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Why we can't (or won't) move on from bad jobs, bad relationships, and bad habits, and how we can all move ahead.
For those who don't believe that they deserve good things, gratitude can be hard to muster on a holiday that's all about being grateful for good things.
If you're triggered by competition, exposure, judgment, people-pleasing, or performativity, social media is an unsafe realm.
Were you taught to dread, disdain, and disown your accomplishments? Dissecting those distortions can help defuse them and reopen the path to pride.
Aging layers trauma on top of trauma. Our tired bodies and minds tell us we've tried too hard and it's too late.
Self-hatred denies its victims many of the main comforts and milestones that people with high and even medium self-esteem often take for granted.
Hating oneself makes it nearly impossible to express oneself or accurately hear what others say.
Being ghosted by a good friend feels like freefall, and it's incredibly easy to blame ourselves.
Low self-esteem doesn't always manifest as sad-faced individuals glaring into mirrors.
Hours are spent planning, posing, posting, and tracking the popularity of a single selfie. Is there any more to these pictures than "This is how I look"?
Shame evolved over millennia as a means of maintaining social order and shared values. But how much is enough, and who gets to decide?
Being "low" on "self-esteem" is like being low on sightedness or air. A more dynamic phrase would enable more authentic conversations.
However well-meant, "find your passion" can sound to its hearers like a trick, a trap, a taunt. Why is this — and are there other ways to give this same great advice?
That scary, scathing mental commentary is so constant that we mistake it for our actual selves. What if it's not?
The social awkwardness that causes pain often comes from pain. A little empathy can help us understand what derails dialogues.
Most people take a sense of self for granted. For those of us who feel compelled to frame "I" and "me" with quotation marks, basic experiences feel alien and forbidden.
It's a form of suffering, but can hatred guide us toward authenticity and even make us happier?
It's not that we didn't want to grow up and step up. It's that we weren't given the crucial tools when it mattered most, so now we're stuck playing catch-up.
How do such scenes make actual bulimics and ex-bulimics feel?
It's an annual chance to ponder, and prepare for, the worst—although, this year, Halloween arguably started in March.
Being emotionally injured by those who "couldn't help it" or "didn't mean it" or "were doing their best" or "tried to help you" spawns its own set of often devastating problems.
Despite its proven benefits, the practice can be torture for those who can't stand sitting in their own skin and then hate themselves for "failing" at it.
It sounds like holy, healing, one-size-fits-all advice. But sometimes "forgive and forget" has the exact opposite effect.
Witnessing mass casualties — lives, livelihoods, and futures lost — in unprecedented numbers is forcing us to learn whole new emotional arithmetics. Is it changing us long-term?
Perhaps for the first time ever, we want this question answered honestly.
Home all day, forced to learn brand-new behaviors: What can this pandemic-driven re-childedness reveal about us? What can it teach us besides how to wash our hands?
New types of crime are emerging, and old types of crime are seizing advantage of worldwide panic.
Not that we'd wish this on anyone, but for some of us, it's so familiar.
Wealth and fame aren't an instant cure for body dysmorphia. Sometimes they simply put it on public display.
Can we reclaim, reframe, and rename our accomplishments to make them feel more real?
Self-hatred starts in the brain, but seldom stops there.
S. Rufus is the author, under the byline Anneli Rufus, of books including Party of One and Stuck.