Turning Mistakes Into Opportunities

The odds of making a mistake on any given day are high, considering every decision we make has the potential for error. Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. Most of us can probably think of a gaffe that left us wondering, What was I thinking? and wishing we could turn back the hands of time. Oh, if only it were that easy. Rather than holding ourselves to excessive standards, wallowing in regret, and tearing ourselves down when we screw up, perhaps we can learn to stop dwelling and start living.

5 Ways to Stop Dwelling and Start Living

Source: the blowup / Unsplash

1. Accept imperfection. In a world that pressures us to be perfect, giving ourselves grace for being anything less can be difficult. However, being imperfect is the only thing we are 100 percent good at. When we hold ourselves to excessively high standards, we are more prone to mental health issues such as stress, depression, burnout, and anxiety. Our flawless pursuits have been linked to physical health problems as well, such as ulcers, migraines, chronic fatigue, and hypertension. The evidence is stacked against perfectionism. So, the only thing for us to be is perfectly imperfect.
2. Laugh it off. Stop taking everything so seriously and shake off mistakes by poking fun at what happened. We don't need to berate ourselves, but a good chuckle or lighthearted jab can really go a long way in boosting our mood. For example, humor helps us reframe and change our perspective on the situation by neutralizing the sting of our mistakes. Additionally, it can help us calm down by regulating our emotions. There's nothing like a good laugh to pump the brakes on overthinking. It helps us shift our attention from something stressful to something more manageable. So, when a mistake happens, rev up the jokes and laugh it off by taking the scenic route. Guaranteed, it's a much better path than getting stuck in a mind-stifling traffic jam.
3. Practice self-compassion. Why is it easier to treat others more kindly than we treat ourselves? A little love and kindness go a long way, which also applies to us. Being caring and understanding to ourselves is known as self-compassion. It's when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and open to painful experiences. More importantly, self-compassion reminds us that we are not alone in our experiences; others have made similar mistakes, and this moment doesn't define us. Practicing self-compassion can include giving ourselves a break when we mess up, not overthinking what happened, acknowledging our feelings, and reminding ourselves that we are human. Research on self-compassion shows that having this level of internal caring boosts our mental health by reducing stress and anxiety. So the next time a mistake happens, ask, "How would I treat a loved one in this situation?" and then turn the advice inward.
4. Shift perspectives. Ever looked at an optical illusion and became so focused on one of the images that it became a struggle to see the others? Both images are there, but it's easy to become tunnel-visioned and limit ourselves to only seeing what is right in front of us. However, sometimes, our mind distorts events, so what we think we see may not be entirely accurate. The same is true when we make a mistake. We can become hypervigilant about what we did wrong and fail to see other perspectives. Shifting perspectives means seeing the situation from different angles, considering the views of others, and understanding that we only have one side of the story. When we learn to change our perspective, we can open ourselves to new ways of thinking and see our mistakes more objectively. Mistakes can be seen as a thorn in our sides or a blessing in disguise. Which one will you choose?
5. Learn from mistakes. Every mistake provides an opportunity for growth. Our brain even tries to help us learn from our slip-ups. Researchers from the University of Iowa showed that our brain can recognize an error within one second and then remain active for two to three seconds afterward to reconfigure and process what happened. So, essentially, our brain is saying, Hey, it's not your best moment, so let's make sure it doesn't happen again. Mistakes can be chalked up to experience, and from these life events, we can become wiser—that is, if we learn from our slips and apply what we learned to future situations. So, let the brain do its thing and reroute us for future success. Please make no mistake: Our missteps can be some of life's greatest teachers.

Source: A. L ./ Unsplash

Mistakes—oh, if only there were a portal waiting to warp us to the past for a do-over. Wouldn't that be amazing? Maybe or maybe not, because from our mistakes come opportunities to grow. Regarding life's blunders, it's important to remind ourselves that the past is the past, the present is unfolding before us, and the future has yet to happen. We miss what is right before us when we are constantly looking in the rearview mirror. As the artist Jelly Roll said, "The windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror for a reason." Stop dwelling on mistakes and start living.