Starving at the Banquet

Eating disorders from both sides of the couch.

Lauren Grunebaum L.C.S.W.

The Right Way to Feel

Life is full of transitions. No matter how old we are, it is vital that we allow ourselves to connect with and express our full range of emotions. There is no one "right" way to feel.

Home For the Holidays

Having a plan of action helped my client to see that she was no longer a helpless child, but a young woman with the ability to make choices. She did not have to fall back on self-destructive coping mechanisms of binging and purging. She could choose a more effective way to deal with uncomfortable feelings.

Change of Heart

From a clinician's point of view, is it better to get the weight gain over as quickly as possible, like ripping a band-aid off a wound or preferable to gain at a slower pace? I now believe that there is no one answer. Just as I learned to relinquish the rigidity of the anorexia, I am now more flexible in my thinking about treatment. There is no one right path to recovery.

Instant Gratification

Almost no recovery from an eating disorder occurs without periods of regression. As much as the sufferer wants to be free of her obsessions about eating and starving, she does not remember how to navigate life without her illness.

Searching for the Magic Wand

Ambivalence about recovery from anorexia comes in many forms and has many voices. One way the ambivalence gets expressed is through what I call searching for the magic wand.

The Best Anorexic

An anorexic who loses weight by restricting her food feels superior to and has a higher status than one who loses weight by purging. Anorexia sufferers often feel they are higher in status than bulimics. Starving oneself and restricting ones food implies more self-control; and a sense of control is characteristic of those with anorexia and bulimia.

What Do I Do If My Friend Has an Eating Disorder?

What can I say to a friend who I think has an eating disorder? How can I support my friend once she is in treatment?

The Angst of Separation

When I was eleven, I expressed my separation anxiety by running away from camp. At seventeen, I expressed it through my anorexia. The two were variations on the same theme.

Dreaming of Being Special

The more my life was ruled by the illness, the more I clung to it for dear life - even while it was eating me alive. It became my entire life, replacing meaningful relationships and a fulfilling career.

My Reaction to The New York Times Article: In Fighting Anorexia, Recovery Is Elusive

I didn't choose to starve myself

Even when I was clearly malnourished and my clothes were hanging off of me, people would look at me and say, "I wish I could have some of what you have." I also heard, "Tell me your secret (i.e. for staying slim)." Both of these comments implied that starving myself was a choice and a trait they wished to emulate.

Anorexia Sufferers Are Hungry, Too

Anorexia nervosa is a greedy illness. It takes everything it can. It becomes all-consuming and all-encompassing. There is no room left for anything nor anyone else.