Courage is a widely misunderstood concept. It is more than facing fears and confronting physical danger; it is a subjective and personal experience. Courage can be enhanced to make dramatic leaps toward desired goals.
Support from close relationships is very important to healthy coping. Some types of support you may seek from those you associate with are acceptance, permanence, closeness, validation, and love. Gaining these and other kinds of support will go a long way in helping you to cope with the challenges you face.
The challenge of being different provides great opportunities for growth. Those we interviewed mentioned getting stronger from their challenges, needing to expend more effort, having more opportunities for leadership, and helping you learn to deal with your emotions in an effective manner.
Being different provides many important self-insights including not judging others, not feeling the need to please others, seeing yourself through God’s eyes, having the need to be different satisfied, knowing that you are not alone, feeling that differences add variety and enriched perspective, and acknowledging the most important things in life.
Focus on taking action to change what you can actually change and try not to worry about the things that you can’t change. Take action to help yourself feel better and choose not to be offended in regards to the stupid comments of others. Finally, make your difference work to your advantage.
Sometimes being different can draw negative attention in the form of people staring or picking on you. However, in many cases, the attention can be very positive. Some of the people we interviewed suggested that standing out gave them more positive attention, a chance to be a positive example, and more opportunities in general.
Standing out definitely has its challenges. It is not only annoying but it can be emotionally painful to have people stare at you all the time. If you are the type that doesn’t enjoy attention, it can be tiring to have so much of it. Many people get frustrated with the sense that they don’t look normal when they long to simply blend in with the crowd.
Unfortunately many people allow the challenges of being different to cloud their feelings of self-worth instead of using their difference as a motivator to prove their worth in other ways, not only to others but to themselves as well. Don’t allow this to happen to you. Instead, let your difference fill you with motivation to achieve in all areas of your life.
An inherent flaw in stereotypes is that they can be assumptions that are completely inaccurate. If it is a negative stereotype it can be psychologically damaging, and if a positive stereotype is incorrect, people can feel like they are disappointing others or themselves. People don’t want to be known just for their difference.
One of the most important benefits of being different is the gift of empathy. The empathy that you have gained from your experiences will give you compassion and understanding, will help you better know how to serve others, and provides a unique way to connect with others who share similar difficulties.
Almost everyone we interviewed had endured teasing about their physical difference to one degree or another. The people whose interviews we shared in this chapter described how the teasing was demeaning and hurtful to their self-esteem. Oftentimes people don’t know that they are being hurtful, and you should let them know.
Being grateful for your difference can allow you to reach a new level of self-acceptance. With this heightened feeling of surety, you can positively reframe many things in life. By being accepting of who you are and allowing yourself to feel grateful for your difference, you put yourself in the best possible light for everyone else to see.
When you stand out from others, it can sometimes be natural to become self-conscious about your body. This can often result in multiple negative outcomes for you and your self-image. It’s important to realize that we are not being watched constantly and that we are each inherently beautiful in some way.
Rather than getting offended by the silly remarks of others, try to join in on the fun by finding humor in your situation. By teasing yourself you can turn your difference into an asset and you can make others feel comfortable around you. Have fun with yourself and do not be easily offended—it will make a positive difference in your life.
From those we interviewed, we learned that there were several reasons why being different made them feel left out. Some people talked about feeling left out due specifically to a physical characteristic. Others described being left out of activities because their difference kept them from connecting socially with their peers. Outright discrimination was another cause.
There are a few reasons why having a role model might be helpful, including dispelling your limiting beliefs, giving you an idea of your possible future self, showing you how to cope with similar challenges, and giving you inspiration and motivation to continue persisting.
Exciting news! My book Four Truths About Weight Loss That Nobody Tells You is available for purchase in Kindle or hardcopy. Also, I have been invited to share my weight loss ideas with hundreds of thousands of listeners on the Happiness and Success Formula Telesummit. In today's post I describe 3 weight loss myths that are sure to destroy your success.
Many people dream of traveling the world and very few people actually do. Why? They tell themselves that they can’t afford it. In fact, the problem just gets worse when you get married and have children. Having traveled to 48 states, over 20 countries and five continents on a graduate student salary of $14,000 a year, I know it can be done! I will show you how!
I think that initially I was embarrassed to be short. I didn’t like all the nicknames that went along with it and I didn’t like all the teasing that seemed to go along with my height. However, as time passed I began to accept my height and then I began to really own it. I realized all of the hidden benefits of being short and I began to take pride in being short.
A very significant advantage of being different is that it can become an automatic filter for superficial people. Seriously, your being different becomes a fantastic way to drastically improve the chances that you will spend your time with people who love you for who you are as a person rather than for superficial qualities.
You can’t control what you are given in life; however, you can control how you respond. You can either choose to become bitter or to become better. The poet William Henley once said, “I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” Ultimately we are the only ones who control our destiny and control how we choose to respond to any set of circumstances.
It’s easy to stay focused on the negative aspects of being different. However, dwelling on the negative is usually harmful to your mental health and well-being. Thinking of the negatives about your situation is the natural response. Instead, try to see the positives of being different and focus on these things; you’ll notice a drastic difference in your outlook on life.
Recall the theory of ‘Survival of the Fittest.’ Whether or not you believe that mankind evolved from apes, there is a great deal of evidence that species do evolve to some degree through a process of natural selection. We are now living in a VERY different age of information in which physical attributes play a diminishing role in success and survival and different rules.
The objective of this blog, Standing Up for Standing Out, is to provide you with life-changing strategies that will not only help you to cope with being different in physical appearance, but will transform your perception of your difference from a liability into an asset.
Have you ever lost a lot of weight and were “committed” to never regain it again, but you didn’t have a plan? If so, you are just like more than 80% of people who lose weight only to put it right back on. I have now maintained my weight losses for three years and it feels great. There is no one silver bullet for maintenance.
To really change your weight for the course of your lifetime, you’ll need to permanently change some of your habits. Doing so will aid you in a powerful way to keep that extra weight off. I will discuss two more of the most important habit changes to make including regular eating and avoiding certain foods.
To really change your weight for the course of your lifetime, you’ll need to permanently change some of your habits. Doing so will aid you in a powerful way to keep that extra weight off. In this post will discuss one of three of the most important habit changes to make, portion control. Mindless eating is probably the biggest reason why we eat more than we should.
To keep the weight off it’s crucial that you reconcile yourself as having a chronic condition. In other words, you’ve got to accept that you’ve got a weight problem that won’t just go away now that you are thin and trim. It’s comparable to finding out that you have a chronic illness.