Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence

Welcome to the hard half of parenting

Carl E Pickhardt Ph.D.

What to Know When Divorcing With Children and Adolescents

While having children and adolescents makes parental marriage more complicated, it also makes divorcing much more challenging.

Adolescence and the Perils of Parental Pride

Why statements such as "I'm so proud of you" can suddenly elicit anger from adolescents.

Parent, Adolescent, and the Use and Abuse of Nagging

Often considered the drudge work of parenting because it is so tiresome to give and receive, this use of parental insistence to wear down adolescent resistance does have its uses.

Why Adolescents Can Reject Political Beliefs of Parents

It is not uncommon for parents to expect older and grown children to maintain the political beliefs of parents, and when this expectation is violated parents can feel upset.

Adolescence and Order

Often less orderly to live with for parents than they were as a child, now the teenager must create personal order (and follow social order, too).

Safe Substance Use in College

Because we live in a drug-filled world, and because college is a more worldly experience, there is more exposure to recreational drug use than before. Thus, safe use is important.

Risk-Taking in Adolescence

Risk-taking increases with adolescence because now the young person is driven to gather more knowledge and experience to grow older and up, taking more chances to fulfill this end.

Parenting Adolescents and the Generational Divide

A core conflict arises when parents insist on maintaining the integrity of family and teenagers insist on their need for change.

Talking About Racism With Your Teenager

Looking out into the larger world outside of family that lays ahead, the social protests give a very sobering message to teenagers about what their future life is going to be like.

Parenting in Response to Adolescent Curiosity

Curiosity is a very powerful human emotion, motivating interest that educates but also endangers, so parents need to teach mindful risk-taking when undertaking a new experience.

Older Adolescents and the Complexity of First Love

Although a romanticized love relationship becomes more frequent in the last stage of adolescence, it can become challenging to manage. Understanding this complexity can help.

Supporting Two Separations that Enable Adolescent Growth

The onset of adolescence brings the loss of childhood and creates two developmental challenges for the young person: to grow a functional independence and a fitting identity

Parenting and the Importance of Liking Your Adolescent

While steadfast parental love secures attachment, constant parental liking conveys approval that nourishes adolescent self-esteem.

Adolescence and the Tyranny of Ideals

Ideals are very powerful human inventions that symbolize the best that people can live up to; however, they can sometimes become sources of self-punishment when failing to be met.

Talking to Children About the Coronavirus

There are two connected contagions besetting the world right now: One is biological and viral, and the other is psychological and emotional. The name of this second one is "Fear."

How Adolescents can Suffer Social Mistreatment at School

Just as social cruelty and social inequity can painfully impact adulthood, they can also affect the lives of school age adolescents. Parents can listen and help work out what to do

Parenting and Adolescent Privacy

Adolescents' need for privacy conflicts with parents' need for information. The young person wants enough privacy for personal freedom but not so much that parents can't relate to who and how they are.

Helping Adolescents Recognize and Recover from Self-Sabotage

It's easy to fall into some pattern of self-defeating behavior in adolescence because the motivation to do so can be hard to resist. A teenager might need help to get out.

Helping Your Unhappy Adolescent Feel Better

Times of unhappiness need to be accepted in adolescence, but parents can coach their teenager in ways to recover and feel happier again.

Adolescence and the Age of More "Talking Back"

As adolescent independence grows, the teenager tends to become less quietly compliant with parental demands and limits and more willing to disagree.

Parenting an Adolescent and the Power of Hope

Parenting with hope creates a mindset of positive possibilities that can enable adolescents to endure during hard times.

The Story of Adolescence

While every adolescent passage is somewhat different, collectively, the growing processes of claiming individual identity and assuming social independence share much in common.

Adolescence and the Powers of Parental Supervision

Parental supervision can wear on both the parent and the teenager because it takes a lot of energy to give and it is often not appreciated to receive.

When Parents Observe an "Adolescent Appreciation Day"

Sometimes it's easy for parents and teenagers to get lost in the hardships of the adolescent passage and lose sight of all the good that is going on. Best to take positive notice.

The Importance of Self-Disclosure for Parents and Adolescents

Everyone has a responsibility to allow themselves to be adequately known by others so that relationships can progress. Self-disclosure is an essential life skill.

Adolescence and What High School Dating Has to Teach

The management of high school dating relationships has some bearing on the more serious social coupling to come. Parents should monitor the treatment lessons being learned.

Parenting Through the Middle-School Motivation Loss

Becoming a middle school student is challenging in many adolescent ways. Parents can be there to help when the transition becomes hard.

Growing a Satisfying Relationship With Your Adult Child

As an older adolescent develops into a young adult, the parent often needs to emphasize different roles if closeness is to continue to grow between them.

Adolescence and the Psychology of Self-Defeat

Part of growing up is occasionally becoming stuck in harmful patterns of behavior; part of being a parent is helping adolescents break free.

When a Middle School Best Friendship ("BFF") Falls Apart

Best friendships are bonded, intimate relationships in mine-adolescence; and when that bond is broken there is much hurt to experience and grieving to do.

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