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Regardless of your circumstances, we all experience frustration. Whether it’s overcoming the deficits from a stroke or other illness, or just dealing with the daily grind, frustration is part of life.
It is helpful to envision a glass filling with water to describe the frustrations you encounter during your day. For example, your alarm clock sounds, but you’ve slept poorly due to stress, chronic pain, or an overactive mind. Your day hasn’t started yet, but you already have some water in your glass. Then it’s time to get the kids ready for school, but they won’t listen. More water is added. You get them to school and drive to work, but there’s an accident on the highway and you’re stuck in traffic. More water. You’re late for work and the boss yells at you. More water. This process continues — frustration after frustration. You finally make it to the end of your workday and are driving home when someone cuts you off. Your glass overflows. Anger takes over and you freak out — yelling at the other driver and vigorously honking your horn!
Sometimes the thing that overflows your glass is inconsequential, even trivial (e.g., the dog knocks over his water dish). But it is the final straw! Others around you are puzzled and think your reaction is overboard, considering the water can be cleaned up in less than 10 seconds. But they haven’t experienced your whole day of accumulated frustrations.
How Does Frustration Make You Feel?
What can we learn about handling frustration? First, it requires you to look inside yourself to be more aware of how full your glass is getting, so you can recognize when it is getting close to overflowing. How are you feeling during the day as more and more situations present themselves? Do you feel increased anxiety? Do you have difficulty breathing at certain points? Do you find yourself irritable or impatient?
Reducing the Accumulated Effect of Frustration
Let’s consider how you can empty some water out of the glass to prevent it from overflowing? How do you pour water from your glass?
Different things work for different people, but some methods you might consider are:
- Listening to music
- Meditation or yoga
- Drawing
- Exercising
- Puzzles or crosswords
- Watching something funny online
- Doing crafts
- Writing down how you are feeling
- Reading
- Savoring a cup of tea
- Sitting outside in the sunshine
- Cuddling with a pet or a family member
- Going for a nature walk
- Enjoying a hot bath
- Talking with someone that you trust
Sometimes in work environments, you might vent to each other and end up laughing when you realize that we all deal with similar experiences and frustrations. At work, you might consider going for a walk on a break with colleagues or sitting in the staff room and reading to escape. The important point is that this activity distracts you from the frustrations of the day and gives you a chance to defuse.
I challenge you to learn to be aware of your feelings and recognize how much water is in your glass and recognize when it’s close to overflowing. Experiment with different activities that either help you cope or assist you to relieve the frustration and offer an escape.
I do not have perfect days where my glass never overflows. I still have days when overflow happens, but by recognizing how full my glass is and using these techniques to prevent overflow, I have been able to greatly reduce the number of times my glass spills over.
