Resilience
9 Steps for Living an October Life
Autumn offers powerful lessons for living with authenticity and resilience.
Posted September 26, 2025 Reviewed by Monica Vilhauer Ph.D.
Key points
- The autumnal changes in nature remind us of life's impermanence, beauty, and show us how to live.
- Autumn's images of changing leaves, harvest, and preparing for winter are reflected in how we age.
- Living deliberately means choosing positive steps forward and embracing life as it unfolds.
- An October life is a series of choices to live boldly, with integrity, responsibility, and self-awareness.
Henry David Thoreau called October “the month for painted leaves” in his final essay, "October, or Autumnal Tints". He marveled at the colors revealed when trees stop producing chlorophyll—reds, yellows, and oranges long hidden beneath the green. “The change to some higher color in a leaf,” he wrote, “is evidence that it has arrived at a late and perfect maturity, answering to the maturity of fruits.”
It’s the same with people. Moving through our middle into older age—life's autumn—brings changes to our bodies, work, and relationships. But we decide how to live with them and what they will mean for us. Aging is inevitable, but “old” is a choice. The question is: Do you embrace change as an opportunity to grow? Do you glean wisdom from your life’s seasons and live with intention, gratitude, and vibrancy—what I call an October life?
Of course, we have the chance—many chances—throughout our lives to choose which paths we will follow, what meanings we will attach to our experience, and how they will shape us. This is why it's not only possible but highly desirable to cultivate an October life at whatever age you may be.
Here are nine steps for living a meaningful "October life" in any season:
1. Connect with nature
Time outdoors grounds us in the present. During the early, uncertain months of the COVID pandemic in 2020, I hiked many of Connecticut’s beautiful trails. Hiking pulls us out of worry because uneven terrain demands attention. Immersed in nature, we reduce stress, practice mindfulness, and we are reminded that we’re part of something larger than ourselves.
2. Be aware of beauty
“The beauty of autumn is its own reason,” Thoreau wrote. Beauty exists for its own sake, enriching us beyond surface pleasure. It inspires and restores, reminding us of life’s vitality. This is why we bring flowers to hospital patients: their color, scent, and vibrancy carry the energy of life. Surround yourself with beauty in nature, art, music, or daily rituals—and notice how it elevates your spirit.
3. Remember life is short and fragile
Autumn reminds us of life's impermanence. Leaves fall, days shorten, and a chill creeps into the air. As I prepare to celebrate my 67th October, I think of loved ones no longer here and feel gratitude for another trip around the sun. Awareness of life’s brevity helps us treat time as precious. Drop words like “killing time” or “someday.” Use your days well, and celebrate the gift of being alive. The popular Latin phrase "carpe diem" means much more than "seize" the day. From the Roman poet Horace's Odes, published in 23 BCE, it actually means "pluck the day, trusting as little as possible in the next one." Squeeze every drop of juice from each day because tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone.
4. Show your true colors
Autumn leaves flame out in brilliant defiance of winter. They remind us to live authentically and, as my late college advisor "Doc" used to say to me, "Live while you are alive!" Like the widowed Scarlett O’Hara in her scarlet dress while in mourning, we too can dazzle when the world expects us to shrink back. Resist fading quietly into life’s winter. Embrace your uniqueness. Live boldly, brilliantly, on your own terms.
5. Reap the harvest of a well-lived life
Voltaire’s Candide gave us the timeless instruction: “We must cultivate our garden.” Growth requires intention—preparing soil, planting, feeding, and weeding. The same applies to life: Choose carefully where and with whom you spend your time. Cultivate healthy relationships and practices. The harvest you reap—fulfillment, meaning, joy—depends on the garden you’ve tended.
6. Store up wisdom
The Greeks believed suffering was inevitable—but also a path to wisdom. Losses and disappointments clarify our values. Challenges show us what truly matters. Ask yourself: What have life’s hardships taught me about who I am and what I value? The wisdom you’ve gained becomes both your shelter and your gift to others.
7. Pass along what you know
An October life means sharing your harvest with others. Mentor younger people or peers. Help them to cultivate their own October life, whatever age they may be. Offer guidance, encouragement, or simply your presence. In doing so, you extend your light to those still seeking theirs, leaving a legacy of generosity and continuity.
8. Dress in layers (practice resilience)
A New England October might begin chilly, rise to 80 degrees midday, then drop sharply at sunset. Dressing in layers that can be peeled off or added back on is essential—and it’s also a metaphor for resilience. Life requires flexibility. The “layers” we gather from experience—skills, strategies, perspectives—help us adapt when the climate of life suddenly shifts.
9. Protect your roots
New England gardeners insulate perennials with pine needles and leaves to help them survive winter. Likewise, we protect ourselves by nurturing friendships, family, colleagues, and community. Connection sustains us when darkness and cold come. Strong, reciprocal relationships keep our roots healthy, deep, and ready to bloom again.
Living an October life means embracing change, cultivating wisdom, and sharing our harvest with others. Anyone, at any age, can practice these lessons.
So ask yourself: Which of these steps resonates most with you? And how will you begin cultivating your own October life?
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In developing the concept of October life, I collected a number of my "Stonewall Strong" articles and other pieces published elsewhere in an ebook titled The Month for Painted Leaves: Nine Steps for Living an October Life. The articles in the collection offer real-life examples of living an October life.

