives. Personal Relationships, 31(4), 987–1000. https://doi.org/10.1111/pere.12579

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