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If we take the idea that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink to the business arena, how do companies help their leaders improve their performance or behavior, through coaching, when they don’t think they need it?
I work with two types of employees when it comes to coaching; pick the one you’d rather be in the room with. One says, “I’m so glad you’re here! I know I’ve got some rough edges, some blind spots, and I need to improve the way I communicate with my staff and my boss. We have a lot to talk about and I want to get right to work.” Chance of success: high.
The other type says, “I don’t know why you’re here or I’m here. It’s probably because one of my team got hurt feelings and complained. Maybe my style is a bit rough, but I get things done. Besides, the clients love me and I make this place a lot of money. Can we get on with whatever this is? I have a lot of work to do.” Chance of success: poor to middling.
For help with this thorny issue, I spoke with Jordan Goldrich, COO of the San Diego-based executive coaching firm, CUSTOMatrix. He holds an LCSW license and the Master Certified Executive Coach (MCEC) designation, from the Association of Corporate Executive Coaches. Jordan is also a Talent Management Executive with Executive Core, an international Executive Coaching firm.
When it comes to coaching the executive who doesn’t want to participate in the process, Jordan says, “Most executives who don’t want to be coached are referred by their managers for coaching for several reasons. They’re very valuable because of their technical knowledge or business expertise, but their interpersonal style creates a negative impact on their key stakeholders, direct reports, and superiors. Or, they are part of a leadership development program, where everyone must have coaching, and they don’t want it because they are legitimately too busy, don’t trust or respect the coach, or don’t believe it will be valuable for them.”
He also sees them having either a lack of insight or a skewed view of their impact on their firm and the people in it. “They’re genuinely not aware of the impact they’re having on others,” he suggests. “Or they recognize they’re having a negative impact but can’t believe their impatience, frustration, anger, and even sarcasm with others is more of a problem than the lack of production, late deadlines, fuzzy thinking, and lack of accountability of the people who are complaining. In addition, many don’t believe they can control their behavior.”
It’s interesting to note the mindset that Jordan Goldrich sees in these executives and senior leaders who are seen as abrasive. They believe they are like warriors, achieving a level of success in overwhelmingly complex strategic roles. He says, “They believe they are not being recognized for their contribution. They may even feel they are being disrespected.”
These internal challenges can manifest in significant hurdles for Jordan as a coach. He says of the abrasive leader as a coachee, “They believe that the request to change is part of a politically-correct culture where, as one executive said to me, ‘Kids are not allowed to play tag because being it will harm their self-esteem.’”
Their coach must help them uncover their own intrinsic motivation to change. In other words, find a reason they would change this behavior even if they were not getting pressured to change. If the coaching is successful, they conclude that they should change because they want to be more consistent with their own core beliefs and values. He says, “Many I have met are sincerely religious people. Or, they may change because they recognize they want to win or achieve even greater things than they already have.”
In many situations, Jordan finds self-assessment instruments can help coachees with their insight. He says, “Assessment instruments provide a wealth of information to coachees in an economical way. Their self-ratings on specific items deepen their understanding of their own motivations, personality style, communication style, decision style, and influence style. The assessment reports and our debriefs can combine to create new options for behavior changes. I typically use two self-assessments, plus a 360 evaluation, which may include my interviews with key stakeholders. Since I’m certified in these assessments - Myers-Briggs, FIRO-B, California Personality Inventory, Workplace Big 5, Conflict Dynamics Profile, DISC, and the Hogan Personality Inventory - they are part of my coaching tool kit as well.”
So, with serious internal and external obstacles in the coachee’s path, how does he prove success? Coaching, like other soft-skills improvements, may not have an obvious immediate benefit, but more of a behavioral and performance shift, which could appear over a span of weeks or months. Obviously, business owners and C-level executives don’t always have a lot of patience for the slow-and-steady route to the improvement approach. Jordan uses subjective evaluations, like feedback from internal customers, peers, superiors and other stakeholders; if the coachee is achieving goals and meeting deadlines; and even employee turnover is a measure.
Poorly-performing employees sometimes leave under the coachee’s “new and improved” leadership approach because they can no longer hide behind the formerly abrasive behavior of their manager.
The coaching process is going to benefit those who participate fully. The challenge in all behavior and performance change is getting coachees to leverage their own intrinsic motivations to change. Then they are able to see the wisdom of good ideas, positive suggestions, and the need to embrace them, whether they initially like the coaching intervention or not.
Dr. Steve Albrecht is a keynote speaker, author, podcaster, and trainer. He focuses on high-risk employee issues, threat assessments, and school and workplace violence prevention. In 1994, he co-wrote Ticking Bombs, one of the first business books on workplace violence. He holds a doctorate in Business Administration (DBA); an M.A. in Security Management; a B.S. in Psychology; and a B.A. in English. He is board certified in HR, security, coaching, and threat management. He worked for the San Diego Police Department for 15 years and has written 17 books on business, HR, and criminal justice subjects. He can be reached at DrSteve@DrSteveAlbrecht.com or on Twitter @DrSteveAlbrecht
