Your Purpose: You Can Feel It in Your Bones

Humankind’s greatest quest, in many ways, is the one for meaning. As Victor Frankl wrote, “In times of crisis, people reach for meaning. Meaning is strength. Our survival may depend on our seeking and finding it.”

And yet, this mission can prove maddening. The stress of “finding our purpose” can, on its own, become a crisis.

As a clinical psychologist, I often will hear worries from clients about “finding their purpose.” They feel left out, seeing those around them appear to be “born” for something. On the other hand, some of my clients are so consumed by what they believe to be their individual purpose that they can’t see their part in the larger whole, becoming isolated from their communities. All the while, our culture is dominated by narratives about “The Chosen One,” a hero whose destiny is discovered and achieved in often under two hours. No wonder we feel so confused about how we’re supposed to play our part.

But, I’d argue that each of us is “The Chosen One.” In our own way, we are each chosen by life. It just doesn’t always look how we might expect.

It's in Our Bones: A Metaphor for Meaning

When pondering purpose, I think that our own biology offers an excellent metaphor. Every cell in our bodies begins as a stem cell produced from bone marrow, carrying the exact same DNA. Then, they develop into something completely unique: a neuron, a muscle fiber, a liver cell. Not by accident or chance, but by life's greater intelligence.

Purpose can work like that too.

Just like cells, each of us, each self among the eight billion on this planet, is born from the same essential material: our life's force capacity for consciousness, for action, for love. Our DNA may be 99.9% the same as each other, but what we do with our lives can be as distinct from each other as a heart cell is from a lung.

This differentiation is what allows our bodies to work. We don’t need every cell to be a neuron. We need connective tissue, muscles, immune responses, and more: The eye doesn’t try to pump blood, and the pancreas doesn’t try to taste. A healthy body, just like a healthy society, requires diversity, with each self playing its particular role. And just as the whole body suffers when one part is ill, so does the greater whole when we ignore the calling we were chosen for.

Choosing Our Calling

Of course, purpose isn’t imposed on us. We’re not machines responding to preset programming. We’re more like musicians in an orchestra. Life hands us a unique instrument, a soul’s score sheet, and fellow musicians to play with, and we play in harmony with the symphony of life.

Your gifts are not random. They are how life wants to be played through your instrument: you. But you must also choose to play your song. You must decide to take part. That's what it means to truly be “a Chosen One.”

Deep down, we all long to be useful—to make a difference. We want to make a meaningful contribution to our family, friends, and colleagues, as well as the larger whole. Our most profound fulfillment lies in actualizing our specific talents to serve the greater organism in the web of life. This is what the Japanese concept of Ikigai (“reason for being”) invites us to embrace: combining what we love to do, what we are good at, and what the world needs.

When a cell fulfills its role, the body thrives. When each self fulfills its calling—the calling that whispers from within every being—the entire world can thrive too.

Mobilizing Meaning

In my interviews with spiritually intelligent exemplars as nominated by their peers, I found that the ability to mobilize meaning was central to well-being, quality of life, and long-term fulfillment.[i] Nearly everyone heeded their calling. They aligned their everyday actions with an overarching sense of purpose—in many cases, one that was inextricable from the concept of service to their communities and the larger whole they were embedded in. This supported both a sense of meaning and belonging.

I also found that CEOs who scored high on the purpose dimension saw teams with more commitment, better work ethics, higher morale, enhanced team spirit, and less turnover. For each of the leaders, their sense of purpose drew in kindred spirit collaborators and inspired greater alignment, focus, and cohesion in their teams, creating a shared, lasting dedication that echoed throughout their entire organization.[ii]

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Other research has confirmed these findings; for example, a 2023 research paper reported that greater purpose in life was significantly associated with decreased levels of depression and anxiety.[iii] Purpose has even been found to promote resilience.[iv]

To me, it feels utterly gratifying to see Frankl’s wisdom echoed all these years later by modern studies—but of course, this would make sense: My own purpose is to promote spiritual intelligence in myself and the world.

You Can Choose to Answer the Call

Regardless of how you may feel about your own purpose, please know that none of us are here by mistake. You are not interchangeable. You are one expression of life’s creative intelligence, given unique gifts and invited to embody a function only you can fulfill.

Like a stem cell becoming a heart, you are meant to actualize your unique potential and contribute. It’s true for all of us—united, purposeful, and helping the world beat a little stronger every day.