The Slippery Slope of Sharenting

Just wanted to let you know—I’m not going to be following you anymore. I don’t trust your parenting content.

I got this DM on Instagram from a follower. She was interested in my parenting advice, but she had a big problem—she didn’t trust me. Her reasoning?

“You never post pictures of your kids. How can I trust your recommendations when you won’t even show your own family?”

It's true. I don't post my children's faces online. If I share a relatable parenting anecdote, I try to disguise which one of my children it's about, and I don't allow my children to use any form of social media. To me, it's a slippery slope and it's one I don't ever want to get on.

I sat with that comment for a moment, considering my response.

Because, to me, it was exactly backward.

If I were plastering my children’s faces all over the internet, that’s when you shouldn’t trust me. That would mean I was putting personal gain—clicks, engagement, the social media algorithm—above my children's privacy and autonomy.

In today’s world, if you want to be heard, you have to play the content game. I know this firsthand. I have a book deal, in part, because I built an engaged audience. I understand how tempting it is to post the kind of content that gets attention. And let’s be honest—nothing boosts engagement quite like kids being cute, quirky, or vulnerable.

That’s exactly why we need to talk about sharenting—and why Shari Franke’s new book, The House of My Mother, is such an important read.

The Slippery Slope of Family Content

Sharenting is effective at getting clicks and engagement. But at what cost? Shari Franke's searing new memoir is a cautionary tale that we should all heed before posting kids online.

Source: maxximmm/123RF

Sharenting—the practice of parents publicly sharing images and personal details about their children online—often starts innocently. Maybe you post a birthday photo, a funny anecdote, or a moment of parental frustration. Maybe you have a parenting account, and you realize that videos featuring your child outperform everything else.

And then? The algorithm takes hold.

Before you know it, your best-performing content is about your kids. Their personalities, their struggles, their everyday lives become the thing that keeps your audience engaged. That’s when the real danger begins—because when engagement means income, the pressure to share more, to go deeper, to post something just a little more raw becomes overwhelming.

Even well-meaning parents can fall into this trap. The digital monster is never satisfied.

Shari Franke knows this better than anyone.

What Shari Franke’s Story Teaches Us About Sharenting

For those unfamiliar, Shari Franke grew up in the public eye as part of the now-infamous YouTube family channel 8 Passengers, run by her mother, Ruby Franke. Millions of subscribers followed their daily lives—every milestone, every meltdown, every disciplinary measure—broadcast for public consumption.

And as Shari details in The House of My Mother, the consequences were devastating. (For more about Ruby Franke, click here.)

She describes losing her sense of personal boundaries, not knowing what was hers and what belonged to the public. She recounts moments when her pain became content, when her private struggles were repackaged as “lessons” for viewers. And, as she bravely testifies, she had no ability to say no.

Because how does a child refuse consent to the very person they rely on for survival?

Shari’s story perfectly illustrates why sharenting is not just problematic—it’s unethical. A child cannot give informed consent to being the subject of public scrutiny. They lack the executive function to understand the long-term implications and the emotional freedom to say, “I don’t want this.”

And if they do try to resist? Parents hold all the power.

Which brings me back to that comment I received: “I don’t trust you because you don’t post pictures of your kids.”

You shouldn’t trust the ones who do, especially if they have any sort of mental health credential. It's difficult to have training in any form of psychotherapy without being aware of just how important boundaries are, and just how complicated identity development is for kids—without the pressures of algorithms, clicks, and audience engagement.

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The Research on Sharenting

While Shari Franke’s personal experience is a powerful anecdotal warning, the research backs it up.

A 2023 study in Frontiers in Psychology found that while many parents believe sharenting strengthens their online communities, it also increases risks of identity fraud, digital kidnapping, and long-term psychological harm.

Another study in The Journal of Pediatrics warns that a child’s digital footprint—created without their consent—can have lasting consequences on their self-esteem, safety, and future opportunities.

A report from the UK Children’s Commissioner found that by the age of 13, the average child has over 1,300 photos of them online—most of which were posted without their input. And once a photo is out there? It can never truly be erased.

Sharenting isn’t just a momentary lapse in judgment—it’s a decision with lifelong ramifications.

Parenting Is Too Precious to Risk for Clicks

Let’s be honest—we all feel the pressure to engage online. As an author, as a psychologist, as someone who needs to be visible to be heard, I understand how hard it is to resist the pull of what works.

But I also know this: Parenting is too precious to risk for clicks.

We don’t need to exploit our kids for engagement. We can build online communities without sacrificing their privacy.

If you’re a parent who’s posted about your child online, I’m not here to shame you. Most of us have done it without thinking. But I am here to ask you to think very, very hard before doing it again.

Because algorithms don’t love your kids. They love engagement.

Because social media doesn’t protect your child’s privacy. It commodifies their innocence.

And because once a moment is public, you can’t take it back.

So, What Can We Do Instead?

If sharenting is so dangerous, what’s the alternative? Here are a few ethical digital practices for parents:

• Limit sharing to private, trusted spaces. A small family WhatsApp chat? Fine. A global Instagram reel? Not fine.
• Ask: Would I want this shared about me? If you were your child, would you want a tantrum, a discipline moment, or a medical update made public?
• Think long-term. That cute toddler photo might seem innocent now, but how will your child feel about it when they’re 13? Or 30?
• If you’re posting because it gets engagement, stop. If you feel yourself getting pulled into the social media machine, pause. Ask yourself: Why am I posting this?

Final Thoughts: Learn From Shari Franke’s Story

Shari Franke’s The House of My Mother is more than a memoir—it’s a warning. It’s a firsthand account of what happens when children become content, when their lives are public property before they even understand what privacy means. (For more about the sentencing in this case, click here.)

Her story should make all of us—whether we’re influencers, educators, or just parents who post online—stop and think.

If your goal is to raise emotionally secure, resilient children, then the first step is giving them the dignity of privacy.

Because the most precious parts of parenting don’t belong on a screen. They belong to our children, and they belong at home.